Hurt

Last week was the worst week I had in my current workplace.
I was hurt. Deeply hurt.
Feel betrayed.
I trust him. I even went to the extent that I was telling him my future plan (where some of my closest family members & friends do not know about this!)
And as a result, he was gossiping about me? Telling lies about me to all the others?
Please, man... I've NEVER come to a decision that I'm resigning. I was CONSIDERING! And I asked for your opinion! You have betrayed my trust.
I was OFFERED the job! Not applied for it!
And I NEVER ask for salary-raise. I think I have made myself clear on this!

I was so angry. Was struggling to go to work. Praying so hard.

But GOD was so good. The day I decided to stay in this company (instead of what happened), GOD talked to me through Prayer Meeting: "So when the Samaritans came to him (Jesus), they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days." (John 4:40).
Pa Jahja (the preacher) mentioned that GOD sometimes would tell people: "You should stay longer." Hearing him saying that really strengthen me. I know it's GOD talking to me.
Remember that I promised GOD that I will go wherever GOD wants me to go and I will stay wherever GOD wants me to stay? Yup, this time GOD wants me to stay.

And thank you, LORD, for reminding me of the song "It is Well With My Soul". It's been a great strength and consolation for me while going through this "storm".

And LORD, there is still the urge in me to confront him. It is dangerous. Please grant me self-control & wisdom. Please!
I am weak. Very weak. But YOU are strong.

It Is Well With My Soul

It Is Well With My Soul (full version)

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blessed assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

Refrain

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

Refrain

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

Refrain

But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!
Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!

Refrain

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Refrain

The hymn "It is Well with My Soul" becomes closest to heart for one undergoing grief. Written by a Presbyterian laywer Horatio G. Spafford (1828-1888) and composed by Philip P. Bliss (1838-1876), this deeply touching gospel song has long been loved.

The scripture reference is Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble."

Text Author and Hymn-Writer Horatio G. Spafford

Spafford was born on October 20, 1828 in North Troy, New York. He was a successful lawyer in Chicago who maintained a keen interest in Christian activities, deeply spiritual and devoted to the scriptures.

Chicago Fire and a Son's LossSometime in 1871, a fire in Chicago heavily devastated the city, and months before that , Spafford had invested hugely in real estate by the shore of Lake Michigan. The disaster greatly wiped out his holdings. Before the fire, Spafford also experienced the loss of his son.

A Calm and Worst Life Storm

Two years after the fire, Horatio Spafford planned a trip to Europe for him and his family. He wanted a rest for his wife and four daughters, and also to assist Moody and Sankey in one of their evangelistic campaigns in Great Britain. He was not meant to travel with his family. The day in November they were due to depart, Spafford had a last minute business transaction and had to stay behind in Chicago. Nevertheless, he still sent his wife and four daughters to travel as scheduled on the S.S. Ville du Havre, expecting to follow in a few days. On November 22, the ship laden with his wife and daughters was struck by the Lockhearn, an English vessel, and sank in few minutes.

Wife "Saved Alone"

After the survivors were finally landed somewhere at Cardiff, Wales, Spafford's wife cabled her husband with two simple words, "Saved alone." Shortly after, Spafford left by ship on his way where his beloved four daughters had drowned, and pen at hand, wrote this most poignant text so significantly descriptive of his own personal grief – "When sorrows like sea billows roll..." The hymn "It is Well with My Soul" was born.

It is Well with My Soul

It is noteworthy that Horatio Spafford did not dwell on the theme of life's sorrows and trials, instead, focused in the third stanza on the redemptive work of Christ, and in the fourth verse, anticipates His glorious second coming. (Refer below for CyberHymnal's link)

Composer Philip Bliss

Philip P. Bliss, the hymn composer, was a prolific writer of gospel songs. He was so impressed with the experience and expression of Spafford's text that he shortly wrote the music for it, first published in one of the praise hymn book, Sankey-Bliss Hymnals, Gospel Hymns No. 2. Shortly after writing 'It is Well With My Soul,' Bliss died in a tragic train accident.

On reflection, it is divinely amazing that one could experience such personal tragedies and sorrows as did Horatio Spafford, yet, able to say with such convincing clarity, "It is well with my soul." It is an enormous challenge to embrace the significance of this hymn.

Happy Father's Day - A Letter to My Dad & Mom

Sebuah curahan hati dari anak yang jarang berkomunikasi dengan orangtuanya :p
Terinspirasi oleh Ko Hen (orang yang dipake Tuhan buat bawa saya pada keselamatan, dan yang menceritakan kisahnya menulis surat pada Papanya pada saat dia sekolah di seminari).
Selamat menikmati tulisan gua :)








Am wondering how would they respond to this letter....

Btw, pas lagi posting2... tiba2 inget lagu ini...

Excerpts of Job Interview... or so...

"Lord, I will go where ever YOU want me to go, and I will stay where ever YOU want me to stay."

18.06.09, L company
...
Partner (P): "What is your dream job?"
I: "Hmm, actually I'm planning to study full-time at SBC"
P: "When would it be? In six month?"
I: "I'm planning to enroll next year."
P: "Are you planning to get married?"
I: "Hmm... my first priority right now would be enrolling to Bible College." *Went through a lot of struggles to be able to say this :) Reading spiritual books really helps (esp. "Passion & Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot) Thanks, Lilis!*
P: "So, whatever job you are having now is only temporary?"
I: "Yes." *Do you think company will accept you if you say this? :p*
....
CEO: "So after that you will go for full time ministry?"
I: "Yes"
P: "You mean... like Isabel?"
I: "Yup"
CEO (to P): "Who is Isabel?"
P: "Her pastor."
I: "But right now our pastor is not Isabel. It's a couple."
P: "Yeah... I know... Hmm... Yeah... I could see that you will be like Isabel."
I: (smile)
P: "I could see that she is like a role model to you"
I: "Yea... she is the one that helped me to confirm my calling."
P: "Hmm... to which Bible College?"
I: "Mmm... I'm still not sure. Could be SBC, could be TTC, could be in Indonesia."
P: "How are you gonna fund your study? Church scholarship?"
I: "I still don't know. It will be 3 years full-time study, no income, and I cannot depend on my parents to help me. So I'm trying to save now. Hmm... I don't know... I just... try to walk with HIM day by day. I believe that if it is God's calling, He will provide." *Reading "Experiencing God" helps a lot. Thanks to Pa Jahja and Bu Jung2!*
....
CEO: "Why must full-time? Why not part-time?"
I: "I tried the part-time course, CCTE, and after I reconsider, I'm sure that my calling is for full time."
P: "Yup, I could see that you are called as full-timer."
I: "(smile) Thank you." *Another confirmation from another believer. Thanks, LORD!*
P: "Yea... a full-timer. And now... I think it's just a matter of time."
I: "Yea... it's just a matter of time..."
...

Yet, after this conversation, they still want me to try to talk to my boss. Ask me to resign from my company and, if my boss agree, ask my boss whether it is possible to let me go in 7 to 10 days after I resign.
I explained to them that it is almost impossible.
Yet, they still insisted that I try to talk to my boss.

Well...
Now I have so many questions in mind... so much uncertainties...
The question of the future is always puzzling...
And that is why what I require now is FAITH... to walk with GOD day by day... depend on HIM to lead me...
Through HIS Word, through prayers, through others believers, through circumstances...
I believe all will point to one thing... HIS will... And all I have to do is follow...
Step by step... day by day... with faith.
Help me, Lord.

Tebak Ini Shooting di Mana? :)

Hari ini ngobrol sama beberapa murid yang gua ajar (orang Indo) dan tanya2 soal band2 dan lagu2 yang lagi tenar di Indo. Dari banyak nama band yang mereka sebut, gua cuma tau Ungu dan Kotak. Woaa.... ternyata gua udah ketinggalan jaman banget ya! :(

Dan... kita pun memutar beberapa lagu *semacem request2an di radio*

Dan... tiba2 rasa penasaran itu muncul... Eng ing eng... inilah gua sekarang... sedang browsing Youtube mencari video klip dari lagu2 yang tadi diputer :p

Salah satu lagunya adalah ini...



The place where they shot the video clip might be so familiar for some of you! :)

Yang paling menarik adalah judul lagunya... Semakin Dikejar Semakin Jauh... Emang maling??? :D

Yasmin Ahmad

Yasmin Ahmad is a film director from Malaysia. Check here to know more about her.

First time I saw her work is through this below ad (but at that time I did not know she directed the ad). I love this one! So honest and so funny! :)



Second time I knew about her work is from her movie, Muallaf. I saw the trailer at one of the cinema in Sg. First time I saw the trailer I was so interested to watch the movie. Then I knew that she directed the movie.



The third work of hers that I saw was the commercial for the Sg government about family. I think it was so brilliant!



Today I had a 'small research' to know about her and her other works.

Apparently, she has two blogs, part 1 and part 2. There you could see some of her other works, the awards presented to her, what she is currently working on, etc.

Trailers of her previous movies...








Some of the commercials she directed... *very touching... I would either cry or laugh when I watched these*











My fave... :)




Still got so many others, but most of them in Bahasa Melayu. Just check Youtube to see her other works (and movies!)

Are You A Good Person?

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My Spiritual Gifts

Yesterday I took the Spiritual Gifts test. The result was actually not surprising. I have taken the test before and the result then was more or less the same.

The result from yesterday's test:

Gifts based on my nature:
1. Knowledge
2. Teaching
3. Wisdom
4. Administration
5. Leadership
6. Encouragement

Gifts based on my experience:
1. Administration
2. Encouragement
3. Knowledge
4. Teaching
5. Wisdom
6. Pastoral

Combination of both:
1. Knowledge
2. Teaching
3. Wisdom
4. Administration
5. Encouragement

The result above is according to my own point of view only. Actually there are 3 tests, and 1 other test would to ask your friend for confirmation. I talked with a couple of friends and most of them confirmed the results above. Would appreciate if you would also give some comments :)

Doing God's Will

Excerpts from Chapter 3 of the book "Experiencing GOD: Knowing and Doing the Will of GOD" by Henry & Richard Blackaby and Claude King: *use it for quiet times in the morning*

"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work." (John 4:34)

...We tend to seek things that keep us comfortable, but God is not restricted by our fears. He sees beyond our current limitations and is constantly leading us to grow into the person He knows we can become...
...Often people approach knowing and doing God's will this way: They ask, "Lord, what do You want me to do? When do You want me to do it? How shall I do it? Where shall I do it? What will the outcome be?" Isn't it typical of us to ask God for a detailed road map before we are willing to set our on the journey? We say, "Lord, if you would just tell me where I need to end up, then I'll be able to set my course and go." You might even decide you won't move forward until God tells you ahead of time the details of what you will face. But that is not the way God let people in the Scriptures. The Lord doesn't send us off like an errand boy. He intends to accompany us on the journey. He wants us to continually heed His voice and go with Him one day at a time. As long as we walk daily with Christ, we will always know where to be-right beside Him-and will always end up where He wants us to be. When you get to the place where you trust Jesus to guide you one step at a time, you'll experience tremendous freedom. But as long as you rely on your own judgment, you'll worry every time you must make a decision that you might take a wrong turn.
As you follow Jesus one day at a time, He will keep you in the center of God's will...

Example: Abraham
Abraham walked by faith and not by sight.
Read below passage:
Genesis 12:1-5 (New International Version)
The Call of Abram ¹ The LORD had said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you.

² "I will make you into a great nation
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.

³ I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you."

⁴ So Abram left, as the LORD had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Haran. ⁵ He took his wife Sarai, his nephew Lot, all the possessions they had accumulated and the people they had acquired in Haran, and they set out for the land of Canaan, and they arrived there.

God said, "Get out of your country." How specific were the directions? He gave Abram this much detail: "to the land I will show you." That is all God asked Abram to do. God promised to do the rest. Would you be willing to follow God's directions for your life with so little detail? God often calls people to follow Him without giving them all the details at the beginning. That is certainty the pattern in Scriptures. Many times, as with Abram, God invites people to follow Him step by step.

Other examples: Peter, Andrew, James, John, and Paul (see Matt. 4:18-22; 9:9; Acts 9:1-20)
Matthew 4:18-22 (New International Version)
The Calling of the First Disciples
¹⁸As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. ¹⁹"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." ²⁰At once they left their nets and followed him.
²¹Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, ²²and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.

Matthew 9:9-17 (New International Version)
The Calling of Matthew
⁹As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. "Follow me," he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him."

God gave minimal details about their assignments. He simply said, "Follow Me."

Are you anxious about the future, or are you content to walk with Jesus one day at a time? Take some time alone with God today, enjoying fellowship with Him without focusing on what you may need to do next.

Reminded again to this song that I love... simple words but expressing deep commitment...

Am I Filled with Holy Spirit?

A personal sumary of the sermon by Rev. Jahja Santoso on Pectacost Day. It makes me ponder whether I have been submitting myself to the Holy Spirit *since we talked much about it lately*
Hope you could use it for personal reflection also :)

Acts 3:1-10 (New International Version)

Peter Heals the Crippled Beggar

¹One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the time of prayer—at three in the afternoon. ²Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put every day to beg from those going into the temple courts. ³When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. ⁴Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!" ⁵So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them.

⁶Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." ⁷Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. ⁸He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God. ⁹When all the people saw him walking and praising God, ¹⁰they recognized him as the same man who used to sit begging at the temple gate called Beautiful, and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him.

The characteristics of people who are filled by the Holy Spirit:

1. Have a longing to go to church, worship GOD not only alone but also with others.
verse 1: "...going up to the temple" (eventhough at that time the temple was led by the people who crucified Jesus)
This one was not a big problem for me, as I really love to attend Sunday Service! :)

2. Have the sensitivity to look at others and do what GOD wants them to do to others.
verse 4a: "Peter looked straight at him, as did John..."
Look at your family members'/friends'/colleagues' face, do you notice change on their face compared to the last time you met? Do they look happy now? Or maybe sad/heavy-laden? Do you ask why? Are you willing to emphatize or help?
verse 2&3: The crippled man carried a heavy burden (and getting heavier each day) because as a man he was supposed to be a bread-winner, but the fact was he must depend on others to carry him and he had to beg.
Definitely not easy to do this. It is hard to look at others when I feel that I myself have problems. Or... sometimes I just looked at them. In my heart I wanna help them, but in the end I did not act further (some excuses: tired, not in the mood, don't want to interfere on private matters). In this case, you could say that I did not submit to the Holy Spirit.

3. Dare to ask others to "look at us". Becoming examples for others.
verse 4b: "Then Peter said, "Look at us!""
Even more more difficult! :p Cannot NATO (no action talk only)!

4. Be honest of what you have and what you don't have.
verse 6: "Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you....""
Don't push yourself to give what you don't have, and don't be a person that doesn't give what you have. (have time, give time. have energy, give energy. have money, give money, etc)
Do not make excuse! "Later when I have ... (time, money, etc), I will serve the LORD"
I have time, energy, and money. So... don't really have excuses not to serve Him :p
Wonder what do I don't have? Hmm...

5. Do the extra mile.
verse 7: "Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up..."
Actually, healing is more than enough for the crippled man (verse 3: he expected only money). Peter could just leave the man and enter the temple, but Peter did not do that. He also helped him to get up. And the man instantly became strong. And as a result, he walked, even jumped! And even praised GOD! This thing truly brought glory to GOD as the people "...were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him" (verse 10)
Do one mile is not easy, let alone to do the extra mile >.<

How bout you? :)

Adopt A Dog Campaign

I LUV dogs... and I LUV the advertisements, especially the crying woman :)

For further info on the campaign and better resolution of the picture, you can click here.

PS: I would love to adopt a dog, but my living condition here doesn't make it possible :(