It's been an amazing feeling! A mix between relief and grateful. After I finished editing my last paper, I laid on my bed and cried, as I suddenly reminded how God has been there with me....
When I felt confused and upset because I don't understand what the lecturer said or what the discussion in the class about....
*Have you ever been in a discussion where you roughly don't know what they are talking about and just wanted to ask basic question, but feel afraid because people will look down on you or because your question will just break the flow of discussion? Yup, that's the feeling*
When I had headache trying to understand what I read or to memorize...
*all the terms! Aggh!Sometimes I just gave up reading*
When I was in spiritual dryness for reading all the biblical/theological books just for the sake of fulfilling the requirements.... felt guilty for not being able to stop and ponder about it first...
*It's been like a race... Ready? Get set... go! Reading M&E... M&E finished, go prepare for OT quiz... OT finished, next: NT reading... NT finished? still have CH test... CH finished? Go back to M&E la... and confession: I did not read Theo >.<*
When I was overwhelmed and had lack of sleep, juggling between classes, quiet times, papers, readings, chapels,vespers, community life, mission trips, prayer meetings, youth fellowship, entertainment, hanging out with friends...
HE WAS THERE...
There are times I just ignored Him, cut back my time with Him because I was too 'busy' with all 'other' things... *What a child!*
Yet, HE WAS THERE...
And everytime I turned back to Him for help, for strength, for wisdom, for everything....
HE WAS THERE... *What a Father!*
There were times when I read Bible or the required books, I came to a certain point where I was wowed by God through what I read... this feeling of amazement of what God is and what He has done...
There were times where I shed tears when I found a deep spiritual truth through my readings or my encounters with people...
There were times where the lecturers shared their experiences and they showed me examples in life and ministry... or there were times when what they said touched my heart, encouraged me, or rebuked me to go back to God and to prioritize what really matters in life... I really thank God for them! :)
There were times when I had great chat and laughters with other students as well as worked together and encouraged each other...
And... there were times where God directly inspired and answered me when I was praying! *Best moments!* :)
HE WAS THERE...
In my room... in the class... in the dining hall... in the chapel ... in the cluster... in the library... in the churches... in the buses... in Toho... everywhere!
HE WAS THERE...
Through the Bible... through the books... through the lecturers... through the seniors... through my classmates... through my pastor... through my friends... through every circumstances... through every moments!
He IS also here.... and He definitely WILL be there...
HE IS THE EVER-PRESENT GOD. Amen.
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