Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Farewell with Rev. Jahja & Ev. Jung2

Rev. Jahja was my church pastor for the last 9 months and Ev. Jung2 is his wife. Both of them serve GOD together with us in Singapore. For me, their character and their life has been a model to follow...

1. Humility.
Pa Jahja is a very humble person. He never boast about his strength or achievements but he always compliment us for what we have done. He has the heart of a true servant. Serve God and serve others, no more.
There was once I bought sambal fried rice to the church secretariat before we have Prayer Meeting. I was so hungry and so ready to eat it. But... I dropped it! *fool Ita!* I was so upset with myself at that time. Then when I cleaned the mess on the floor, Pa Jahja came to me and relaxly said, "Wa.. you dropped your sambal fried rice?! Do not worry, now I will go buy for you again". I tried to hinder him but he insisted to go. He bought me the sambal fried rice and refused to be paid. "I'm your father. A daughter never needs to pay her father." I really touched by his act of service. It calmed my previously-upset heart and replaced it with gratitude.

2. The importance of process
Pa Jahja always reminds us to love GOD through our whole life and ministry. Once after we performed a Christmas musical drama, he told all of us, "The musical drama will be useless if after this you don't love GOD more."
Love God instead of the ministry. Love God instead of His blessings only. Love God instead of His Word only.

3. To speak from the heart
Every sermon, every counselling time, every conversation, was very powerful, because they always speak from their heart. Never try to cover their weakness, never try to lie, and it came out from their true life experience.

4. To serve others unrelentingly
I sometimes really lazy to talk to people, especially when I myself also busy. But when I saw their lives, I saw great people of GOD that dedicated their energy and time to help others. Eventhough they are tired (go to Bandung back and forth, use their leave time in the US to minister with packed schedule), they will try their best to visit people, pray for others, share their experiences or give encouragement.

Thank you, Pa Jahja & Bu Jung2, for being a role model to me. I really wanna have a shepherd heart like you. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement. You will be greatly missed! :'(

Batam Trip

On 25th-26th Dec me & a couple of church members went to Batam. The main purpose is to attend a housewarming party. This trip has been a refreshing and inspiring trip. I'll let you know why:
1. Because we could share the joy with the family in celebrating their new house.
The house owner, which is one of our church members, has asked us to pray for her in the process of finishing this house because there has been many issues and challenges, especially in dealing with the contractor. The finishing of the house has been long-delayed and she was quite frustrated with it. So... for me to be able to stay at the house for one night, and for all of us to be able to attend the housewarming, is like a prayer answered! :) Of course we should feel grateful and joy.
2. Because I had an encounter with nature.
To step back from metropolitan life for a while and go to see the plains, beaches and animals was so refreshing! Admiring God through what He has made for us humans :)
3. Because I was inspired by true life stories from women of God.
There're 2 people who has inspired me during the Batam trip.
One is the house owner, especially when she told us about the challenging process of buying the land and in the planning to build the house. She did it by herself! I learnt about preseverance from her experience.
Second is the wonderful lady who has been our unexpected "tour guide". It's been a such a great journey with her! Truly unimaginable! She was one of the pioneer in building Batam. She has been in Batam for 20 years. She stepped her feet from the time when Batam was still untamed forest until now. She knew Batam by heart. It's been a privilege to be in her car along the journey around Batam. She shared so many things about Batam and about her inspiring life stories:
- She started the construction in Batam with ZERO knowledge about being a contractor! She was a medical student and managed a cosmetic company before, but she studied and keep studying until now. Her vision of a developed Batam is the only thing that drives her to do all the things she did. She did not even have money and had to loan from the bank. One funny thing happened when she went to meet the loan officer and he asked her to give him a proposal.
Her answer was, "What is a proposal?" :)
The loan officer then answered, "A picture or plan of what you will build".
"Oh... sure. Please lend me a paper and a pen. I will explain." she replied :D
From her I learned not to be afraid to be a visionary person or whatever people say to me. When Batam was only dark forest, she had already envisioned the island to be like Sg and she dared take Mr. H's (then Indonesian president) challenge to build Batam. Many many people has regarded her as "crazy" and "stupid" but it never stops her.
-Let me quote her:
"From the outside you might see me as a great woman, but you wouldn't have imagined how much tears dropped..."
"I have been through a lot of bitterness... there are times even my closest ones also did not support me..."
"But God's grace... Every time my head touched the pillow, I would fall to sleep. That is one of the most important thing." :)
"My grandfather once told me, 'Remember, whatever happens, a woman must stop crying and go back to the kitchen because she has a family to support. WHATEVER HAPPENS...' and I will never forget what he said"
There are so many other stories that I could not write everything here. But one thing I firmly believe that she is surely a woman of determination, resilience, and faith and I learned a lot on NOT TO GIVE UP!

I thank GOD for giving me an opportunity to spend time with those women. I went home getting inspired. My mind was so fresh, full of ideas and things to reflect on :)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

A Tough Week and The Faithful One

The past weeks has been especially tough for me at work...

More and more students are coming. It's draining to teach lots of students because I had to assess each of them and sometimes didn't have time to ask them to re-do if they made mistake. And as a result, I would feel guilty for not doing my best in teaching them.

I feel that nowadays the office staffs experienced greater pressure.

Our largest client sent so many students and sometimes pushed us to teach more than we should. The regulation stated that in one class there can't be more than 30 people, but trainers often taught more than that (up to 36! And sometimes they sent the students late for class so the students would miss the first part of the course).

The big boss also didn't help. They actually had the authority to prevent client sending so many students, but instead they just let the client did what they wanted and "encourage" trainers to work harder (open evening class). Both the big boss and client really driven by profit (money) to the extent that they didn't care about:
- other people (trainers & students well-being)
- creating a healthy environment in the office
- the rules (more than 30 students in one class)

As a result, I felt dissapointed and upset. I must admit that in the past few days I got angry more easily.

These pressures affected our manager. He was "trapped" in between. I think on one hand, he felt guilt for breaking the rules and witnessing the trainers worked tirelessly in teaching more students that we should. And on the other hand, he couldn't do anything as it is boss' order to continue with it. My manager got 3 boils (bisul) in the past 2 weeks! He went to a doctor and the doctor told him that it occured as a result of stress. He took so many types of medicine, from ginger, pain-reliever, and antibiotic. He always wore jacket because he felt feverish, and he told me that he had sleepless nights. It is very sad to see him in this kind of situation.

The other trainer started to ask question whether I feel bored with the job because I think she feels so.

There are some other things also that make the situation more complicated and I think too complicated to be told here, but bottom line is... the situation is quite discouraging...

I struggled a lot...

Before I went to work I would pray, talk to God, let Him know what I feel and what I think... and ask His help and strength that I could survive through these...
And... He answered.
On one morning during my prayer time, I suddenly reminded to a song titled "The Faithful One"

Then I pondered about God's faithfulness.
Heavenly Father has faithfully gave His only begotten Son as a sacrifice to save the world. Jesus has faithfully left heaven, incarnate into human *the infinite became finite, limited by flesh, time, sickness, sorrow, etc*. Jesus was not just born to the world. Throughout His life, He faithfully preached, teached, and healed. He faithfully walked throught the agony of:
-physical pain (tortured, crowned by thorns, hanged on the cross)
-psychological embarassment (rejection by his own family members, mockery, spitted by others)
-the spiritual struggles (a sinless God became sinful not by His own but by our sin, to the extent that the sentence "My God, My God, why has Thou forsaken me?" came out of His mouth)
Jesus faithfully did the Heavenly Father's will to die on the cross, rose again, gone up to Heaven and send us a helper -the Holy Spirit- to take His role until He came for the second time.

GOD WAS, IS, AND WILL BE FAITHFUL. That is unquestionable.

Yes, Lord. Not by my strength, but by Your power. Not by my knowledge, but by Your wisdom. Not my my limited resources, but by Your Divine resources of love, peace, joy, and grace. Help me to be faithful in doing Your will in my life.
I believe that this job is a responsibility that You have given me and still ask me to do.

I will endure... until one day You send me for other "mission".

Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness that enabled me to be faithful. It IS still TOUGH... but "I CAN do EVERYTHING through YOU who gives me STRENGTH" (Philippians 4:13)

I find no hope within to call my own
For I am frail of heart, my strength is gone
But deep within my soul is rising up a song
Here in the comfort of the faithful one

I walk a narrow road through valleys deep
In search of higher ground, on mountains steep
And though with feet unsure, I still keep pressing on.
For I am guided by the faithful one.

Faithful, faithful to the end,
My true and precious friend,
You have been faithful,
Faithful, so faithful to me

I see your wounded hands, I touch your side
With thorns upon your brow you bled and died
But there's an empty tomb, a love for all who come
And give their hearts to you, the faithful one.

Faithful, faithful to the end,
My true and precious friend,
You have been faithful,
Faithful, so faithful to me

And when the day is dawned and when the race is run
I will bow down before God's only Son
And I will lift my hands in praise for all you've done
And I will worship you, my faithful one.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Expect the Unexpected at An Unexpected Expectation

International Evangelical Church Singapore Christmas Celebration 2009...

Monday, November 23, 2009

The Art of Being Well

It was posted on my office's notice board since the early days when the office first started. And I think it is worth sharing :) with a little notes from me *in orange*... to show relationship between physical, emotional, and spiritual realms of human being.

The Art of Being Well

Dr. Dráuzio Varella

If you don’t want to be ill...
...Speak your feelings.

Emotions and feelings that are hidden, repressed, end in illnesses as: gastritis, ulcer, lumbar pains, spinal. With time, the repression of the feelings degenerates to the cancer. Then, we go to a confidante, to share our intimacy, ours "secret", our errors! The dialogue, the speech, the word, is a powerful remedy and an excellent therapy!

*I usually let my thoughts, feelings, opinion, sin, my everything, be known by GOD through prayers along the day. He is my confidante!

If you don’t want to be ill...
...Make Decisions.

The undecided person remains in doubt, in anxiety, in anguish. Indecision accumulates problems, worries and aggressions. Human history is made of decisions. To decide is precisely to know to renounce, to know to lose advantages and values to win others. The undecided people are victims of gastric ailments, nervous pains and problems of the skin.

*Some questions I usually ask to make it easier to make decision:
- Is it necessary? If no, no need. If yes, go the next question.
- Is it good? If yes, go to the next one.
- Is it right/true? If yes, then yes. If no, then no.

If you don’t want to be ill...
...Find Solutions.

Negative people do not find solutions and they enlarge problems. They prefer lamentation, gossip, pessimism. It is better to light a match that to regret the darkness. A bee is small, but produces one of the sweetest things that exist. We are what we think. The negative thought generates negative energy that is transformed into illness.

*Be positive! My high school friend nickname me "NT". It stands for negative thinker... Since then I evaluated myself and train my self to think and to be positive. Try to bring positive impacts towards others.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." Phil 4:8

If you don’t want to be ill...
...Don’t Live By Appearances.

Who hides reality, pretends , poses and always wants to give the impression of being well. He wants to be seen as perfect, easy-going, etc. but is accumulating tons of weight. A bronze statue with feet of clay. There is nothing worse for the health than to live on appearances and facades. These are people with a lot of varnish and little root. Their destiny is the pharmacy, the hospital and pain.

*Still have to learn a lot about this because sometimes I just try to appear strong in front of people when actually I am weak.
"I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind..." Jeremiah 17:10

If you don’t want to be ill...

The refusal of acceptance and the absence of self-esteem, make us alienate ourselves. Being at one with ourselves is the core of a healthy life. They who do not accept this, become envious, jealous, imitators, ultra-competitive, destructive. Be accepted, accept that you are accepted, accept the criticisms. It is wisdom, good sense and therapy.

*When I was a kid & teenage, I was obese. My weight once reached 75 kg. Other kids said hurtful things to me. Plus, I could not pronounce 'r' correctly *I pronounce it as 'l' or no sound* People made fun of me. It really crushed my self-esteem. I was a very shy & introvert girl then. But since I accepted Jesus as my Savior and Lord, it was all changed. Christ, the King of kings, accepted me as who I was... a sinful and "ugly" person. It would be a foolish thing not to accept myself. And to realize that I was accepted means better ability to accepts my self... and eventually to accept others. Now, I'm a much more confident person. I can even stand in front of people and teach :)
"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God." Rome 15:7

If you don’t want to be ill...

Who does not trust, does not communicate, is not opened, is not related, does not create deep and stable relations, does not know to do true friendships. Without confidence, there is not relationship. Distrust is a lack of faith in you and in faith itself.

*"Trust in the Lord with all your heart..." Proverbs 3:5a

If you don’t want to be ill...
...Do Not Live Life Sad.

Good humor. Laughter. Rest. Happiness. These replenish health and bring long life. The happy person has the gift to improve the environment wherever they live. “Good humor saves us from the hands of the doctor". Happiness is health and therapy.

*I'm grateful to be born in a family that appreciate humors. My dad and youngest bro is the best! :)
"Laughter is not an escape from reality, it is an evidence that we understand reality and can cope with it... The ability to laugh at the right time and for the right reason is a gift from God that will do you more good than piles of pills and tons of therapy." -Warren Wiersbe. On Being a Servant of God.-
"A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Proverbs 17:22

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Join us! :)

I myself benefited a lot from BOOT CAMP and especially from every PLAY and THINK session that I attended. Some of them:
- I've been made aware of the utmost importance of reflection. It is vital to reflect. And we could actually reflect on ANYTHING. To reflect means to use our senses to observe. From the observation we generate learning points that we could apply next time. By applying the learning points we will improve our life each day.
Since I started to join TMA last August, I have forced myself to reflect at the very end of everyday.
-I've been made aware of the importance to find my vision in life, AND the ability to articulate it (not just in my mind only). And to based my vision by the right values. Pastor Glenn (my mentor) has a stack of folder on his vision, mission, life purpose statement, short-term and long-term planning, etc. Complete, man! Amazing! I'm still a long way to go on this...
-I also learnt some practical skills like facilitating games & small groups, how to do a presentation a framework, how to empower people through socrastic questions instead of didactic questions.
-And a lot more :)
So... what are you waiting for? Join us! :)

Friday, November 13, 2009

Souvenirs from Bandung

After more than one year, I finally went back my lovely hometown, Bandung, from 1-8 Nov :)

Now, let me unpack my bag and check whether I had souvenirs from Bandung...
Hmm... yup, I had quite a lot :)

Souvenir 1
Lord, thank you for the Revival Meeting I attended that once again reminded me about death. I was asked two questions about death:
The first question was "Are you afraid of death?"
To answer this question, I would say, "No, I'm not, because even if I die, I know for sure that I will be with the Lord in the best place."
The second question was "If you have to die now, are you ready?"
Logically speaking, if I'm not afraid of death, I should have answered "Yes" for this question. But somehow I couldn't feel confidence to answer "Yes", because in my mind and in my heart I believe that I haven't lived my life to the fullest. I haven't done well what God has called me to be and to do.
The second question has been a small wake-up call for me to start to take action of what I'm going to do in my future... I keep on praying that everything will go well according to HIS plan.

Went home from Revival Meeting to find a shocking news that one of my dogs has gone blind! Both eyes!T.T

Souvenir 2
Had a rare chance to gather with the complete set of my extended family from my Mom's side! :) Many of them intentionally came to Bandung. All of us went to photo studio and took pictures! That was the first studio photo I had since I moved to Sg 3 years ago.
I still believe that family members are the best people for me to be with. I felt safe... I felt love... I felt protection... and I felt that I didn't need to put a lot of efforts to bond with them again eventhough we haven't met for so long... it just happened naturally...

Souvenir 3
Went to doctor to consult on my blocked and runny nose that had been going on for 1 month. He gave me two kinds of medicine and gave me 2 advise to improve my immune system (the lack of it has resulted to the prolonged blocked nose):
First, not to sleep very late (which I always did in Sg). I usually went to sleep between 2-2.30am.
First, not to go on a diet. Well, I wasn't not really on a diet, but I think the problem is I have not eaten enough healthy food. I eat a lot, but not much nutrition on the food I consumed in Sg.
What the doctor said to me has made me thinking whether I had been taken good care of my health when I was in Sg. Well, I didn't think so. It seemed that I had difficulties take care of my health if I'm far away from my parents. Last year when I went back to Bandung, I got quite bad uric acid (asam urat) and high cholesterol >.<
Since I came back to Sg on 8 Nov, I have been trying to sleep early. About food, it's still quite difficult for me to get healthy food here... On the process to live a healthy lifestyle...

Souvenir 4
When nobody couldn't drive me to where I wanted to go, I would take taxi, therefore I had a chance to chat with some taxi drivers.
There was one common theme on what they would talk about: They would "complain" that nowadays it is very difficult to earn for a living. Two main factors that contributed to it are competition with other taxi provider and traffic jams.
Along the way, I would ask them about their family. It somehow make them realized that things haven't gone so bad as their family still afford basic needs as foods, house, and clothes. They even still be able to afford the school tuition fee! Well, not that bad, rite? Maybe we should reflect on what we have before we start to complain :)
I hope in the future I could meet people like them and help them realize to be thankful of the things they have instead of complaining because of the great things that they did not have...

Souvenir 5
My friend's wedding! One of the happiest moment in my life :)
It gave me a chance to welcome some friends to come to Bandung.
Well... I'm very very very proud of Bandung! Nice weather... reasonable price... friendly people... good food... :D

Well... there are some of the souvenirs I took from Bandung...

After the refreshing and recharging moment in Bandung, I went back to Sg to find myself loving my job more. Just luv it and enjoy it. And I also learn to spend time with GOD more. I slept earlier, woke up earlier, and double up my quiet times. Just nice!

What a worth getaway :D

Monday, October 26, 2009

My Heart Boiled When I Read This News.... Ministry of Foreign Affairs Must Do Something!

Abused Indonesian maid dies in Malaysia: police

Abused Indonesian maid dies in Malaysia: police

KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) - – An Indonesian maid who was allegedly severely beaten by her Malaysian employers, and then bound and locked up in a toilet for two days, has died in hospital, police said Monday.

A Malaysian market vendor and his wife have been arrested over the abuse of 36-year-old Mautik Hani from Surabaya, in the latest in a series of cases that have prompted Indonesia to temporarily ban sending domestic workers here.

The neighbours are negotiating a deal on salaries and conditions aimed at preventing mistreatment of maids, who currently have no legal safeguards on their working conditions.

"I can confirm that Mautik Hani has died in hospital," district police chief Mohamad Mat Yusop told AFP.

"We have to wait for the hospital's report on her cause of death before deciding on the next course of action regarding her employers. They are still being detained," he added.

Hani was rescued from her employers' home a week ago. She was found by another Indonesian cleaner hired to replace her who noticed a foul smell coming from a locked bathroom.

Police said that when she was found she was tied up around her arms and legs, and was bruised all over her body. Among her injuries were a serious wound to the right leg that exposed the bone.

Local papers reported Hani had been abused by her employers almost daily during the two months she worked at their home.

One of Asia's largest importers of labour, Malaysia depends heavily on domestic workers, mainly from Indonesia, but has been criticised for not passing legislation to govern their rights and conditions.

In May, the government announced plans for new laws to protect domestic workers from sexual harassment, non-payment of wages and poor working conditions.

Indonesian maids typically work seven days a week for as little as 400 ringgit (113 dollars) a month.

Life as per 26 Oct 09

I'm supposed to do something else, but cannot resist the urge to blog. Feel guilty after abandoning it for about 3 weeks :p
Life now.... is wonderful. Enjoying it :)

Currently living in S'rangoon.
The owner only turn on the aircon from 10.30pm to 6am.

The house is so clean. Rental fee are much cheaper. The owner is very nice. Closer to my workplace (can get up later compared to when I stayed at AMK).

Work runs normally.
One of my colleague will leave the company this week.

Am loving my job. And loving the people I teach.

Loving all the sessions of The Mentoring Academy.
Trying to articulate my life mission statement. Getting inspired by Pastor Glenn Lim (my mentor) in every session. Hope to become an inspiration someday.
Will be getting involved more.

Just started a Small Group with Dyna.
Finally... a prayer answered.
Quite discouraging to see only 3 people turned out
(excluding me & Dyna).

Really grateful to GOD for a partner like Dyna.
It was a good session, because although it was the first time we gathered as a group, the level of the sharing content is deeper than I expected.

Last but not least... Preparing to go back to Indo! :D
Preparing my heart to talk with my parents regarding the plan to study further, hopefully next year...

Once again, thanking GOD for the opportunity to live the true life in HIM!

A "Spiritual Giant" That Has Been A Source of Inspiration for A Woman That Has Been An Inspiration For Me

by Amy Carmichael
Amy Carmichael’s Confession of Love

My Vow
Whatsoever Thou sayest unto me, by Thy grace I will do it.

My Constraint
Thy love, O Christ, my Lord.

My Confidence
Thou art able to keep that which I have committed unto Thee.

My Joy
To do Thy will, O God.

My Discipline
That which I would not choose, but which Thy love appoints.

My Prayer
Conform my will to Thine.

My Motto
Love to live, live to love.

My Portion
The Lord is the portion of mine inheritance.

Teach us, good Lord, to serve Thee as Thou deservest;
to give and not to count the cost;
to fight and not to heed the wounds;
to toil and not to seek for rest;
to labor and not to ask for any reward
save that of knowing that we do Thy will, O Lord our God.


Quoted from
The Life and Legacy of Amy Carmichael—A Chance to Die
written by Elisabeth Elliot.
This was Amy Carmichael’s Confession of Love.
Amy Carmichael (1867-1951) was an Irish missionary to India.
She spent fifty-three years in South India without furlough.
She was known as “Amma” or “mother” by the hundreds of children that she
rescued from moral danger and raised to love and know Jesus Christ.
Amy was a Godly woman who gave her life unreservedly to serve the Lord.

Hope you understand the title :)

A woman that has been an inspiration for me = Elisabeth Elliot

Thursday, October 1, 2009

King of My Mind, My Heart, My Life

Wow.... What a king!
And what a privilege to have HIM as my King! :)

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Who Am I

Baru balik dari Kesaksian "Masa Depan Bumi". *Pa Radiman bersikeras kalo ini bukan seminar :P*
Wow... speechless... dunno what to say...
Baru menyadari betapa BESARnya jagad raya ini dan betapa keciiiillllllllnya manusia yang tinggal di bumi. Ga bisa digambarin. Terlalu luar biasa.
Oh Lord, I feel so insignificant... I feel like nothing...
YOU, GOD that creates the universe. The unfathomable GOD.

Menyadari betapa HIDUP itu suatu anugerah yang mengagumkan.
Di antara jagad raya yang luar biasa besarnya ini, TUHAN pilih bumi sebagai SATU-SATUNYA planet dimana manusia bisa hidup.

Bumi, yang kecilllll sekali jika dibandingkan dengan bintang-bintang....
Bumi, yang intinya adalah magma super panas, tapi dilapisi oleh permukaan selebar 40 km supaya manusia bisa tinggal....
Bumi, yang sebenarnya kapan saja bisa hancur karena tabrakan komet, KAU lindungi dengan Jupiter sebagai perisai...
Bumi, yang bisa hangus karena semburan kecil matahari... yang bisa kiamat karena badai es...

Oh, betapa rapuhnya keberadaan manusia... dan betapa hebatnya pemeliharaan Allah atasnya...

Sungguh, keberadaan manusia di bumi tidak mungkin sebuah kecelakaan.
Ada tujuan. PASTI ada tujuan.
SEMUA MANUSIA harus sadar akan hal ini. Mereka HARUS DISADARKAN bahwa mereka dicipatakan oleh Sang Pencipta dengan suatu TUJUAN. Manusia tidak boleh hidup sembarangan.

Suatu hari bumi akan berakhir. Dan hari penghakiman akan datang. TIDAK ADA yang bisa menerka. Bisa terjadi KAPAN saja.

Semuanya ini mengingatkan saya akan apa yang dikatakan Kitab Yakobus....
4:13 Jadi sekarang, hai kamu yang berkata: "Hari ini atau besok kami berangkat ke kota anu, dan di sana kami akan tinggal setahun dan berdagang serta mendapat untung",
4:14 sedang kamu tidak tahu apa yang akan terjadi besok. Apakah arti hidupmu? Hidupmu itu sama seperti uap yang sebentar saja kelihatan lalu lenyap.
4:15 Sebenarnya kamu harus berkata: "Jika Tuhan menghendakinya, kami akan hidup dan berbuat ini dan itu."

Dan mengingatkan saya atas sebuah lagu...

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,

A wave tossed in the ocean,

A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Go to Brigde

Go to Chorus

Go to Bridge

Go to Chorus.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am yours.
I am yours.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Yasmin Ahmad: A Tribute

I have talked a lot about Yasmin Ahmad in this post.
Sad to say, she passed away last July... A huge loss to M'sia & S'pore...
Reminded of her again after a couple of days ago I saw this ad in a newspaper.
There will be a tribute for her. One cinema here will screen her movies.
Never seen her movie before and, of course, considering to go to the screening.

You could also watch below video for more info about her:


Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Death or Pain?

During lunch time today I read a news regarding a death of an Australian quadriplegic (def: paralysis of all four limbs usually as a result of injury to the spine) who won a landmark legal battle to starve himself to death by refusing food.

I found one statement from him that's really mind-boggling:
"I'm Christian Rossiter and I'd like to die. I am a prisoner in my own body. I can't move, I have no fear of death -- just pain. I only fear pain."

Lots of questions went through my mind after I read it.

Is pain more frightening than death?
Why didn't he feel fearful of death? Was it because he believed that there was nothing after death? Or was it because he believed that he would definitely go to heaven? Did he even believe that heaven and hell exist?

Could fear of pain be used as a justification to end his own life?
Who owns life? Where did he think life came from that he thought that he could take control of his life (and death)?


One question lead to another one that lead to another one....
So on and on and on...

In search for answers...

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Live in Peace. (L.I.P) *not R.I.P :p*

That is how I have been in the past 2 weeks.

Based on my current situation, I've been trying to think some bad scenarios that might happen to me in the future (eventhough I'm not supposed to)
Well... the conclusion is... What should I fear of? What bad thing that could happen to me?
Unemployment? It just prove that GOD gives me more time to be quiet, to search the Truth more deeply, and to set my eyes more to other people. Anyway, I have been there. And I enjoyed every moment of it.
No money as the result of being jobless? I still have family in Bandung that would accept me as who I am. And I could just start a new chapter of life there.

What else that I could think of?
Suffering? Sickness? Loneliness? My experiences with those kind of things just made me closer to GOD as well as grew in faith & hope in HIM
Persecution from people around me? Not afraid. I will hang on to GOD. Just do what HE wants me to do. In the end all people will see how great is my GOD.
Death? Even death is considered gain for me :) Well.. if I could choose, I would choose to live. But... "my times are in Your hands" (Psalm 31: 15a)

How can I come to this state of peace?
Read Bible. Read good books. Don't read rubbish.
And reflect on what we read.

These are a few (from many many many) important and useful things that I learned from reading:
1. Psalm 56:3 says "When I am afraid, I will trust in you." But, Isaiah 12:2 is better to say: "Surely God is my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid" (this one thanks to Pastor Warren Wiersbe)
Trust first, then I won't be afraid. But, even if I feel afraid, there's a way out, which is to trust in HIM. Amazing rite? I'm currently in the process to trust everything in God's hands. All I need to do is obey.
2. As usual, Elisabeth Elliot has always been my inspiration! I'll quote her again: "We are meddling with God's business when we let all manner of imagining loose, predicting disaster, contemplating possibilities instead of following, on day at a time, God's plain and simple pathway. "As thy days so shall thy strength be" (Deuteronomy 33:25). God knows how to apportion each one's strength according to that day's need. Faithfulness today is the best preparation for the demands for tomorrow."

Apart from reading... Listen to good songs. Hymns & worship songs. Don't listen to rubbish.
I would just close my eyes and let myself absorb every word to be my prayer to GOD.

Well... it is too good to be true. Therefore I believe GOD is preparing me for something "big". Most probably a huge storm. Hmm... let's see...
For now, I would just equip myself with 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

How beautiful a life lived in, with, and for GOD! :)

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Living Victoriously - IEC Singapore Revival Meeting

3 Oct - in Bahasa only
4 Oct - in Bahasa & Mandarin

One Soul

A Christian should never believe in coincidence.

No, it's not a coincidence.
It is absolutely an opportunity given to me to share the Good News.
One opportunity taken.
One soul won.
Praise the LORD!
Revival in my spiritual state.
Thank you, LORD!
Next, the Revival Meetings! Onward! Yosh! :)

Friday, September 11, 2009

Seminar "Masa Depan Bumi"

Benarkan Bumi kita akan berakhir tahun 2012 seperti yang diramalkan suku Maya? Secara scientific Seminar ini akan memaparkan keadaan Bumi menjelang 2012 dan tahun-tahun mendatang. Bumi dengan 6,8 milyar manusia berada dalam keadaan irreversible state dimana kerusakan lingkungan akibat aktivitas manusia yang tidak bertanggung jawab. Hal ini mengakibatkan bumi yang dahulu nyaman ditinggali, kini menjadi buruk. Tanda-tanda kerusakan bumi datang dari iklim yang setiap saat berubah dan tidak dapat diprediksi serta global warming dimana kenaikan suhu muka bumi mencapai 1ºC dan diperkirakan meningkat 3ºC di tahun 2030.Dunia saat ini bukanlah dunia sebagaimana dahulu mula-mula diciptakan. Kita menyaksikan eskalasi bencana-bencana alam yang semakin terakumulasi menggambarkan ketidakberdayaan manusia. Apakah yang akan terjadi di kemudian hari?

Seminar "Masa Depan Bumi" akan diadakan pada:
Waktu: Sabtu, 26/09/2009 pkl 17.00-19.00
Tempat: YMS Arts Centre Level 2 - 54 Waterloo St. S187953 (Choral Studio)
Speaker: Pnt. DR. Iratius Radiman, Associate Professor, Institute Teknologi Bandung

Be there. It's coming sooner than you think...

Untuk kalangan tersendiri.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

A Change in Me

Another post for today! ^.^

Well... this weekend I took a lot of time alone.

Yesterday, after half-day work, I went home, had lunch, clean carpet, took a nap *for 3 hours! Haha*, read books *for 3 hours also! what a privilege!*
Today I went home early from church. Read books *again! Haha... Yea... just can't get enough of it! so thirsty la...)

And of course... more time alone means more time to reflect about anything that I could reflect of... (it's a good habit! I would encourage all of you to reflect and write journals - everyday - in the midst of this hectic life)

And... I reflect about why lately I talked less, generally, but especially at home...
When I arrived at home, I dun wanna talk, just wanna read books, write journals, go online, and sleep... no talk. *this is started by the conversation with my room mate a few days ago*
And... why I lately rejected some invitation to hang-out...

I think... think... and think... and came out to a conclusion that... it's because of my current job.
It's about BALANCE.
At work, I did a lot of talk. I teached. Almost talk the whole day. And afterwork, of course, I'm getting tired of talking :p
On the contrary, my roommate is an Accountant. Her work doesn't need her to talk. That's why after work she really wants to talk.
So... in our bedroom... she would do the talk... and i would be quiet. Haha.

Yup. Life. Must have balance.
There's a time to go out and meet people. But there's also time to be alone.
There's a time to talk. There's also time to listen.

Well.. as simple as that..
Keep the balance, guys!

Process & Purpose

"The older you get, the tougher life is..."

Just reflected on the past week...
Struggling with the new responsibility at work, the "Mission Impossible" .
Why struggling? First, it's boring. Really.
I prefer to do my previous responsibilities. I would be able to meet lots of different people in need and I know that I made a difference in their lives.

This new responsibility? I must teach the same people everyday. Teach the same thing.
The worst part is... All of us realized that it is impossible to pass the assessment. No, this is not a negative thought. This is actually based on facts & experiences. How could you expect a Malay-speaker to pass a Bahasa Indonesia assessment while the Indonesian themselves cannot pass?!?!
The people I teach now are very reluctant to learn. They just do it because the boss asked them to.
Very discouraging...

But... it didn't stop there...

"The older you get, the tougher life is...." It's true.
"But that is how life supposed to be if you want to grow. The tougher it is, the more lesson you learn"

Well... here is what I learned:
1. Process
It is the process that matters most. Just enjoy it.
Results will depend on other people's assessment, but as long as I do my best, no regret eventhough I have to bear the consequences of failing (scolded? pushed to resign?).
Yup, I will feel sad or down, but not regret, coz I have given the best according to my abilities & experiences. And you know what? These 5 past days the office has been merrier (coz more people from other office came to be taught). And... I could build relationship with the people that I was not closed with previously... And... I got to try so many new kind of food! (they really know how to eat! Haha)

2. Purpose
It is easy to feel bored. But I learned that even the things that seem routine or small ALSO happened for a reason... serve a higher purpose...
This thought came up to me when I read through a book in my quiet time. It says "God has divine purposes to accomplish in this world... There is nothing in this world that is outside the influence of the purposes of God" (Warren W. Wiersbe)
WOW. It means: EVERY ACTION counts! Every action serves a purpose! And for most of the time I just forgot this truth!
I got up... brushed my teeth... took a bath... had breakfast... waited for the bus... on the way to work... arrived at office... clocked in my time... teached... finished work... went home... slept...
Seems very everyday thing and boring rite? But if I change my perspective, it does make a huge difference in my life.
If, for example, when I brush my teeth, I make myself realize that it would help me to be more confident in smiling and talking with people...
If, for example, when I have breakfast, I make myself think that it will give me the strength I need to teach more energetically so that the students will respond more positively to what I teach...
Could you see the difference? Yup. I will do it happily and seriously (coz it has a purpose!).
Well... the struggle now is to constantly remind myself that every action - even the smallest one - serves a purpose. And the ultimate purpose is: to glorify God.
Not easy, I believe. But even a struggle serves a purpose, doesn't it? :)

3. I missed my previous responsibilities so much! Thank God He let me do it again yesterday. And it was a wonderful class, coz they asked so many questions and we have quite a lot of discussion (just an ideal class I would have!)

As a closing, I would like to quote a prayer that I found out yesterday on the way to work (a help that is in time!):

"Almighty God, we bless and praise Thee that we have wakened to the light of another earthly day; and now we will think of what a day should be. Our days are Thine, let them be spent for Thee. Our days are few; let them be spent with care.

There are dark days behind us: forgive their sinfulness. There may be dark days before us: strengthen us for their trials. We pray Thee to shine on us this day - the day which we may call our own.

Lord, we go to our daily work; help us to be faithful in doing it. Let all we do be well done, fit for Thine eye to see. Give us strength to do, patience to bear; let our courage never fail.

When we cannot love our work, let us think of it as Thy task and by our true love to Thee, make unlovely things shine in the light of Thy great love. Amen. "

-George Dawson (1821-1876)-

(taken from "Secure in the Everlasting Arms" by Elisabeth Elliot)

Sunday, August 30, 2009


Wew... missing my blog so much...

In the past 3 Sundays I've been attending parenting workshop.
What was I doing in a parenting workshop? Yah... prepare to be parents lah... One day I will become one what? :p *aiyoo... the Singlish...*
The workshop is about parenting to the youth. It was AMAZING. I get to know lots of things about youth and how to empower them. Btw, I'm in training to be a Youth Mentor now. Really thankful for GOD that He provides me this opportunity. It's a prayer answered. I've always passionate about Youth Ministry. Since I started my ministry 9 years ago, it has always been related to teenage or youth. Why? Coz it's a dynamic ministry and coz I long to see them live their life fully since they were young.

Work life? Still passionate on teaching. Imparting knowledge and inspiring people. That is one thing that strengthen me... in the midst of 'storm' in the office...
Oh LORD, help me, especially with this 'mission impossible' that they gave me starting tomorrow >.<>

Quite sad coz tomorrow two people that is close to me will be leaving Singapore...
LORD, I leave them into YOUR hands... I believe you will take care of them, bless them, guide them, strengthen them, enlight them, and use them for YOUR glory alone.

Hoping that the weeks ahead will be less busy...
Desperately need a Rest & Relax time... When ah?
Arrrgghh... must sleep more...
*eating more is not a problem :p* and must have time to take care of yourself!

Feeling that 24 hours is not enough. Always have too much books to read, things to do, experiences to reflect about, people to talk to, needs to meet...
Ok, Ita! Stop right there! Don't get trapped by your feeling! You just need to manage your time better. Ask GOD for wisdom.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


The message today was so simple yet profound:

Thanks, LORD. Me trying hard to apply.
In the midst of uncertainty and difficulty,
let me focus on YOU. No distraction.

I... will never be forsaken.
And YOU... YOU provides.
May YOUR promises be rooted in my HEART and in my MIND, so I could stand firm in this storm of life.
I believe that honey will come out of the rock (Psalm 81: 16).
Sweetness will come out of hardness in life.

Monday, August 17, 2009


Lesson 1:
Teenage/youths need acceptance. Accept them of who they are as a person, not because of what they do or how they perform.

Lesson 2:
Just be there for them... Be there.

Lesson 3:
"In tough times, home is the safest place to be."
The question is: What is 'home' according to them?
Home is a safe place. Free from judgment, intimidation, threats and distrust.
Can we provide it? Can parents?

Saturday, August 1, 2009


In a boot camp I attended today, all of us was asked to write down about who is our favourite superhero or hero is, and everything we wanted to tell the group about him/her. Mine was like this:

A hero for me is an ordinary person who does extraordinary things. A person who knows himself well, his strengths & weaknesses. A person who fully accepts the things he could not change and always do the best to improve the things he could change. Feel contented of life, and out of this contentment he begins to see others, what other people's needs are, and use all he has to help others. Some gestures he does, for some people seems ordinary, but for the people he helps it is extraordinary.
And he is my Dad.

PS: We were asked to write with our non-master hand (meaning that I wrote with my left hand) because it is believed that writing with non-master hand opened the gate to the unconscious mind and as a result we would write something different compared if we write with our master hand. And it also explain why it was so short :p

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Londonderry Air / I Cannot Tell

I cannot tell why He Whom angels worship,
Should set His love upon the sons of men,
Or why, as Shepherd, He should seek the wanderers,
To bring them back, they know not how or when.
But this I know, that He was born of Mary
When Bethlehem’s manger was His only home,
And that He lived at Nazareth and laboured,
And so the Saviour,
Saviour of the world is come.
I cannot tell how silently He suffered,
As with His peace He graced this place of tears,
Or how His heart upon the cross was broken,
The crown of pain to three and thirty years.
But this I know, He heals the brokenhearted,
And stays our sin, and calms our lurking fear,
And lifts the burden from the heavy laden,
For yet the Saviour, Saviour of the world is here.
I cannot tell how He will win the nations,
How He will claim His earthly heritage,
How satisfy the needs and aspirations
Of East and West, of sinner and of sage.
But this I know, all flesh shall see His glory,
And He shall reap the harvest He has sown,
And some glad day His sun shall shine in splendour
When He the Saviour, Saviour of the world is known.
I cannot tell how all the lands shall worship,
When, at His bidding, every storm is stilled,
Or who can say how great the jubilation
When all the hearts of men with love are filled.
But this I know, the skies will thrill with rapture,
And myriad, myriad human voices sing,
And earth to Heaven, and Heaven to earth, will answer:
At last the Saviour, Saviour of the world is King

Listen to this music at Service today, played by the pianist for Introid.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

On Creating Awareness

I sometimes admire Sg govt's serious efforts in creating awareness or encouraging its residence to do something desired by the govt (Note that it's govt! Not international organisations or private/multinational companies). I mean... I do really think that Indon govt must learn from Sg on this matter. Some advertisements really have either simple & clear message or touching/inspiring scenes or words...

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Dead Sea Scrolls & the Ancient World (An Exhibition)

I am so going! Man, Singapore rocks! :p

Monday, July 6, 2009

Ko Anes

The political analyst in batik is my cousin! (notice that we have 'almost same' surname. Hehe) I call him Ko Anes (Yohanes).
I'm so proud of him! :)
Never talked to him since about 14 years ago, coz he went to US and almost never went back to Bandung (hometown). Earned his Ph.D. in Political Science under the supervision of the very prominent Indonesianist, Prof. R. William Liddle.
Chatted with him through Facebook yesterday (finally after 14 years... but I think he forgot about me. Haha). Caught up with him on what we are doing now. It was great! I feel very connected to him eventhough we haven't been in contact for ages.
Turn out that we had common passion: Political Science/International Relations and GOD :) But different emphasize. He is more to Politics and I'm more to Theology :p

Glad to know that he is now back for good (Bandung & Jakarta), and will contribute to Indonesian political scene with his newly-established research organization. Wish him all the best for his future!

PS: He is still single! :D Anyone interested?

Sunday, July 5, 2009


Hmm... starting to feel the heat of a burn out.
Feel bored with my job.
Feel that I deserve better...

Feel bored with Facebook also :p

Tried to find something new to do.

And I found some:
1. Visit Sg Visitor Centre and plan a tour for my parents. They will come here this week!
And we will also go to Genting & KL!!! Woohoo!!!
Just the break I need to have right now.
Hopefully I'll come back here refreshed.
2. Thinking about which candidate should I choose for the upcoming Indonesian Presidential Election. Quite confusing... and, for a while, considering to be 'golongan putih' (do not choose any candidate). Oh no, what happened to me? I used to oppose 'golongan putih'. I remember having a heated debate with my close friend regarding 'golongan putih'. The lecturer discussed about it, then asked the students what we thought about it. My friend raised her hand and tell the class that 'golongan putih' was acceptable. She had her own reason. And I was like suddenly (without raising my hand) shout, "No, it's not! Because bla bla bla...". And for a couple of minutes we 'exchanged ideas' :) It was so hot that I heard other students were either cheered or booed for every statement we made. Till in the end the lecturer stopped us and told the class that it was still a debate and every person was entitled to their own opinion. Haha... one unforgettable moment during my university time.
3. A little bit research on my future school... which I found very fun to do. But... quite discouraging to see the expenses :( Except the school in Indonesia :)

Sunday, June 28, 2009


Last week was the worst week I had in my current workplace.
I was hurt. Deeply hurt.
Feel betrayed.
I trust him. I even went to the extent that I was telling him my future plan (where some of my closest family members & friends do not know about this!)
And as a result, he was gossiping about me? Telling lies about me to all the others?
Please, man... I've NEVER come to a decision that I'm resigning. I was CONSIDERING! And I asked for your opinion! You have betrayed my trust.
I was OFFERED the job! Not applied for it!
And I NEVER ask for salary-raise. I think I have made myself clear on this!

I was so angry. Was struggling to go to work. Praying so hard.

But GOD was so good. The day I decided to stay in this company (instead of what happened), GOD talked to me through Prayer Meeting: "So when the Samaritans came to him (Jesus), they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days." (John 4:40).
Pa Jahja (the preacher) mentioned that GOD sometimes would tell people: "You should stay longer." Hearing him saying that really strengthen me. I know it's GOD talking to me.
Remember that I promised GOD that I will go wherever GOD wants me to go and I will stay wherever GOD wants me to stay? Yup, this time GOD wants me to stay.

And thank you, LORD, for reminding me of the song "It is Well With My Soul". It's been a great strength and consolation for me while going through this "storm".

And LORD, there is still the urge in me to confront him. It is dangerous. Please grant me self-control & wisdom. Please!
I am weak. Very weak. But YOU are strong.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

It Is Well With My Soul

It Is Well With My Soul (full version)

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.


My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!


For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.


But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!


And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.


The hymn "It is Well with My Soul" becomes closest to heart for one undergoing grief. Written by a Presbyterian laywer Horatio G. Spafford (1828-1888) and composed by Philip P. Bliss (1838-1876), this deeply touching gospel song has long been loved.

The scripture reference is Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."

Text Author and Hymn-Writer Horatio G. Spafford

Spafford was born on October 20, 1828 in North Troy, New York. He was a successful lawyer in Chicago who maintained a keen interest in Christian activities, deeply spiritual and devoted to the scriptures.

Chicago Fire and a Son's LossSometime in 1871, a fire in Chicago heavily devastated the city, and months before that , Spafford had invested hugely in real estate by the shore of Lake Michigan. The disaster greatly wiped out his holdings. Before the fire, Spafford also experienced the loss of his son.

A Calm and Worst Life Storm

Two years after the fire, Horatio Spafford planned a trip to Europe for him and his family. He wanted a rest for his wife and four daughters, and also to assist Moody and Sankey in one of their evangelistic campaigns in Great Britain. He was not meant to travel with his family. The day in November they were due to depart, Spafford had a last minute business transaction and had to stay behind in Chicago. Nevertheless, he still sent his wife and four daughters to travel as scheduled on the S.S. Ville du Havre, expecting to follow in a few days. On November 22, the ship laden with his wife and daughters was struck by the Lockhearn, an English vessel, and sank in few minutes.

Wife "Saved Alone"

After the survivors were finally landed somewhere at Cardiff, Wales, Spafford's wife cabled her husband with two simple words, "Saved alone." Shortly after, Spafford left by ship on his way where his beloved four daughters had drowned, and pen at hand, wrote this most poignant text so significantly descriptive of his own personal grief – "When sorrows like sea billows roll..." The hymn "It is Well with My Soul" was born.

It is Well with My Soul

It is noteworthy that Horatio Spafford did not dwell on the theme of life's sorrows and trials, instead, focused in the third stanza on the redemptive work of Christ, and in the fourth verse, anticipates His glorious second coming. (Refer below for CyberHymnal's link)

Composer Philip Bliss

Philip P. Bliss, the hymn composer, was a prolific writer of gospel songs. He was so impressed with the experience and expression of Spafford's text that he shortly wrote the music for it, first published in one of the praise hymn book, Sankey-Bliss Hymnals, Gospel Hymns No. 2. Shortly after writing 'It is Well With My Soul,' Bliss died in a tragic train accident.

On reflection, it is divinely amazing that one could experience such personal tragedies and sorrows as did Horatio Spafford, yet, able to say with such convincing clarity, "It is well with my soul." It is an enormous challenge to embrace the significance of this hymn.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Happy Father's Day - A Letter to My Dad & Mom

Sebuah curahan hati dari anak yang jarang berkomunikasi dengan orangtuanya :p
Terinspirasi oleh Ko Hen (orang yang dipake Tuhan buat bawa saya pada keselamatan, dan yang menceritakan kisahnya menulis surat pada Papanya pada saat dia sekolah di seminari).
Selamat menikmati tulisan gua :)

Am wondering how would they respond to this letter....

Btw, pas lagi posting2... tiba2 inget lagu ini...