"Lord, I will go where ever YOU want me to go, and I will stay where ever YOU want me to stay."
18.06.09, L company
...
Partner (P): "What is your dream job?"
I: "Hmm, actually I'm planning to study full-time at SBC"
P: "When would it be? In six month?"
I: "I'm planning to enroll next year."
P: "Are you planning to get married?"
I: "Hmm... my first priority right now would be enrolling to Bible College." *Went through a lot of struggles to be able to say this :) Reading spiritual books really helps (esp. "Passion & Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot) Thanks, Lilis!*
P: "So, whatever job you are having now is only temporary?"
I: "Yes." *Do you think company will accept you if you say this? :p*
....
CEO: "So after that you will go for full time ministry?"
I: "Yes"
P: "You mean... like Isabel?"
I: "Yup"
CEO (to P): "Who is Isabel?"
P: "Her pastor."
I: "But right now our pastor is not Isabel. It's a couple."
P: "Yeah... I know... Hmm... Yeah... I could see that you will be like Isabel."
I: (smile)
P: "I could see that she is like a role model to you"
I: "Yea... she is the one that helped me to confirm my calling."
P: "Hmm... to which Bible College?"
I: "Mmm... I'm still not sure. Could be SBC, could be TTC, could be in Indonesia."
P: "How are you gonna fund your study? Church scholarship?"
I: "I still don't know. It will be 3 years full-time study, no income, and I cannot depend on my parents to help me. So I'm trying to save now. Hmm... I don't know... I just... try to walk with HIM day by day. I believe that if it is God's calling, He will provide." *Reading "Experiencing God" helps a lot. Thanks to Pa Jahja and Bu Jung2!*
....
CEO: "Why must full-time? Why not part-time?"
I: "I tried the part-time course, CCTE, and after I reconsider, I'm sure that my calling is for full time."
P: "Yup, I could see that you are called as full-timer."
I: "(smile) Thank you." *Another confirmation from another believer. Thanks, LORD!*
P: "Yea... a full-timer. And now... I think it's just a matter of time."
I: "Yea... it's just a matter of time..."
...
Yet, after this conversation, they still want me to try to talk to my boss. Ask me to resign from my company and, if my boss agree, ask my boss whether it is possible to let me go in 7 to 10 days after I resign.
I explained to them that it is almost impossible.
Yet, they still insisted that I try to talk to my boss.
Well...
Now I have so many questions in mind... so much uncertainties...
The question of the future is always puzzling...
And that is why what I require now is FAITH... to walk with GOD day by day... depend on HIM to lead me...
Through HIS Word, through prayers, through others believers, through circumstances...
I believe all will point to one thing... HIS will... And all I have to do is follow...
Step by step... day by day... with faith.
Help me, Lord.
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