Testimony at TTC Friday Chapel

In TTC, we have a system called Family Group (FG). One lecturer will mentor a couple of students from different programmes and classes. We meet every Thursday from 11.30 to 12.30noon. What happened in that one hour will be decided by the group.

In TTC, we have Friday chapel. Every FG is assigned to prepare one Friday chapel per year. Our FG's turn was yesterday.

I was asked by my mentor to prepare a testimony. You will find below. By the way, I also put Chinese translation because I have a friend who has kindly translated for me :) The Chinese translation might be different from the English as I did last-minute changes here and there. Enjoy! And I hope it can be a blessing for you! 

Oh ya... This sharing was inspired from my life journey during this time.

Bible reading: Luke 18:18-37

"When I read again the passage about the rich young ruler and was assigned a testimony by my FG, I was reminded of this one particular point of time in my life when I was working here as a safety trainer for foreign domestic helpers. At that time, I have received the approval letter from TTC to be admitted as a full-time student, so I submitted a resignation letter to my boss. The day after, my boss called me to meet him. In the meeting, he asked me to reconsider my resignation. Furthermore, he offered me a 20% salary increase plus monthly bonus. When I calculate, the total of increase was about $500 per month. It is a big amount of money for me!

Before I met my boss, I have actually prepared to reject any offer made by my boss. But when I realised the total amount of money he offered, I was stunned. I did not expect that. At the end of the meeting, my answer to my boss was, “Let me think about it.”

I went home and talked to God. In my chat with God, I would say things like: “God, I can still serve You through my job. I can use that additional money for ministry. Or maybe I can delay going to theological college for one year? The money that I would earn within that one year (12 x $500 = $6000) can help me in my study later, such as to buy books and cover for my daily needs.” All I did was just trying to find justification to stay in my job. I was struggling. I felt doubt.

But in the midst of my conversation with God, a song came to my mind. I believe it came from God. It was one of my favourite song, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus”. The refrain kept playing in my mind. It says:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace

I cried. I felt so ashamed with myself. I told myself, “Look what Jesus did for you, Ita. He is God, but he chose to become human. He went through suffering and even gave His life for you! He left nothing for Himself! He loves You so much. He even provided scholarship for you! Why is it so difficult for you to leave $6000 behind? Why is it so difficult to put God above all else, above yourself?”

The $6000 that previously looked so precious for me has become somehow worthless after I turned my eyes again upon Jesus. The next day, I met my boss to let him know that I decided to stick with my resignation and go to theological college. He “begged” me to think again, but I told him nicely that I was firm with my decision.

I thank God who has strengthened me.

But even when I’m studying at TTC now, I was still, at times, struggling. For example, when I see others using iPad or Macbook in class, I would sometimes talk to God, “God, that is so cool! I want one.” Or I like sashimi (Japanese food and it’s quite expensive) and I sometimes crave for it. I have to keep reminding myself that I do not earn money right now.

It is the struggle of letting go what I want or what I love. The struggle of wanting more than I need, not being contented with what I have, which is what actually enough for me now. I believe this struggle is sometimes felt in all of us. It can take many forms. Many things will distract us, even hinder us, to not focus on God’s calling in our lives. Let us turn our eyes on Jesus.

Lastly, I would like to encourage all of us with the verses from Hebrew 12:1-2. These verses have been an encouragement for me in times of need.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

God bless us everyone! Thank you.

当我被家庭小组安排分享见证的时候，我再次阅读少年财主的故事。我想起在我生命当中的某个时候…那时，我的职业是外地工人的安全培训员。有一天，我接到从三一神学院寄来的全时间学生申请的批准书，所以我就向老板递辞呈。第二天，老板召见我，叫我再从新考虑，并且他愿意每月加薪20%，还有多给我每个的月花红。我屈指一算，一个月总共加五百块钱！对我来讲这是一个很大的数目噢！

在我见老板之前，其实我已准备了无论他提出任何条件我都会拒绝。可是当我意识到这是如此大的数目的时候，我呆住了，因为这是我意料之外的。在会议过后，我对老板的回复是∶“让我想想看。”

回家后我跟上帝讲，我说∶“神啊，我仍然可以透过我的工作来侍奉你，我也可以用这额外的金钱在事工上，或者我可不可以延迟一年才进神学院？这一年的金钱(12 x $500 = $6000)可以帮助我以后读书时用来购买书籍和日常生活所需。” 其实，我只是在尝试找借口留在那份工作。我内心冲满了挣扎和疑惑。

当在我与神对话的时候，一首歌涌进我的脑海中，我相信是从上帝而来的。这是我其中一首很喜欢的歌曲“当转眼仰望耶稣”，那副歌不断地在我的脑海中重播∶

当转眼仰望耶稣，定睛在祂奇妙慈容，
在救主荣耀恩典大光中，世俗事必要显為虚空。

我哭了…我为自己感到何等的羞愧。我告诉自己说∶“Ita, 看看耶稣为你所做了什么，祂是神，但祂选择了道成肉身，祂经历了很多苦难，甚至把祂的生命都给了你呀！祂对自己却毫无保留！祂这么的爱你，祂也为你提供了奖学金！放下六千块钱真是这么的难吗？把神放在一切之上，包括了你自己，为什么有这么难呢？

当我转眼仰望耶稣之后，那原本对我非常珍贵的六千块钱就变得毫无价值了。第二天，我见了老板，让他知道我决定辞职并且要去神学院，他“求”我再考虑一下，但我友善的告诉他我是坚决的。

我感谢主赐给我力量去轻看这些属世享受。

现在我虽然在三一神学院读书，但我有时候还在挣扎。比如，当我看到别人在用iPad 或Macbook 的时候，我有时候会跟上帝讲: “神哪，那很有型呀，我也想要一个。”  又譬如我喜欢吃刺生（日本料理是蛮昂贵的），当我有时候很想吃的时候，我就要提醒自己我现在没有很多的收入了。

这就是“想要”多过我实际“需要”的挣扎。对不满足于我现在拥有的一切的挣扎，其实我已经足够了。我想这挣扎在我们每个人的里头都有，只是以不同的形式出现。的确有很多的东西会使我们分心，甚至阻拦我们，使我们无法专心注目在我们的呼召上。

我希望用希伯来书12:1-2这段经文来勉励大家，让我们一起来读∶

“我们既有这许多的见证人，如同云彩围着我们，就当放下各样的着担，脱去容易缠累我们的罪，存心忍耐，奔那摆在我们前头的路程，仰望为我们信心创始成终的耶稣。他因那摆在前面的喜乐，就轻看羞辱，忍受了十字架的苦难，便坐在　神宝座的右边。”
愿神赐福大家！谢谢。


After chapel, there's one special occasion that makes me very grateful. One senior thanked me for sharing.  He honestly shared to me that he has been praying whether to buy an iPhone or not. We laughed, and I replied, "Well... if God really wants you to have iPhone, I believe He will give you. But sometimes what we have now is actually enough. It's just we always want more than we need." He told me it was a good sharing and it is relevant for TTC students. 
I'm just glad that the sharing has been a blessing for at least one person :)