Process & Purpose

"The older you get, the tougher life is..."

Just reflected on the past week...
Struggling with the new responsibility at work, the "Mission Impossible" .
Why struggling? First, it's boring. Really.
I prefer to do my previous responsibilities. I would be able to meet lots of different people in need and I know that I made a difference in their lives.
This new responsibility? I must teach the same people everyday. Teach the same thing.
The worst part is... All of us realized that it is impossible to pass the assessment. No, this is not a negative thought. This is actually based on facts & experiences. How could you expect a Malay-speaker to pass a Bahasa Indonesia assessment while the Indonesian themselves cannot pass?!?!
The people I teach now are very reluctant to learn. They just do it because the boss asked them to.
Very discouraging...

But... it didn't stop there...

"The older you get, the tougher life is...." It's true.
"But that is how life supposed to be if you want to grow. The tougher it is, the more lesson you learn"

Well... here is what I learned:
1. Process
It is the process that matters most. Just enjoy it.
Results will depend on other people's assessment, but as long as I do my best, no regret eventhough I have to bear the consequences of failing (scolded? pushed to resign?).
Yup, I will feel sad or down, but not regret, coz I have given the best according to my abilities & experiences. And you know what? These 5 past days the office has been merrier (coz more people from other office came to be taught). And... I could build relationship with the people that I was not closed with previously... And... I got to try so many new kind of food! (they really know how to eat! Haha)

2. Purpose
It is easy to feel bored. But I learned that even the things that seem routine or small ALSO happened for a reason... serve a higher purpose...
This thought came up to me when I read through a book in my quiet time. It says "God has divine purposes to accomplish in this world... There is nothing in this world that is outside the influence of the purposes of God" (Warren W. Wiersbe)
WOW. It means: EVERY ACTION counts! Every action serves a purpose! And for most of the time I just forgot this truth!
I got up... brushed my teeth... took a bath... had breakfast... waited for the bus... on the way to work... arrived at office... clocked in my time... teached... finished work... went home... slept...
Seems very everyday thing and boring rite? But if I change my perspective, it does make a huge difference in my life.
If, for example, when I brush my teeth, I make myself realize that it would help me to be more confident in smiling and talking with people...
If, for example, when I have breakfast, I make myself think that it will give me the strength I need to teach more energetically so that the students will respond more positively to what I teach...
Could you see the difference? Yup. I will do it happily and seriously (coz it has a purpose!).
Well... the struggle now is to constantly remind myself that every action - even the smallest one - serves a purpose. And the ultimate purpose is: to glorify God.
Not easy, I believe. But even a struggle serves a purpose, doesn't it? :)

3. I missed my previous responsibilities so much! Thank God He let me do it again yesterday. And it was a wonderful class, coz they asked so many questions and we have quite a lot of discussion (just an ideal class I would have!)

As a closing, I would like to quote a prayer that I found out yesterday on the way to work (a help that is in time!):

"Almighty God, we bless and praise Thee that we have wakened to the light of another earthly day; and now we will think of what a day should be. Our days are Thine, let them be spent for Thee. Our days are few; let them be spent with care.

There are dark days behind us: forgive their sinfulness. There may be dark days before us: strengthen us for their trials. We pray Thee to shine on us this day - the day which we may call our own.

Lord, we go to our daily work; help us to be faithful in doing it. Let all we do be well done, fit for Thine eye to see. Give us strength to do, patience to bear; let our courage never fail.

When we cannot love our work, let us think of it as Thy task and by our true love to Thee, make unlovely things shine in the light of Thy great love. Amen. "

-George Dawson (1821-1876)-

(taken from "Secure in the Everlasting Arms" by Elisabeth Elliot)