Theological Reflection on the Use of Social Media in Teens Ministry

Here is another reflection, initially written as a requirement for my Field Education Placement. The title above explains it all. Hope it helps those who are in the similar ministry.

A little bit of context: I'm doing ministry among Indonesian students (age 14-19) resides in Singapore. And I wrote this reflection on April 2013.

REFLECTION:

Write a brief description of an important, difficult, rewarding or unique event or personal encounter.

Since this teen ministry started, I have been using more variety of social media. First, the teen ministry started a Facebook group. Later, I activated my Twitter account. Then, one of my co-worker initiated a Whatsapp group. 

Then reflect on the event or encounter described 

My theological understanding has become a solid foundation that encourages me to pursue relationship with others in the language most understandable to them. Our God is Trinity, and relationship in love is God’s character. God the Father, the Son, and Holy Spirit have co-existed with one another in love since eternity. God wants a relationship with sinful human, so God reveals Himself and saves mankind through the incarnation of the Son. God became human. God uses the culture and the language of mankind so that we may know Him. Furthermore, as Christians we are called as people of God, a community. 

Ministry is about relationship with God and with one another in a community. And building a community needs communication. There are means of communication. The reason that I try to keep up with the latest social media development is because I want to build relationship, to communicate with the teens. I realized that phone call or sending short-message-service (sms) is no longer effective in reaching them, because to receive a call and reply to an sms the teens need to spend money top up, which most of them cannot afford. While social media like Facebook, Twitter, and Whatsapp are free because the school and hostels provides free wi-fi. Another reason is that phone call, for teens in this era, has been perceived more or less as quite intrusive. They do not call unless there is something very serious (usually negative) or very urgent to talk about. 

       There are many other varieties of social media now, but I found that Facebook group, Twitter, and Whatsapp group are the better ways to communicate with teens as a community. It is the most used media by the teens I our church to express themselves and communicate with each other. However, Facebook nowadays are becoming less popular among teens. They respond more when I message them through Twitter. But the most effective way of communicating now is through Whatsapp. Whatsapp group make it very easy to share prayer requests, bible verses, quotes, pictures, articles to read, links to video, and other resources. We send birthday wishes, congratulates each other for our achievements, invites each other to our important events (eg. concerts). I see discipleship as journeying with them. In Jesus’ time, disciples travel together with their teacher. They observe the whole life of their teacher. They shares lives with each other.

Having thought about your reflection, what would you do differently if you could do it all over again?

I need to constantly remind myself that social media cannot replace face-to-face encounter, so I still need to make efforts to see them and talk to them in person. I also need to be aware of the temptation, and therefore to restraint myself, of indulging in social media – being too obsessed with wanting to know how they are doing every day (updates). It can really absorb my time. 

Compliment & Criticism

Compliment & criticism...

Both are dangerous. 

Compliment can make us steal God's glory. ("Yes, I am good!")

Criticism can discourage us to the point that we went down to bitterness or make us quit. ("I can't stand it!")

So... Be aware of both! 

But both can also be good.

Compliment can give you opportunity to testify of God's goodness. ("It is not me, but God" - must say it with both  our mouth and our heart, beware of hypocrisy!)

Criticism, if they are constructive ones, can actually lead to awareness of our weaknesses, motivate us to improve and make us be more depending of God.

So... Embrace both! :)

Why am I suddenly thinking about compliments? Because lately I have been showered with lots of compliments. A good subject rep, a good testimony, good teen ministry, good this, good that. Sometimes I feel so tired. Why? Because everytime people compliment me, I need to take time to check myself whether I'm giving the glory back to God or not. 

Of course I can't blame others for giving me compliments. I believe they have good intention, which is to encourage me to keep doing good work. But how I process compliments and how they affected me also get me to think that I should also be careful in receiving compliments and in giving compliments to others because compliments can destroy a person instead of building them.

And why am I suddenly thinking about criticism? Because lately me and my friends have been giving a lot of criticism to others, especially pastors and lecturers. This pastor can't preach well. That pastor is very weak in pastoral care. This lecturer don't know what he is talking about. 

And it hit me. I realise one day I will stand on the pulpit preaching and many people will comment on my sermon. Or maybe one day I will stand in front of the class teaching and my students will talk about how they are disappointed with how I teach or my incapabilities to teach. 

Am I afraid? I don't think I should. I know it will be tough, but hopefully, by God's grace, I can ignore "bad" criticism and embrace "good" one. I've seen people doing that. Nothing is impossible with God.

Will I keep criticising others? Yes. But with caution. I will try to give "good" criticism (feedback). And I will   find balance between criticising (giving feedback to others) and criticising myself.

God, help me.

Yasmin Ahmad

Yasmin Ahmad is a film director from Malaysia. Check here to know more about her.

First time I saw her work is through this below ad (but at that time I did not know she directed the ad). I love this one! So honest and so funny! :)



Second time I knew about her work is from her movie, Muallaf. I saw the trailer at one of the cinema in Sg. First time I saw the trailer I was so interested to watch the movie. Then I knew that she directed the movie.



The third work of hers that I saw was the commercial for the Sg government about family. I think it was so brilliant!



Today I had a 'small research' to know about her and her other works.

Apparently, she has two blogs, part 1 and part 2. There you could see some of her other works, the awards presented to her, what she is currently working on, etc.

Trailers of her previous movies...








Some of the commercials she directed... *very touching... I would either cry or laugh when I watched these*











My fave... :)




Still got so many others, but most of them in Bahasa Melayu. Just check Youtube to see her other works (and movies!)

Life Back to Normal

A question by a friend led me to reflect on my life for the last two weeks...

What happened? Yesterday, me & IEC friends went to an ice cream restaurant to celebrate friends' birthday (there were 30 of us...created furors! Hehe..). I sit next to Evelyn, and not long after we sit down, Evelyn popped up a question, "Ta, what happened? You are not as 'on fire' as you used to be (she means my ministry at church). There's a decline. Is there any reason why?". Then we had a discussion about it. Mainly I admitted it, then I explained the reason *or rather excuses?*

First reason, my work in the last two weeks has been very tiring. My colleague (the only partner who teach Bahasa Indonesia class) was hospitalized & took MC for almost two weeks, so I became the only one who taught BI class. Everyday I taught two classes. Whole day. Everyday. I broke a record, 19 classes in a row. Thank GOD I did not fall sick *malah sang admin gua yg MC 2 hari :p* And when it came to the time where I was not working, I just wanna refresh my mind and forget about ministry. Sit in front of computer checking Facebook, chatting online with friends, reading books, attending fellowships-Prayer Meeting-lectures, watching movies, hanging out with friends. As a result, I 'sacrificed' my ministry. It's a bad thing... I felt guilty, but I was really helpless at that time.
Second reason, my division coordinator is travelling to Europe, cannot be contacted :p

That's what I told her yesterday.

But today, I reflected more about it.
I remember that in between my conversation with Evelyn, she mentioned that she even once came to think that I was like that because Ci Wen I (our previous pastor) left IEC Sg to minister in Indo. She knew that I was so close with Ci Wen I.
Honestly, I was struck for a while on her statement, but I didn't say anything and we then just continue our conversation.
Only this morning that I reflected about it again and I realised that I have (unconsciously) missed Ci Wen I. Why would I say that? Because when I remember again what Evelyn said about Ci Wen I, I must struggle to hold back my tears *I'm in a bus, cannot cry la...* and I admitted in my heart to GOD that I missed her...
- I missed her presence that brought laughter with the funny things she would do (make funny expressions or movements. Haha)
- I missed her Sundanese accent :)
- I miss her singing... badly :)
- I missed serving the LORD with her. I remember one time when we had to choose the cantata for Easter (I was still jobless at that time). Both of us stayed at our own place, in front of our computer. We would exchange calls and smses *coz she never chat online! >.<* We would go to websites. She would ask me to check some of the title she chose, and vice versa. We would exchange ideas & opinions, till the end we decided on "Who is This King". That was so much fun. And I remember the process of preparing Indonesia Day , how she encouraged me when I felt doubt to take the responsibility as coordinator as I was just started my job (adjustment period, I reasoned).
And so many other things that I could not put here :)
- I miss her that always be her. Never put up mask. A person that would cry out of her compassion (seen it many times when she shared her experience). The person that would speak it out when she thinks something is not right. The person that is not ashamed to show her weaknesses. That fact made me relieve, realising that every human has weaknesses (even the so called leader & full time servant of GOD), and we need others' strength to complement and support each other. She and I have similarities, but on the other side she had the strength that I would be weak at, and I got the strength that she would be weak at.
- I miss the "burden-and-concern-sharing-session" on ministry at IEC that we had. I needed someone to share and so did she. She would take what I said seriously... and I would consider her advise seriously...

Must admit that I'm currently still in the 'adapting mode' after she left IEC. It takes time, Ta. It takes time... *That's what you always teach your students, rite? :p*
I had both 'professional' and 'personal' touch with her. After she left, I could easily found the 'professional touch' from others, but I guess I still haven't found the 'personal touch'. *hope you understand what I mean :p*
Well... life MUST still go on even without her presence here, rite? True ministry does not depend on someone. It depends on GOD.
OK, Ta. Move on!

Anyway, I sent her a message asking how she is now. She said she is busy. Just finished one Cantata and now preparing for a tour in 4 cities in Indo. Other than that, still have other projects. There will be choir festival in September. This June there will also be "Peduli Bandung".
Oh wow... so many things to do. I was encouraged to do what I'm supposed to do here, knowing that she's doing what she's supposed to do there.

OK, now is thanksgiving time!
LORD, I was grateful that life has gone back to normal. My colleague came back to work. My division coordinator has come back from Europe. Thank YOU for sending me Evelyn and creating opportunity for us to discuss about it. I had come to one root of the problem that I never realized before... and solved it!
So... I guess now is the time for me to 'get up' again :)

Last word... for Evelyn. Thank you for speaking up. I really appreciate it. What you've said & done has (indirectly) encouraged me. I'll try my best to 'get up' ASAP :p By the way, glad to see you very "on-fire" recently. To see you in current condition is one thing that Ci Wen I and I would be grateful about, because both of us believed that you had huge potential... and it is proven now :) GBU always.
Last but not least, let me dedicate this blog post for you ;)

The Shifting of Sg Dream

Last night I was staying at my friend's house. We celebrated Chinese New Year by having mashed potato, mushroom soup, marinated whole chicken, broccoli & carrot for dinner *See any Chinese food on the list? :p*

Today went for lunch at the Malay stall near her house. The Auntie (or I should call MakCik?) was so nice, she chatted with us in Malay & gave us a BIG portion of food. A good tip for Indonesians to get bigger portion or cheaper food from Malay stall in Sg: speak Bahasa! :)

While we're waiting for the food to be served, the auntie showed us a newspaper. She highlighted the headline on an artist in China who painted his daughter in nude. I scanned through some the pictures paintings. Beautiful art-pieces, I think.

After that I scanned through the whole newspaper and I found a really interesting (and quite relieving) article about the shifting priorities of people living & working in Singapore. I read carefully the infographic (shown as below).

Let me quote some parts of the article:

"The family. It's the most important life raft in times of crisis.
When fears about jobs and the future are all-pervasive, families give us comfort, hope and practical help.
...quoted a recent survey by OCBC which found that this year, the top three Sg-an dreams were starting a family, settling down and buying a home.
This is in stark contrast to last year, when the top three dreams were seeing the world, self-improvement and making money.
This implies that amid uncertainty, priorities have shifted from personal wants and ambitions to home, relationships and family."

As a comparison, you may see below:

The top 10 list for 2008: 1) Seeing the world 2) Self-improvement 3) Making money 4) Houses and home 5) Good health 6) Family and Children 7) Charity & volunteering 8) Automobile 9) Starting a business 10) Retirement

The top 10 list for 2009: 1) Family and Children 2) Settling down/Starting a family 3) Houses and home 4) Making money 5) Retirement 6) Seeing the world 7) Automobile 8) Good health 9) Starting a business 10) Self-improvement

For those of you who are interested to read the full report, you may find it here.

Upon reading the article, I began to ponder...
1.) That it's good that there's a shift in how people in Sg perceive what is MOST valuable in life (usually known as 5Cs of Sg - Cash, Car, Credit Card, Condominium, Country Club membership)
2.) That it's good for Sg who in the past few years has been facing challenges on its demographic issues. (Sg needs more couples! More kids! More babies!)
3.) (Once again) that "Every cloud has a silver lining". The current global financial crisis has really brought great change. And in this case, it's for better :)
I think human are somewhat pitiful. Sometimes people could really be a fool that it takes a super giant wave to make them realize what actually are the more important things in life.
4.) When I looked at the list again, Sg is such a secular country :) Hardly mention about 'God' or religion... But the current situation, I believe, will make lots of people start to ponder about the existence of God and/or relationships with God.
Let me quote an article I read yesterday by Joerg Rieger: "In everyday experiences of pressure and change, people tend to raise questions that have deep theological significance." Hmm... I imagine questions like: Where is God in all of this thing? Why does God allow it to happen? Why is it happening to me? Is there any way out? Where can I find hope/happiness/joy/peace of mind?

Ita, how if one day your boss/ colleagues/ relatives/ friends/ acquaintances ask you such questions? Are you prepared?

... (silent)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..."

"... we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts..."

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

A Sg-an Who Loves Indo?

Me and my friend had quite a unique experience when we were taking a bus to go to her house 2 days ago...
The bus was so full of people that we are 'forced' to stand in front, just next to the driver, who is an Uncle in his 50s.
Then suddenly the Uncle talk to us in Chinese, asking me something. Me & my friend dunno what to answer coz we couldn't understand what he was asking about. Seeing our confused look, the uncle asked us again (still in Chinese) whether we can speak Chinese. I answered that I can't. He asked us where we came from. Both of us replied "Indonesia."
Then he said, "Oh... Indonesia... You ah... your face look like Chinese but you cannot speak Mandarin..."
"That's why we are unique what..." I replied *with Singlish of course :)*
"So... why don't you learn Mandarin?"
I didn't answer. Honestly, I don't really have any good reason why I didn't try to learn Mandarin. I wanted to answer, "I prefer to learn Japanese than Mandarin.", but I don't think that sentence really answer the Uncle's question, coz you can learn both languange at the same time right? For me, dunno why... I don't have a 'heart' to learn Mandarin despite the fact that:
- Mandarin is a great language (full of philosophy in the characters),
- I look like Chinese :)
- I'm currently living in Singapore (Mandarin is a common language used here).
Well... let's just say that I'm more passionate to learn Japanese. Continue...

"So... what language you are using?" he asked.
"English and Bahasa." I replied. *I actually wanna add "And Sundanese (it's my fave anyway! :)", but not sure whether he knows what Sundanese is :)*
And then... the long (but interesting) conversation began. *the Uncle is definitely a very2 talkative one. We spent about 40 minutes at the bus talking*

What were we talking about? About how good Indonesia is. Some points that the uncle mentioned:
- He once stayed & ran a business in Indonesia (Jakarta & Medan) in 1978's.
- He admired Soeharto. Why? Because in Soeharto era he can easily import things 'without paying taxes', just pay the people who worked at the border. He said things are different now coz the law is stricter. *Honestly... I'm speechless (and definitely cannot agree with him)... I just said that it's good now that the law is strict*
- He talked about Indonesian women. He said they are beautiful (compared to Sg women), could really take care of their husbands coz they don't have to work (and he loves the idea), and that they have good skin (I dun really understand what he meant, but I tried to rationalize by saying "Maybe because they have more time to take care of themselves coz they are not working? :)"
- He talked about how stressful living in Sg. He mentioned that Sg-an only think about money... money... and money...
- He loves Indonesia because there you can still feel feel fresh air in the morning , see green pastures, trees and mountains (where in Singapore all you see is HDB or any other tall buildings :p)
- He loves Indonesian food coz it's tasty and cheap. He mentioned how he likes Indonesian 'buah salak' and 'sarang burung wallet'.
- He's amazed how Indonesian can enjoy eating only nasi and ikan bilis, and eating it just by sitting at the road side (while in Sg people are so fuzzy about food and eating at a proper place)

Too much eh? Well... I would think so. I mean... the bus was full of people (which I believed most of them are Sg-an) and he talked so loudly that anybody standing in the front part of the bus could hear what he said. I saw some of them smiling and some just pretending that they didn't hear the conversation...
It's just awkward to hear that kind of remarks coming from a mouth of a Sg-an. Until it came to one point that I actually asked him, "Uncle, are you Sg-an?" Well... he is :) and in other occasion I have to say "Uncle, could you please stop? You make me feel homesick :)" and he just laughed.

Overall, he is a nice person and it was a nice conversation. After I alight from the bus, somehow I feel very happy that there are actually people who can see a positive side of my country. But somehow I also feel sad for him coz he think negatively of his own country. Near the end of the conversation I said to him, "Uncle, Sg has so many things to be proud about. It's safe and clean (which he agreed). The transportation system is so greatly organized that I feel really convenient travelling although I use public transportation."

I can actually mention many many great things about Sg, but because time constraints I could not...

Anyway... the point is... Every country has its own good and bad things, rite? And countries can learn from each other.
I think Indo can really learn a lot from Sg (especially in public policy, law enforcement, transportation system, city planning, etc.) ... and Sg can also learn from Indo (work/life balance, how to cook good food, how to live happily without the need for lots of money, etc. )

“Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things"

My New Job: the Stories Behind and What I Learn

Ok. Sekarang gua bakal cerita2 soal kerjaan baru gua.
Jadi... gua udah tandatangan perjanjian kerja pada hari Jumat tanggal 9 Januari kemaren.
Kerjaannya sebagai Training Executive di perusahaan lokal penyedia jasa pelatihan. Kerjaan gua adalah melatih para domestic workers tentang keselamatan kerja.

Secara kronologis...

Akhir taun Desember sebelum Natal ada seorang temen yang mem-forward email ke gua soal lowongan kerja itu. Gua apply seudah Natal. Tanggal 30 Desember gua ditelpon, dikasih tau kerjaannya apa, dan diminta dateng ke kantornya. Diinterview sedikit kemudian dikasih hardcopy modul yang akan gua ajar. Gua diminta untuk belajar modul itu & latihan presentasi, soalnya gua cuma bakal di-hire sama mereka kalo gua lulus audit dari Dept Tenaga Kerja (Depnaker) nya Sg. Beberapa hari seudah Taun Baru, gua dateng ke kantor itu 2 kali buat dipersiapkan untuk audit. Manajer & Directornya cukup harsh tapi bae, dalam arti mereka bener2 mengkoreksi gua kalo ada yang salah ato kurang.
Presentasi pertama tu bener2 disaster... Manajernya bilang kalo gua keliatan frustasi dan bakal bikin takut semua orang :p Terus mereka coba kumpulin beberapa Indonesian domestic workers buat 'pura2' jadi murid di kelas gua sementara gua presentasi. Ternyata metode itu berhasil. Gua jauh lebih relaks dan jelas presentasi nya jadi jauh lebih bagus :)

Hari Rabu 7 Jan gua presentasi di depan staf Depnaker Sg. Presentasi pertama dalam Bahasa Indo, jam 10 pagi. Presentasi kedua dalam Bahasa Inggris, jam 2 siang. Both went well :)
Besoknya, Kamis 8 Jan, manajernya nelpon ngabarin kalo gua dinyatakan lulus audit dari Depnaker! Cukup kaget juga, soalnya manajer itu bilang hasilnya harusnya keluar dalam seminggu. Tapi... dia propose gaji lebih kecil dari yang dibicarakan sebelumnya. Gua bersikeras bilang klo gua ga bakal terima kerjaan ini kalo ga digaji sesuai pembicaraan sebelumnya. Manajernya bilang dia bakal bilang sama Directornya dan dia minta gua dateng ke kantornya sehari sesudahnya, Jumat 9 Jan. Akhirnya gua pergi ke kantornya, ngobrol2 sama mereka. Kita sepakat dan gua tandatangan perjanjian kerja :)

Apa yang gua pelajari lewat proses pencarian kerja?

1. Prayer: "Be still and know that I am GOD"
Gua belajar banyak buat berdiam di hadapan Tuhan, cari apa yang Dia mau, bukan apa yang gua mau. Gua belajar buat mengalihkan kuasa atas hidup gua. Dari mengandalkan diri sendiri, diganti jadi mengandalkan Dia.

In the end, Tuhan ga kasih apa yang gua pikirkan. Sebagai manusia, jelas gua pengen pekerjaan yang sesuai sama background pengetahuan gua, sesuai dengan pengalaman kerja gua, dan bergaji besar.
Memang ada beberapa interview. Ada pekerjaan yang sesuai banget sama background pengetahuan & pengalaman gua. Gua yakin banget gua bakal diterima. Tapi pada akhirnya ga diterima.
Ada juga yang ga sesuai dengan pengetahuan & pengalaman tapi gajinya gede. Setelah consult sama Tuhan, gua tolak 1. Sempet berpikir apakah gua bodoh sampe nolak interview kedua di tengah kondisi gua butuh kerjaan dan kondisi sulit cari kerja. Tapi waktu itu gua terus dikasih keyakinan bahwa pekerjaan itu memang bukan buat gua...

Akhirnya Tuhan arahkan gua ke pekerjaan ini... Gua bener2 ngerasain banget tuntunan Tuhan dalam ngelewatin setiap proses (interview, latihan presentasi, presentasi di depan staf Depnaker, nego gaji, tandatangan perjanjian kerja). Gua dikasih damai sejahtera. No fear. No doubt. Sedikit worried memang ada, terutama waktu gua mau presentasi dalam Bahasa Inggris. Gua cuma bisa doa. Terbukti, sesudah doa, hati jadi damai dan presentasi Inggris gua lancar! Kekhawatiran kedua adalah soal gaji. Gua sedikit worried kalo misal gua tetep ngotot buat minta gaji sesuai pembicaraan, mereka ga bakal hire gua, apalagi dengan kondisi sekarang dimana perusahaan harus sebisa mungkin menghemat biaya. Hari Kamis malem dan Jumat pagi gua berdoa. Dan Jumat pagi gua berangkat ke kantor dengan langkah pasti. Ternyata, pembicaraan soal gaji ga semengerikan yang gua pikirin. Waktu gua dengan manajer berhadapan dengan Director, dia cuma jelasin kenapa dia turunin gaji lebih rendah dari pembicaraan, karena biar sama seperti trainer2 yang lain. Kalo misal gua digaji lebih tinggi dari trainer lain, dia takut trainer2 lain bakal iri sama gua dan bergosip di belakang gua. Tapi dia juga bilang kalo dia memang sangat bersedia bayar gua lebih tinggi dari trainer2 lain. Dia cuma berharap gua bakal kerja lebih keras dari trainer lain. Gua menyanggupi. And it's a deal! :)

Lewat semua proses itu, gua bener2 ngerasain kalo kerjaan ini memang meant to be for me. Ada damai. Ada keyakinan. Dan kuncinya adalah doa, quiet times, mencari apa kehendak DIA.

2. Word: "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you"
Sambil cari2 kerja, kadang2 gua juga suka browsing2 cari informasi soal kursus2. Udah lama memang gua berminat untuk ngambil kursus, dengan tujuan belajar hal2 baru. Salah satu kursus yang kepikiran adalah kursus Teologi. Dari dulu memang sering kepikiran buat blajar lebih lanjut soal Teologi untuk meng-equip dalam kehidupan kerohanian & pelayanan, tapi ga pernah jadi soalnya gua ga pernah act on it. Ga pernah bener2 cari info soal kursus2 yang ada.

Nah, di masa pengangguran ini gua bisa ada waktu cari2 info soal kursus. Masuk ke beberapa werbsite seminari di Sg, terus ngeceng2 beberapa kursus yang ada dan mulai berpikir2. Waktu itu yang kepikiran "Wah, Tuhan, ini menarik banget! Pengen! Duh... tapi sekarang saya kan lagi nganggur... ga ada pemasukan... sedangkan kalo ikut kursus kaya' gini lumayan mahal..."
Akhirnya pada bulan November gua sempet bikin nazar di hadapan Tuhan. Gua bilang, "Tuhan, kalo saya berhasil dapet kerjaan sebelum taun 2008 ini berakhir, saya janji taun 2009 saya bakal mulai ikut kursus Teologi."

Waktu berlalu dan Tuhan membuktikan bahwa gua bikin nazar yang salah :p Gua terus diingetin sama Mat 6:33. Berkali2. Cari kerajaan Allah dan kebenarannya dulu, baru semuanya (termasuk kebutuhan fisik/finansial) ditambahkan kepadamu. Gua disadarin kalo pemikiran gua itu terbalik. Bukan pemasukan dulu, tapi kebenaran dulu.
Semakin hari keinginan untuk ambil kursus ini semakin besar sampe gua ga bisa nahan dan akhirnya memutuskan buat daftar. Di mata beberapa orang, gua mungkin diliat sebagai orang aneh. Belon dapet kerja, eh, malah ikut2 kursus. Bagus kalo kursusnya tuh yang menunjang skill buat kerja. Ini malah ambil kursus yang ga sesuai dengan kerjaan.
Yah... gimana ya... emang udah kehendak Tuhan... ga bisa lari :)

3. The Art of Waiting: "He hath made every thing beautiful in His time"
Kalo ini sih kaya'nya udah jelas :p
Buat dapetin kerjaan ini, gua harus melewati proses pencarian kerja selama 3 bulan. Duh, percaya deh, nunggu itu ga enak banget. Ada saat2 boring, down, males terus-menerus ditanya orang dengan pertanyaan yang sama "Gimana? Udah dapet kerja?", bertanya2 apa ada yang salah sama CV gua, nyesel kenapa dulu ga kursus ini itu, bertanya2 apa gua ngambil keputusan yang salah dengan resign dari perusahaan lama, kekhawatiran tentang kecukupan (ngitung2 sampe berapa lama gua bisa bertahan hidup di Sg dengan tabungan yang tersisa), pikiran mau back for good ke Indo, dan beberapa pemikiran lain yang negatif yang bisa bikin gua undur dalam masa penantian ini.
Tapi sekarang... gua cuma bisa tersenyum waktu inget2 lagi masa2 itu... I thank HIM for HIS faithfulness & strength. Not once He left me nor forsaken me.

Yah... itulah sekelumit perjalanan gua bersama Tuhan dalam proses pencarian kerja ini...
Perjalanan belum berakhir... malah baru aja mau dimulai...
It will be tough. Gua udah di-warn kalo kerjaan ini bakal sedikit membosankan. Gua juga bakal kerja 5.5 hari instead of 5 hari.
But.... let me see the positive side. I will meet a lot of people (domestic workers). I will work with more people (colleagues). It means I have more people & more opportunities to be a blessing :)

Big Daddy, I'm so proud to have a Dad like You. Please, help me to be a child that makes you proud!

Terbatas

Pernah ngerasa kalo badan tuh sangat terbatas?
Masih harus ngelakuin ini... masih harus bikin itu... masih harus mikirin ini itu... ada dateline pula...
Tapi apa daya badan ini ga bisa kompromi...
Nafas tersengal2... idung srat sret srot... batuk kecil2...
Intinya satu, butuh istirahat.

God, this Spirit You gave me is definitely way much bigger than my body.
Sepertinya badan butuh 'doping' buat ngimbangin spirit yg menyala2 :)
Beli Red Bull... Vitamin C 1000mg... minum Pocari Sweat... *maap, bukan maksud promosi*
Will it work?
Well... let's see...

For Dogs Lovers

Baru aja selesai nonton 1 film Jepang berjudul "10 Promises to My Dogs". Film apa tu? Silakan cek sinopsisnya di bawah:

Akari is a 14-year-old schoolgirl living in Japan's northern island of Hokkaido. One day, a puppy wanders into her yard, looking lost and frightened. She is a Golden Retriever with white paw markings. Akari names her Socks. Akari's mother consents to her keeping the dog but only after she agrees to keep 10 Promises to Socks . Akari enthusiastically assents and the two begin their journey of growing up together. Akari finds herself having to overcome many changes and challenges: the tragedy of her mother's death, father's sudden resignation, coming-of-age, first romantic feelings, career ambitions and her independence. But at every step, Socks is there to provide unquestioning love and support.
(diambil dari sini)

What are the 10 promises?
(1) Please be patient with me
(2) Trust me, I will always be by your side
(3) Play with me
(4) Dun forget I have feelings too
(5) Dun fight with me and dun beat me unnecessary
(6) When i disobey, I may have my reasons
(7) You have your friends but I only have you as my friend
(8) When I am old, please continue to be my friend
(9) I live about 10 years so please cherish our every moment together
(10)I will not forget our time we spend together, when I die, please be by my side

Well... as usual... hati gua bener2 lemah kalo harus diperhadapkan sama dogie. Tiap kali baca komik tentang dogie, baca kisah tentang dogie, dan nonton film tentang dogie, gua dijamin pasti nangis. Pasti. Either nangis sedih ato nangis bahagia :) Ini juga mata gua masih sembab gini...

Berdasarkan pengalaman pribadi bersama dogie2 gua, gua belajar dari mereka tentang kasih, persahabatan sejati, kesetiaan, dan ketaatan. Engga... pernyataan ini ga terlalu berlebihan koq, buktinya sampe ada "Cat & Dog Thelogy".

Ahhh... jadi kangen banget sama dogie2 di Bandung... Pengen banget telpon ke rumah & denger suara mereka. Tears will just automatically rolls if I hear them barking over the phone... *air mata gua aja sekarang berlinang pas ngetik ini* Huhuhu... kangen mereka!

Jordan si Penakut

Mini si Cerewet

Miki si Cool

Dudut si Gak Bisa Diem

Para mantan puppies... sekarang dah jadi milik orang laen :(

Oya, jadi inget juga... beberapa waktu ke depan bakal ada beberapa film yang bertemakan dogie, di antaranya:

1. Bolt















2. Marley & Me
















3. Hotel for Dogs

























Pengeeennn banget cepet2 nonton! Tapi gua agak ragu apa harus nonton di bioskop ato ga. Bakal mengganggu orang2 di sebelah gua dengan isak tangis :p dan malu banget ntar pas keluar bioskop mata gua bakal super sembab...

Tentang Gua

Di Youth Fellowship tadi diadain satu kegiatan ngasih comment ato feedback buat semua yg dateng. Jadi setiap orang dikasih selembar kertas, terus diminta ngasih nama masing2. Kemudian kertasnya dioper ke teman2 yang lain. Kita semua harus ngasih komen atau feedback buat temen yang namanya tertera di kertas.

ada berbagai macam warna kertas, tapi teteppp... gua pilih BIRU donk! :)

Here are the comments & feedbacks I received *plus komentar dari gua juga donk... biar seru :)*

"Brave & Energetic". Hmm... I guess it's true. Gua berani melakukan something yang gua anggap bener dan voice out kalo menurut gua ada sesuatu hal yang melanggar prinsip. Gua agak lambat dalam ngambil keputusan, tapi untuk suatu yang menurut gua bener dan bermanfaat, gua berani ambil tanggung jawab itu.

"Care ama groupnya". Mm.. kurang ngerti sih group di sini tuh definisinya apa... group cewe? group pemuda? group pencinta makanan? group pengangguran? :p
Basically gua orang yang ga gampang deket sama orang lain. Tapi kalo gua deket sama orang, gua akan SANGAT2 CARE sama orang itu.
Kalo definisi nya group itu berarti Care Group... emang ada sedikit dorongan tanggung jawab juga *dari namanya aja udah keliatan :)*
Other similar comments: "Perhatian". "Thoughtful".

"Tidak kenal lelah". Wow... komentar ini agak berlebihan. Gua SANGAT MENGENAL apa artinya kelelahan dan gua SERING kelelahan. Poin nya mungkin adalah gimana caranya recover dengan cepet dari kelelahan itu. Kalo lagi ngerasa cape biasanya gua bakal:
1. Ngambil lebih banyak waktu teduh (menyendiri di kamar ato di tempat2 favorit, dengerin lagu2 rohani instrumental, baca Alkitab, doa)
2. baca koran & blog2 lucu
3. nonton
4. makan dan tidur! ;)
Other similar comments: "Semangatnya itu Bo..."

"Sabar". Hmm.. bener sih, gua orang yang sabar. Bukan "ga sabaran" dan bukan juga "sangat sabar". Ada saat2 dimana gua bakal ga sabar.
Other similar comments: "Semoga tambah sabar. GBU always :)"

"Kurang open" *Gua emang ga seneng pake baju yang terlalu terbuka :p*
Yup, gua emang bukang orang yang bisa gampang terbuka ngebicarain masalah gua di depan umum. Gua cuma bakal cerita sama orang2 terdekat.

"Rohani". *Rihanna kali ye :p*
Gua rasa wajar aja kalo gua dapet comment ini. Prinsip hidup gua yang paling dasar adalah Kekristenan.

"A beautiful girl! Great leader!! Dan gila heboh lucu! ^_^"
Hahahhaha! Gua tau banget sapa yang nulis ini! Gila-heboh-lucu? Sebenernya gua bakal gila-heboh-lucu kalo ada di deket dia, soalnya dia orangnya juga gila-heboh-lucu! She is contagious :)
Luv you so much, sis! You are a sanguine that injects me (a phlegmatic) with your spirit! Seneng banget bisa ada di deket elu! :)

"Pengetahuan luas." Hmmm.... Tergantung pengetahuan apa kali ya? Kalo gua ditanya soal Matematika ato Fisika sih pasti mati kutu!
Tapi gua mo kasih tau tips biar orang anggap kita tuh berpengetahuan luas... Sebenernya kita cuma perlu tau pengetahuan umum. Baca koran. Seengganya kita tau kalo topik itu eksis dan at least kita bisa kasih comment soal topik yg lagi dibicarakan. Kalo kita bisa cuap2 komentar biarpun ga ngerti secara dalem terhadap satu persoalan, kita bakal tetep dianggap berpengetahuan luas. Gitchu... Hehe... Btw, I'm not proud kalo cuma dibilang berpengetahuan luas. Gua bakal bangga kalo gua dibilang "wise". *Dalam perjalanan & pergumulan menjadi orang bijaksana*

"Imutz". Makacih! :)

"Loosen up, sister... :) Kadang gua liat lu stress banget... :)"
Haha... I think it's unavoidable. Deadline memang kadang bikin stress. Dan gua emang kadang perfeksionis dalam beberapa hal.

"イタ　チャン, 　がんばってねええ！！！Pasti Ica (Haha.. iya tuh bahasa rahasia!!)"
ありがとうございます :)
Other similar comment: "Semangat!"

"Diajak kesana sini selalu hayu aja." Wew... engga juga... Kalo lagi ga punya duit, ga lagi mood, ato ga terlalu tertarik sama tempatnya gua biasanya nolak.

"Cuek... tapi tenang pokoke sebagai roommate cici senenk deh"
Semenjak di Sg udah punya 2 roommate, dan 22nya selalu bilang kalo mereka seneng & beruntung bisa jadi roommate gua! Yah... gua mungkin patut berbangga buat hal ini. Hahaha!

"Tegas" (2 comments)
Definitely. Gua tegas say no buat hal2 yang ngelanggar prinsip dan kebenaran. *Memang mungkin terkadang terlihat menyeramkan ato radikal. But that's me!*

"Lucu" (2 comments) *Ga yakin ini tuh karena muka gua lucu ato karena gua sering ngelucu*


"Moody". Bisa dibilang betul. Gua bakal diem banget kalo gua lagi pengen diem. Dan bisa cerewet banget kalo kondisinya emang kondusif :)

"Keras". Yup. Gua bakal ngotot buat hal2 yang prinsip dan hal2 yang gua anggap bener.

"Good manager" *Belon jadi Manager koq :)*

"Selalu ceria... good impact for others :)". "Friendly". "Baek banget!"

"Rajin pelayanan" (3 comments)

Well... any other comments or feedback from you?

Only One Life

Baru aja nyanyi lagu "Only One Life" bareng Sanctuary Choir. Nice tune and wonderful lyrics. Remind me AGAIN the purpose of my life and what's the most important thing in life.

ONLY ONE LIFE
VERSE 1
It matters so little how much you may own
The places you've been or people that you know
For it all comes to nothing when placed at His feet
It's nothing to Jesus, just memories to me

VERSE 2
You can take all the treasures from far away lands
And take all the riches you can hold in your hands
And take all the pleasures your riches can buy
But will it help when it's your time to die?

VERSE 3
The days pass so swiftly, the months come and go
The years melt away like new falling snow
Spring turns to summer then summer to fall
Autumn brings winter
Then death come to all

CHORUS
Only one life so soon it will pass
Only what's done for Christ will last
Only one chance to do His will
So give to Jesus all you days
It's the only life that pays
When you recall you have but one life

Gua seneng banget klo ngebahas soal kehidupan dan kematian. Klo gua doa pagi2, ada 2 hal yang diyukuri pertama kali
1. Hal pertama adalah gua masih dikasih kesempatan buat hidup :) It's a gift.
2. Hal kedua karena dikasih kesempatan hidup kedua kalinya yang dimulai 8 taun lalu. It's the greatest gift.
Kehidupan pertama gua tuh hidup yang dipenuhi dengan kegiatan yang sia2, yang ga jelas tujuannya, dan akhir hidupnya ga enak (masuk neraka). Tapi gua dikasih "second chance" buat mengulang hidup baru, hidup yang bertujuan, hidup yang jelas mo kemana akhirnya, hidup yg ga dibatasi kematian.

Gua juga diingetin lagi kalo: Ke tempat2 bagus manapun gua pergi dan orang2 terkenal manapun yang gua temuin, ga bakal banyak berarti apa2 waktu gua mati dan menemui Sang Pencipta...
Gua kan orangnya suka kepengen pergi ke sini, ke situ, negara ini, negara itu, foto2 di sini situ, pengen bisa ngumpulin duit biar bisa jalan2 ke negara2 laen. Terus gua juga orangnya suka bangga banget klo bisa ketemu orang2 terkenal, suka minta foto bareng mereka. *foto mlulu*
Well.. diingetin lagi klo semua hal di atas emang sah2 aja ASALKAN ga dijadiin hal yang paling utama ato penting banget.

Also, while contemplating the lyrics, some verses went through my mind:
"Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." (I Corinthians 15:58b, NIV)
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)
"Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom" (Psalm 90:12)

Well, you may enjoy the song here. Selamat merenungkan kembali tentang hidup! :)

Keturunan?

Baru aja dikasih tau temen soal film Indo baru, judulnya "Kita Punya Bendera". Bercerita tentang seorang anak keturunan Tionghoa yang mengalami semacam 'krisis identitas'. Terutama waktu disuruh ngisi formulir dan di dalemnya ditanya soal 'Keturunan'.

Buat lebih jelasnya silakan liat trailernya di sini dan baca reviewnya di sini dan di sini.

Gua sendiri ngalemin hal yang sama kaya' Timmy. Ga di Indo... ga di Sg... pertanyaan ini selalu ditanyain. Dan gua sampe sekarang kadang suka bingung mo jawab apa. 'Krisis identitas' nih :)

Waktu sekolah, sering banget disuruh ngisi formulir yg nanyain soal suku/etnis/keturunan, gua kadang mikir dulu mo jawab apa. Pengennya sih jawab "Sunda", soalnya gua lahir & besar di Bandung, SD-SMP belajar bahasa Sunda, di rumah pun pake Sunda, ngobrol sama beberapa temen pun pake Sunda, ga pernah pake Mandarin. Tapi... kalo gua jawab Sunda, pasti ntar heboh dan dipanggil guru. Hehe... Lagipula orang Sunda nya juga emang mau ngakuin gua sebagai bagian dari mereka? :p

Waktu di Sg... Pas interview gua suka ditanya, "Are you Indonesian?".

Ya gua jawab "Yes."

Tapi biasanya si penanya bakal nanya lagi, "You mean... Indonesia-Indonesian?"

Kalo dah gini gua bakal mengernyitkan dahi. Berhenti sebentar. Udah pengen banget ngomong, "Maksud loe !?! Ambigu banget. Apa maksudnya 'Indonesia-Indonesian'? Bahasanya ga sophisticated banget si! Bilang aja native ato indigenous!"

Tapi biasanya dengan sabar gua bakal jawab, "Errmm... I'm Indonesian"

"Chinese-Indonesian?" (biasanya sambil ikut2an mengernyitkan dahi dan nadanya mulai hati2)

"Well... some people refer as that, but I prefer to be referred as 'Indonesian'"

"But you are Chinese descendant, rite?" 

Duuhhhh... ni orang ngotot banget! Ya udah, gua jawab, "Yes." 

Baru mereka menunjukkan tampang lega karena dah dapet jawaban.

Dan gua jadi bete :(

Another case, waktu gua di Imigrasi Sg, waktu pengurusan Permanent Resident. Petugasnya bilang kalo gua harus ngisi pilihan soal ras. Gua tanya pilihannya ada apa aja. Dia kasih liat di layar komputernya. Ada Chinese, Hokkien, Indian, Malay, dll.

Terus gua tanya, "Do you have 'Indonesian' as a choice?"

Si petugasnya, dan juga seorang staff penyedia jasa imigrasi yang nemenin gua ke kantor imigrasi, masang tampang bingung. 

"Ermm... No." kata petugasnya.

"Okay then... Chinese."

Kasus terakhir yang gua alemin tuh sekitar 2 minggu lalu waktu gua pergi sama sahabat karib gua di Jakarta nemenin dia ke rumah ortu cowonya. *I know...it's kinda weird, but I have to go there :)* Pacarnya sahabat gua tuh orang Batak.

Waktu di rumahnya, gua diajak ngobrol sama bokapnya cowonya temen gua. 

"Ade' namanya siapa?"

"Ita, Om."

"Kristen?"

"Iya, Om."

"Ahh... bagus... bagus... Kita itu punya satu Tuhan. Ga peduli Batak, ga peduli Manado, semuanya satu di hadapan Kristus."

"Bener, Om."

Lalu si Om cerita2 sedikit soal rumahnya. Ga lama kemudian Om nanya lagi, "Ade orang apa?"

"Lahir di Bandung, Om"

"O.. orang apa ya?" 

Baru ngeh ternyata si Om nanya soal suku.

"Ermm... Sunda, Om."

"Hah! Orang Sunda? Ga ada orang Sunda yang putih kaya' gini."

"Err... keturunan Tionghoa, Om."

"O.. ya.. pantes.. pantes.. keturunan ya.."

Haha! Si Om emang lucu. Ternyata beliau penasaran juga. Dan mungkin nganggep gua orang Manado (yg katanya kulitnya putih)

What an experience! Dipikir2... nekat juga gua jawab Sunda :p 

Well.. yg jelas gua personally masih bingung. Gua tau faktanya kalo gua keturunan Tionghoa. Tapi diliat dari kehidupan gua sehari2, ga bisa dibilang Tionghoa juga. Lebih keliatan Sunda daripada Tionghoa. 

Kalo mo jujur, dalam opini pribadi gua, istilah "Chinese-Indonesian" (C-I) itu seharusnya dihapus. Istilah pembentuk tembok pemisah kaya' gitu, menurut gua, ga usah ada lah.

Yah... tapi memang hal kaya' gitu ga memungkinkan. Kehidupan berbangsa & bernegara itu ada aturannya sendiri. Scholar2 juga masih memerlukan istilah C-I dalam research2 yang mereka jalani tentang relasi & proses asimilasi C-I dengan pribumi.

Kalo ditilik2, istilah C-I emang agak riskan karena sejarahnya juga. Sebenernya akar permasalahan dimulai dari masa penjajahan Belanda dimana penjajah menetapkan pemisahan menjadi 3 strata: strata paling tinggi adalah Belanda & keturunannya, di bawahnya adalah Timur Asing (Chinese termasuk di sini), di bawahnya lagi pribumi (pri). Chinese (C) diberi hak mengurus segala hal berbau bisnis/perdagangan dan orang pri mengurus pemerintahan. C dikasih perumahan tersendiri yang terpisah. Jelas asimilasi jadi sulit. Dan karena ngurus perdagangan, C jadi lebih banyak duit, lebih makmur daripada pri. Apakah ini bisa dibilang adil?

Lanjut... jelas pri pengen juga banyak duit donk, dan satu2nya hal yang bisa mereka bisa pake sebagai 'alat' cari duit adalah kedudukan mereka sebagai pejabat pemerintahan. Mereka punya otoritas mengatur peraturan & perijinan dagang.

Bayangin... C punya duit, pri punya kedudukan... ada yang bisa dibarter donk... ada simbiosis mutualisme... dan di situ dimulailah yang namanya korupsi... C kasih duit, pri 'meloloskan'/'mempermudah'...

Jelas waktu itu mereka belon mengenal istilah 'korupsi'. Buat mereka, praktek itu merupakan praktek yang wajar dan, bahayanya, jadi mendarah daging. 

Bayangin apa yang udah diwariskan oleh penjajahan Belanda terhadap kehidupan sosial Indonesia. Pengkotak-kotakan etnis dan korupsi. Warisan yang, menurut gua, sangat buruk. Apa mo kita pertahanin warisan yang kaya begini? 

Kembali ke soal keturunan. Masih banyak hal yang harus gua 'beresin' soal persepsi gua terhadap latar belakang gua. Tapi yang jelas, kalo gua ditanya, gua ga bakal bilang kalo gua C-I, kecuali terpaksa banget. "Indonesia" aja udah cukup.

Hidup Indonesia satu! :)

Indo & Sg

"Home is where your heart is."

So... sekarang mana yang elu consider sebagai 'home'? Indo? ato Sg?

Pusink yeuh... Kalo lg di Sg pengen balik Indo, tapi pas Indo juga kangen Sg. *Jadi maunya apa sih?*

Gua cinta ma Indo. Gua bener2 sadar kalo Tuhan punya maksud tertentu kalo sampe gua dilahirin di Indo.

Hubungan gua sama Indo emang sempet mengalami pasang surut. Dulu waktu kecil gua bangga banget jadi orang Indo, negara berkembang yg kemajuannya pesat. Menginjak remaja, esp mulai tahun 96an, rasa kebanggaan itu pudar diganti rasa benci. Hal ini sedikit banyak karena krisis multidimensi yang melanda Indo dan pelampiasan 'rasa tidak suka' yang ditumpuk bertaun2 dan akhirnya memuncak pada tindakan anarkis berbau diskriminasi di dalam kerusuhan2 yang terjadi.

Keluarga gua kena imbas langsung dari salah satu kerusuhan. Pada kerusuhan di kota T, ruko adik mama gua dijarah dan seudah itu dibakar habis oleh massa yang kalab. Bener2 habis. Ga ada yang tersisa.

Waktu perisitiwa itu terjadi, di ruko itu ada buyut gua (mamanya kakek) yang memang tinggal di sana & saat itu lagi jaga toko. Waktu itu umurnya 90 lebih dan hanya ditemani seorang suster yang usianya juga udah tua. Adik mama lagi ga ada di toko karena lagi ada keperluan di luar. Untungnya, di tengah kerumunan massa yg masuk & menjarah toko, masih ada orang yg 'waras' yang manggil tukang becak & minta nganter mereka berdua dengan selamat ke rumah kakek gua.

Semenjak itu, adik mama gua mulai usaha lagi dari nol, kerja sebagai sales di perusahaan pasta gigi. Sedangkan buyut gua kondisi kesehatannya menurun drastis, dan ga lama kemudian beliau meninggal. Anggota keluarga menduga beliau trauma karena ngeliat langsung kerusuhan yang terjadi di ruko itu.

Kejadian itulah yang memicu kebencian gua sama negara ini. Dalam hati, gua menyalahkan peristiwa kerusuhan itu, gua menyalahkan orang2nya. Gua ga bisa terima. Gua marah. Gua terus mencari2 kesalahan bangsa ini.

Tapi... Tuhan emang punya rencana tersendiri... 

Kalo ga ada kejadian2 buruk di Indo, mungkin gua akan berteriak2 "Gua bangga jadi anak Indo" dengan tanpa makna yang dalem & meresap :)

Kejadian2 kerusuhan itulah yang bikin gua mulai bertanya, "Kenapa sih gua lahir & dibesarin di sini? Di tengah negara yang ga ada harapan ini. Di tengah bangsa yang carut marut begini?" 

Pertanyaan itu terus tertanam. Dan gua bertekad harus dapet jawabannya.

Well... thanks GOD kalo pencarian jawaban gua diarahin ke arah yang bener :) Sedikit demi sedikit jawaban mulai dibukakan.

"Forgive. Love the person who's unfair to you."

"Be compassionate to this nation."

"Be MY light who shines in the darkness of this world."

Definitely not easy, but doesn't mean not possible. 

Masuk jurusan Hubungan Internasional (HI) bikin gua lebih kenal negara ini dan kebobrokannya. Tapi bukan berarti ini bikin gua jadi kembali benci negara ini. Sebaliknya, gua tambah 'terbeban' & compassionate buat bangsa ini. Masuk HI pun memperluas cara pandang gua. Dulu gua berpikir (dan sampe sekarang banyak orang masih berpikir) "Kalo elu cinta Indo kenapa sekolah, kuliah, kerja di luar negeri? Ninggalin Indo". Jelas ini pemikiran yang salah. Diplomat dan duta besar ada orang yang berjuang di luar negeri buat mempertahankan nama baik Indo. Dan semua orang Indo yang di luar negeri adalah "diplomat2 dan duta2 kecil" buat Indo. So... buat gua & orang2 Indo yang ada di luar negeri... please behave! Jaga nama baik Indo!

And here I am, permanent resident of Singapore... Gua juga bersyukur banget sama Tuhan kalo gua boleh diijinin mengecap kehidupan di luar Indo (in this case Sg). Selama di Sg gua ngerasa 'bertumbuh', spiritually, mentally, & physically *sampe overweight begini :)* Gua sadar kalo gua tetep tinggal di Indo gua bakal jadi anak 'manja', ga bakal sedewasa & semandiri sekarang. 

Dan kalo satu saat gua harus ninggalin Sg, jujur gua ngerasa berat. This country has taught me many new things about life, about dream, about how small & incompetent I am, about opportunities, about potential, about willingness to always improve,  about struggle, about determination, about relationships, and... about how wonderful Indo is :)

Hahh... kangen Sg ni... :)

Meninggalkan Kemapanan

Gua pribadi sangat terberkati sama bacaan dari “Renungan Harian” hari ini… Terutama di saat2 persimpangan sekarang… Semoga bisa jadi berkat juga buat semua yang baca…

Kejadian 12
1. Berfirmanlah TUHAN kepada Abram: "Pergilah dari negerimu dan dari sanak saudaramu dan dari rumah bapamu ini ke negeri yang akan Kutunjukkan kepadamu;
2. Aku akan membuat engkau menjadi bangsa yang besar, dan memberkati engkau serta membuat namamu masyhur; dan engkau akan menjadi berkat.
3. Aku akan memberkati orang-orang yang memberkati engkau, dan mengutuk orang-orang yang mengutuk engkau, dan olehmu semua kaum di muka bumi akan mendapat berkat."
4. Lalu pergilah Abram seperti yang difirmankan TUHAN kepadanya,…

Meninggalkan Kemapanan
Setelah lebih dari 25 tahun mengabdi, Pak Riko dimutasi oleh atasannya dari kantor pusat di Jakarta ke kantor cabang di Palangkaraya. Pak Riko panik. Baginya hanya ada dua pilihan: mutasi atau berhenti. Pindah ke tempat baru sungguh tak terbayangkan. Ia sudah mapan. Seluruh keluarganya ada di Jakarta. Istri dan keempat anaknya juga sudah puluhan tahun tinggal di Jakarta. Pindah tempat berarti harus memulai lagi semuanya dari nol.
Meninggalkan kemapanan hidup memang bukan perkara mudah. Ketika Abram dipanggil Tuhan untuk meninggalkan negerinya, ia pun pasti bergumul berat. Pada usia 75 tahun, Abram tentu sudah sangat mapan. Sudah menyatu dengan lingkungan Ur-Kasdim. Lantas, mengapa Tuhan menyuruhnya pergi jauh? Rupanya Abram hidup dalam lingkungan penyembah "allah lain" (Yosua 24:2). Keluarga dan masyarakatnya menyembah dewa-dewi Babel. Setelah Abram beriman, Tuhan memintanya pergi membangun sebuah generasi baru yang takut akan Tuhan. Ada janji yang indah: dari Abram akan lahir bangsa yang besar. Namun janji itu baru terwujud jika ia berani meninggalkan kemapanan. Akhirnya Abram berangkat juga. Apa dasarnya? Iman! Imanlah yang memberanikan orang menerobos kemapanan.
Ada saat dalam hidup di mana kita perlu meninggalkan zona nyaman. Misalnya, saat pindah kerja, membuka bisnis baru, memasuki pernikahan, atau saat kita kehilangan apa yang kita andalkan. Jika saat itu tiba, jangan takut melangkah. Jangan menunggu sampai semua sudah tampak pasti, baru bertindak. Beriman berarti memberanikan diri melangkah dengan terus melihat ke mana Tuhan akan memimpin -JTI
-KITA BERANI MAJU KARENA MEYAKINI PIMPINAN TUHAN, BUKAN KARENA KEPASTIAN MASA DEPAN-

Sedikit related dengan renungan di atas… Gua jadi flashback… =)
Inget waktu gua decide buat kuliah Hubungan Internasional (HI) meskipun dari kecil selalu bercita2 jadi dokter. Gua masuk kelas IPA/Science dan sampe kelas 3 SMA gua masih ngobrol serius sama mama gua buat masukkin gua ke Fakultas Kedokteran Universitas Maranatha (soalnya biaya kuliah Kedokteran ga kecil). Mama cuma bilang “Kamu pikirin soal belajar aja, soal duit itu urusan papa mama.”

Sampe pada satu saat waktu kelas 3 SMA ada tim dari Universitas Parahyangan (Unpar) dateng ke sekolah dan presentasi tentang Unpar…
Gua ga berminat masuk Unpar. Gua dah yakin mau masuk Kedokteran Maranatha. Buat gua Unpar adalah cadangan.. Gua bakal tetep tes masuk Unpar, itu pun milihnya Akuntansi dan cadangannya Manajemen. Kalo ga masuk Kedokteran, baru gua ke Unpar.

Nah… balik lagi ke soal presentasi Unpar…
Yang dipresentasiin sih semua jurusan di Unpar… tapi… yang presentasi itu (cewe) berasal dari jurusan HI. I’m quite amazed sama cara dia presentasi, kayanya ngeflow banget, dan kepribadiannya juga terlihat menarik. Dan gua berpikir, “Gua mau jadi kaya dia. Gua mau kuliah HI.” *sungguh suatu pen-generalisasi-an yang sempurna*
Yah…begitulah Sodara2… sesimple itulah alasan gua masuk HI…

…

Ya engga lah! Kalian pikir gua orang macam apa?
Selaen tertarik dengan kepribadian sang presentor, gua juga denger dari dia kalo prospek HI ke depannya sangat cerah soalnya kita sekarang hidup di dunia yang semakin global.
And I thought it was a valid point.

Bagaikan di brainwashed, gua tiba2 PENGEN BANGET masuk HI.
Bayangin aja… gua baru banget denger yang namanya HI, ga tau apa itu HI dan ga tau apa yang bakal gua pelajari di sana, tapi kok…menggebu2 banget… pengeennn banget kuliah HI.

Mulai detik itu gua mulai bergumul… Jantung selalu berdegup kencang dan keringat dingin mengalir sewaktu memikirkan mau kuliah jurusan apa… Keyakinanku terhadap Kedokteran mulai goyah… *wuih… bahasanya… edan… lumayan lah buat orang yang nilai Bahasa Indonesia-nya 6 mlulu*

Btw, pergumulan gua bukan milih antara Kedokteran ato HI, tapi gimana meyakinkan ortu gua (yang adalah sumber pedapatan pada saat itu) supaya gua bisa dibiayain kuliah di HI. Somehow hati gua determined banget mau masuk HI.

Semua orang pikir gua gila. Dalam otak mereka “HI? What kind of animal is that?”. Gua sampe harus berdebat sama keluarga gua. Nangis2 waktu gua ga diijinin masuk HI.
HI itu bukan jurusan yang populer di sekolah gua! Bahkan di kalangan mereka yang ngambil IPS/Sosial sekalipun!

Temen2 gua bingung…
Koko gua bingung…
Mama gua bingung...
Apalagi gua…

Koko gua bilang gua bego. Dia lulusan Akuntansi Unpar, dan somehow dia selalu berpikir kalo Akuntansi Unpar is the best choice for everyone… the road to success… Semua adik2nya harus masuk Akuntansi Unpar! Alesannya sih “Biar ngerti duit”…
Akuntansi Unpar emang bagus *Klo gua bilang jelek ntar gua bakal dicingcang sama 3 house mates gua ><* tapi kan bukan berarti generalisasi kalo semua orang yg masuk sana pasti jadi sukses banyak duit. Anyway, gua sih cuek2 aja sama omongan koko, toh bukan dia yang biayain gua kuliah :p

Yang cukup sulit sih melewati rintangan yang bernama Mama =) Mama gua emang punya mimpi kalo anak cewe satu2nya ini bakal jadi dokter (salah gua juga sih dari kecil selalu gembar gembor mo jadi dokter :p). Dia suka bilang ke temen2nya kalo gua ntar mo kuliah kedokteran. Jadi yah.. pas tiba2 gua bilang gua mau masuk HI… ga kebayang… Mungkin rasanya seperti “dicium” mobil berkecepatan 1000 km/jam di tengah hujan deras banyak petir di malam hari tanpa bulan dan bintang, terus terlempar sejauh 1000 km dan akhirnya terjerembab ke jurang sedalam 1000 km nan gelap nan bau nan bechek ga ada ojhek.

Anyway, gua sempet bersitegang sama mama. Dia mungkin ga abis pikir gua bisa sampe ganti haluan 180 derajat dan ambil jurusan yang dia sama sekali ga familiar… Singkat cerita… akhirnya mama gua nerima. Tolong diterima aja ya… *udah panjang nih*

Dan akhirnya gua melangkah masuk HI… Turn out that it’s a right choice. It’s been one of the love of my life.

Semester pertama dan kedua cukup struggling, soalnya dituntut banyak tau pengetahuan umum. Parahnya.. seumur2 tuh gua ga pernah terbiasa baca koran ato majalah sosial politis… Gua senengnya komik Jepang… Baca koranpun biasanya cuma baca surat pembaca, komik, PR Kecil-rubrik anak2 (liat resensi games & film kartun) dan rubrik remaja… Hihi.. engga denk.. gua juga seneng baca rubrik Internasional (ini salah satu “tanda” sih). Sebenernya alasan gua suka rubrik Internasional simple banget kok. Biasanya berita2 di rubrik itu tuh cerita2 yg “terpilih” dari seluruh dunia dan yang pasti menarik banget buat dibaca. Beda sama berita nasional ato berita kota. Biasanya di rubrik Nasional ato Bandung tuh berita2 yang sama sekali ga penting dan ga menarik juga tetep aja dimasukkin…

Back to my HI stories..

Nilai gua semester 1 & 2 ga jelek, tapi gua ga puas. Gua ga mau cuma jadi mahasiswa yg jago text book doank. Ditanya teori bisa tapi kalo suruh masukkin kasus ga bisa ato kalo ditanya kasus2 HI terkini malah blank. Gua suka kesel sama diri sendiri kalo dosen di kelas ngasih satu kasus tertentu (dari berita terkini) dan gua ga tau kasusnya. Gua jadi ngerasa blur dan bego. Dan gua ga suka jadi orang yang ga tau apa2. Jadi gua ngumpulin tekad buat “ngejar ketinggalan gua”. Mulai baca koran… mulai baca majalah…

Dan mulai semester 3 dan seterusnya… tutup mata pun bisa *Huahahaha! Sombong pisan!* Maksudnya… Gua kan bilang kalo Hi is one of the love of my life. Nah… kalo udah cinta kan pasti otomatis pengen tau lebih dalem… otomatis kangen pengen ketemu tiap hari… otomatis pengen kenal luar dalem… Kalo udah kenal luar dalem… otomatis tutup mata pun bisa jawab. Hohoho… *hiperbola.. hiperbola..*

Hubungan sama mama pun dipulihkan *lagi2 hiperbola… wong emang ga pernah retak kok* Ada 2 semester dimana gua bisa pulang ke rumah sambil senyum2 nyamperin mama & bilang “Ma, IP (nilai) saya semester ini 4 (out of 4 tentunya)”. Kalo udah gitu pasti mood mama gua jauh lebih baik. Hehe.. sekali2 bikin mama bangga ga ada salahnya kan? Dan buat ngeyakinin mama kalo gua ga salah pilih. Namanya juga cewe… butuh diyakinkan *pelajaran buat para cowo tuh =)*

Yah.. itulah kisah gua waktu melangkah masuk ke negeri antah berantah yang bernama HI… dengan modal nekat… dengan modal “tanda2” lain dari Tuhan… dan dengan modal iman =)

Negeri yang sangat indah.. I really enjoyed living it. Kuliah ga sibuk :p Nilai bagus dan tetep bisa spend banyak waktu buat les, leisure, keluarga, temen2, dogie, dan buat ngelakuin pekerjaan2 Tuhan lainnya.

Hoho… itu baru 1 cerita... Sebenernya ada cerita laen lagi yang lebih relevan sama renungan di atas, yaitu cerita waktu gua memutuskan mo ke Singapore. Next time gua cerita2 deh ya… tapi ga janji lho =p

Btw, lewat flashback ini gua diingetin lagi buat ga takut melangkah. Jujur sih… semakin bertambahnya usia pasti lebih takut buat keluar dari zona nyaman. Istilahnya sih udah ga bisa maen2 lagi. Yah.. let’s see what’s next for me (yang mulai minggu depan akan jadi pengangguran lagi)

Last but not least, yang merasa terberkati dengan renungan di atas, boleh di sharing in juga ;)

I Believed

Pengen nonton... tapi banyak yg ga suka.. Hiks2.. The X Files tuh termasuk film seri favorit gua. Dulu tuh.. pas jaman SMP.. gua tiap Rabu malem pasti nonton! Sendirian di ruang TV (soalnya di keluarga gua juga ga ada yg suka nonton). Tapi ga begitu ngefans juga, buktinya movie pertamanya ga nonton. Punya koleksi DVDnya.. tapi baru sampe season 4..

Gua suka soalnya 2 tokoh utamanya: Mulder & Scully, bener2 punya 2 pola pikir yang bertolak belakang. Mulder yang sangat percaya sama hal2 "supranatural" dan Scully yang selalu berusaha mencari penjelasan ilmiah/logis di balik semua peristiwa2 "unik" yang terjadi. Gua ngerasa, di dalam diri gua ada kedua sifat Mulder & Scully. Percaya pada hal2 yang ga keliatan, tapi sometimes ga tahan juga buat nyari penjelasan logis di balik segala sesuatu.

Anyway, lewat The X Files gua belajar "memperluas pikiran gua", terutama karena dalam film ini gua selalu dicekoki sama argumen Mulder vs. Scully. Gua jadi dilatih buat melihat sesuatu dari perspektif yang berbeda bahkan bertolak belakang. Waktu gua berlawanan pendapat sama orang laen, gua bisa ngerti perspektif dia dan ga ngotot pertahanin pendapat gua kalo lawan gua ternyata bener, tapi gua juga tetep berusaha explain alasan kenapa gua berpikir demikian.

Gua juga suka film The X Files karena endingnya yg ga pernah end :) Gua suka film yang endingnya bener2 ga bisa ketebak ato ga jelas (membuka interpretasi penonton)

Btw, pertama kali liat poster filmnya, hal yang sangat menarik perhatian gua adalah taglinenya:

To Find the Truth, You Must Believe

Kok gua kaya' melihat sebuah message KeKristenan ya? Langsung ngingetin gua sama ayat Alkitab:

John 11:40 (NIV)

Then Jesus said,"Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

Jadi... percaya dulu, baru menemukan. Itu iman yang sejati! Bukan yang sebaliknya (melihat dulu bukti2 ato mujizat, baru percaya).

John 21:29 (NIV)

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed"

Di dunia post-modern ini banyak orang ga percaya adanya kebenaran mutlak. Kebanyakan orang berpikir, "Semua ajaran/kepercayaan/agama itu sama, semuanya bener". Tapi gua percaya, di lubuk hati mereka yang paling dalem (dan mungkin secara ga sadar), roh mereka rindu pengen tau apa itu kebenaran yang mutlak. Buktinya, mereka mencari2 tau, baca banyak buku2 soal macem2 agama & kepercayaan. Tapi karena mereka ga percaya Tuhan Yesus sebagai Allah, makanya mereka ga nemuin kebenaran absolut itu.

Banyak orang baca Alkitab, tapi cuma nganggap Alkitab sebagai buku moral ato story book. Cuma orang2 yang dianugrahin Spirit of God aja yang bisa nemuin kebenaran dalam Alkitab.

I Cor 2:13,14 (NIV)

"This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught in the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."

Hahaha.. udah ah.. ntar malah khotbah..

Gua bukan berusaha mengaitkan The X Files sama Alkitab ya... cuma kebetulan aja kepikiran hal ini pas liat tag line nya :)

Anyway, gua cuma ngasih makanan pembuka doank. Silakan mendalami Alkitabnya masing2 ;)

*Artikel ini merupakan efek samping dari NIV Study Bible yg baru2 ini gua beli :)*