Blessed to be a Blessing

Hi-Ne-Ni 我在這裡 Here I Am

2012-02-03T19:11:00.000+08:00

Another beautiful song presented in today's chapel by some students from Chinese department.
Don't get me wrong. I can't really understand Chinese. However, the chapels in TTC are conducted bilingually, so they showed both Chinese and English lyrics. That's why I can appreciate this song more...

Hi-Ne-Ni（我在这里)

耶和华我的主啊 !
求你使我放下心中心中所爱
耶和华我的主啊 !
求你使我打碎心中心中偶像
直到我在敬拜中献上自己为祭
无怨无悔永不回头永不回头
直到我在祭坛那里得着命定
无怨 , 无悔我在这里我在这里
Hi-Ne-Ni Hi-Ne-Ni
烧我 , 差我 , 我在这里
Hi-Ne-Ni Hi-Ne-Ni
烧我 , 差我 Hi-Ne-Ni
为这世界黑暗的角落
为那不曾被安慰的灵魂
我在这里 Hi-Ne-Ni
我在这里 Hi-Ne-Ni

English translation:

Hi-Ne-Ni
* Hi-Ne-Ni” is Hebrew for “Behold! Here I am”
Lyrics: Lily Liu Music: Francy Shao

Yahweh! O my LORD my God
Come and help me forsake my love
Forsake my love, my all

Yahweh! O my LORD my God
Help me break down all my idols
Idols in my heart
Till I give myself in worship as a sacrifice
With no regrets, No turning back
Till I at the altar hear the calling for my life
With no regrets, Here I am

Hi-Ne-Ni , Hi-Ne-Ni
Purge me, Send me Yes! Here I am
Hi-Ne-Ni , Hi-Ne-Ni
Purge me, Send me, Hi-Ne-Ni

For the darkest corners of the world
O LORD! Send me!
For the souls hopeless in despair, Here I am!
Yes! Here I am, Hi-Ne-Ni
Yes! Here I am, Hi-Ne-Ni

Lyrics and translation are taken from: http://myblog.edzx.com/?40474/viewspace-22182

2012-01-05T00:35:00.003+08:00

They showed below video in today's chapel.

Lyrics copied below. The sentences in red are those who spoke to me at this particular time.

My heart is so proud. My mind is so unfocused.
I see the things You do through me as great things I have done.
And now You gently break me,
then lovingly You take me
and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker.
Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged,
knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job.
For who am I to serve You?I know I don't deserve You.
And that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on.

Chorus*
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."
You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really means.
The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary.
So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You
by giving up my life to you For all that You've given to me.

Chorus:
I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, when I keep on letting you down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abounds?"
And you answer: " My child, I love you.
And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace."

The Cry of Children and Youth

2011-10-26T22:39:00.001+08:00

Just came back from Sunday School training organized by my homechurch. The trainers are from Scripture Union Singapore. They are amazing people with great passion for the work of God in young people's lives. We had fun and learned a lot. I'm grateful that I was there. It was such an encouragement for me to press on in the ministry to young people.

And it's a song that one of the trainer introduced to us.

I can't wait to listen to more children singing this song earnestly from their heart. I think one of the joy of ministering to young people is when I will know that 10, 20, 30 years from now they still love God and serve God faithfully.

Voicing God's Psalms: A Festival of Psalms

2011-10-05T17:05:00.000+08:00

In TTC chapel today, we were having a festival of psalms. It is mentioned in the booklet that the order of worship is based on the book "Voicing God's Psalms" by Calvin Seerveld, Professor Emeritus of Philosophical Aesthetics at the Institute of Christian Studies, Toronta, Ontario Canada (Used by permission.)

More information from the booklet:

In his book, Seerveld arranged his translations of the Psalms into nine themes: Torah, Melchizedek, enemies, repentance and forgiveness, wrestling with the LORD, comfort, trusting God, God-promises and hallelujah. The book contains thirty seven psalms from the book of Psalms and several psalmic passages from the Old and New Testaments.

In his introduction, Calvin Seerveld wrote: "God's psalms contained the Older First Testament, as well as the "psalms" in the Second Newer Testament, are meant to be heard. For God's psalms to be heard, somebody must read them. To learn to read the biblical book of Psalms, one does well to realize and not a simple prose series of human declarations. The biblical psalms have the LORD God talking through the embattled confessions of children adopted by God who are in the grip of God's Spirit. Yet, in the psalms, God is also talking live to anybody today, worldwide, who will listen."

The order of worship follows the nine themes featuring one or two of the psalm under each heading. It is hoped that from this worship experience the faithful will be inspired to revisit the psalms and use them creatively in worship.

TORAH (God's Law)

"We are cradeled as human creatures in God's fantastic and ordered world"

Psalm 8

Psalm 8 celebrates the amazing LORD God whose creatures, like the starts and prowling animals, are astonishing wonders. And God makes us small humans to be lords over all these creatures.

MELCHIZEDEK

"Our daily life happens amid a rough tumble of public historical struggles in from of God's face."

Psalm 2

Psalm 2 confronts us with the historical reality of power politics. Yet the LORD God laughs at every Nebuchadnezzar and Herod who vaunts his cruel domination. The LORD promises that those whom God anoints will be safe from the Evil principalities which beset us. Whoever follows the Anointed Messiah, the Christ, will find shelter.

ENEMIES

"Entreating God for help against implacable enemies can teach us to voice unashamed expectation of rescue"

Psalm 22

Psalm 22 contains the anguished cry Christ quote on the cross: "My God, O my God, why have you left me in the lurch? You cared for me as a baby and have always saved my forebears. Lowering evil persons are set to make mincemeat of me - I'm scared to death! Hurry up! Help me!" and the last paragraph of Psalm 22 - which Christ also know ended the psalm - thanks the LORD for coming through with rescue: so I'll praise the LORD right here among the congregated faithful!

REPENTANCE AND FORGIVENESS

"Nothing frees us up like coming clean before God about our sin. Brutally honest prayer to the LORD, admitting guilt and nakedly beseeching forgiveness, brings merciful relief."

Psalm 51

Psalm 51 has not a single word of excuse, because David was caught by God red-handed in adultery and murder. "Iam a pervert!"cries the sinner. :But do not take your Holy Spirit away from me! O God, wash me until I become whiter than snow. Save me from myself! Do not reject my chastened heart yielded up to you as an offering." A later coda incorporates this personal confession of sin into a liturgical worship setting for rebuilding the city of God.

Kyrie Eleison

Psalm 130

Psalm 130 cries out to the LORD from the depth of despair: If you, O God, kept track of guilty wrongdoings, who could ever withstand such judgment! But the LORD God sets people free and wipes out transgressions! Anticipate that merciful, saving Word of the LORD they way a night watchman waits for the light in the morning.

Out of the Direst Depths

WRESTLING WITH THE LORD

"When a person has to hang tough for the long haul, direct intimate talk with God can revive the zest of being hopeful and the thirst for the LORD's coming."

Psalm 139

Psalm 139 is a most intense expression of intimacy and love about how utterly and unfathomably the LORD God knows me, my habits and quirks, even my provisional thoughts, my every day from the womb to the grave. There is nowhere and no time I am not held safe in God's embrace. So let me curse those who hate you, LORD, utters the psalmist. But make certain, O God, that I myself am pure at heart and hold me with your hand on the way of everlasting life.

COMFORT

"The comfort God gives for our down times is ongoing and lasts forever"

Psalm 90

Psalm 90 recognizes that our 70 or 80 years of many troubles and occasional joys flash by like just yesterday to God. But you, my LORD, says the psalmist, have always been the place where we can feel at home. So, gentle us with the smile of laughter, LORD God.

TRUSTING GOD

"Trusting the LORD to carry us through difficulties leads to our being surprised by receiving more than we need, so we want to dance at the surplus of God's grace."

Psalm 62

Psalm 62 teaches that only God is the Rock to which one can run for refuge. Aggressive deception, accumulation of goods, importance gained by violence all bring agitated insecurity. Only near God can a person find the stillness of peace.

In God alone my soul can find rest and peace,
in God my peace and joy
Only in God my soul can find its rest,
find its rest and peace

GOD PROMISES

"The LORD God's promises of deliverance from evil and the rule of shalom coming are freely offered to all who hear the Word to be daily obedient like God's servant the sun."

Psalm 34

The thematic development of Psalm 34 moves from praise for God's deliverance to wisdom instruction in "the fear of the LORD." The person who sings this psalm commits to praising the LORD and calls all people to do the same, for God delivers and protects those who fear the LORD. "Taste and see," exhorts the psalmist, that this is so. Instruction in "the fear of the LORD" points to seeking God's peace and keetping the tongue from evil.

PS: I actually prefer this video. But they don't allow me to embed here. Check it out! It's my favourite song of today :)

HALLELUJAH

"Happy hours are good times to praise Yahweh in the company of the faithful"

Psalm 103

Psalm 103 celebrates richly the tender, forbearing mercies of the LORD who does not deal with us according to our sins. As far as East is from West, so far God removes from us our dirty deeds. The LORD knows we are feeble earthlings, but remains faithful to generations of those who remember to do God's will. Along with all the angels, let all of me too praise the LORD!

Bless the LORD, O my soul

and all that is within me

Praise and bless the LORD,

O my soul,

Bless God's Holy name

Music by: Timothy Kimbrough

The Blessings of Teen Ministry

2011-09-25T07:03:00.001+08:00

The church assigned me to be in charge of Teen Ministry which targets secondary school students. Our initial move is to start a Teen Service, which is scheduled every Sunday at 11am (concurrent with the Main Service II). Since April, I always attend the Main Service I (9-10.30am), followed by supervising the Teen Service. I am involved in this ministry in several ways: taking attendance and reporting it to the Worship Service Division, leading worship, supervising music rehearsals, arranging ministry schedule (WL, musicians, ushers), and updating prayer requests (Teen Ministry supervisors try to pray for the teens regularly).

It has been five months since we started our Teen Service. Thank God the ministry is growing in quality and quantity. When I sit down and prepare for this reflection, I was once again amazed by how God works in my life through this Teen Ministry. I was involved in this ministry with the expectation of being able to change people’s lives, but I came to realize now that I have also changed. As the ministry grows, all the people involved also grow: the teens and all supervisors, including me. Here how I have grown:

· Grow in knowledge

“… Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (I Peter 3:15)

Some of the teens are trying hard to find answers to their questions about God. They would ask me questions like, “If God is good, how come there is suffering and natural disasters?,” “The Bible was written by human, how can we be sure of its validity as the source of truth, as Word of God?,” etc. They told me that they got this kind of questions from their non-believer friends and they couldn’t provide answers.

When they came to me for the first time with these questions, I also sometimes could not answer it. Then I became keener in reading on those topics. I would go to book store to buy books and other types of resources to be able to answer them in a way that is easily understood. I think I am now more prepared to give reasons to my faith, not just to the teens, but to everyone who would ask me, and I must thank the teens. It is because of them, their questions, that I was encouraged to be better equipped.

· Grow in patience

“As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” (Eph 4:1-3)

Teens are still teens. A few of them still sometimes skip church or arrived in church very late with “unacceptable” excuses like: “I slept very late and I found it difficult to get up in the morning”, “I had CCA and after that went out with my friends yesterday. I feel very tired so I don’t go to church.” I honestly sometimes was irked with these kinds of answers. I felt like sarcastically answered them, “Use your alarm”, “Ask you friend to wake you up,”, “Don’t stay up until late”, “The service is at 11! It’s not THAT early”. But, of course, I restrained myself from saying that. I would normally tell them to learn from the mistake and not to repeat it later. But sometimes they just don’t learn their lesson and they will do it again next time.

I once thought of offering a morning call, but I buried that idea. I do not want to nag at them all the times as I believe it will not be effective. I decided to be patience with them because I realize that spiritual growth does not come in an instant. It must come from their understanding of the importance of worship and on how eager they are willing to grow in their relationship with God. And who can help with this matter? The Holy Spirit. I decided to pray more that God will bring them to His presence. So every Sunday morning on the way to church in the bus I always pray for each of them a simple prayer to God, “God, please get them up early in the morning and draw them to worship you today.”

· Grow in willingness to serve

One thing that impressed and encouraged me a lot is their willingness to serve the LORD. Many of them are really talented and quite experienced in worship leading or serving as musician. Quite often when I assigned one person to become musician for the following Teen Service, another person would come to me and ask me to include him/her to be additional musician. So, instead of having one, we have two musicians. Or when I assigned someone to be worship leader but he can’t make it the following week, it is easy to find a replacement. They accepted this responsibility with excitement. I was encouraged to know that they long to serve God, and it prompted me to look at myself. Am I that excited in accepting a ministry? Not really. I think I still need to learn from them on this matter. I thank God for making them a reminder to me.

What would I do differently?

-T - The tough questions they asked me was expressed only when I was talking one-to-one with them or in a very small group. They do not really have the courage to ask question in front of everyone. So I think it is important to hang out with them more often or form a small group for those who are interested to pursue this matter further.

- People who serve in performance-based ministry (such as WL, musicians, multimedia) could get easily fall into the “pride” trap. They want others to see them instead of God. I will need to remind them the danger of pride, the importance of humility, and the need to constantly checking their motivation in serving God. Is it because they want to show their abilities? Or is it an act of gratitude that God has given them those abilities?

The Colour of Language

2011-09-17T13:36:00.004+08:00

When I learn languages I like, I will have very colourful notes :) I developed this habit since I was in secondary school (junior high school) as at that time I realised that I'm a visual person. My brain works better when I see colours in my books or notes.

I dare to say that my English notes are the most colourful among my friends in junior and senior high school. Unfortunately, my Bahasa Indonesia notes is not that colourful. Hehe... (read carefully above, I told you that it is only for the languages that I like :p )

Here is one proof. Below is picture taken from my Japanese notes (I studied Japanese in 2008 for one year). It's colourful, and you can see pictures also! The sensei (teacher) showed us a lot of cute pictures that helps me to understand better! :) I still keep my Japanese notes hoping that one day I can brush up on my Japanese. Maybe after I finish Hebrew and Greek? :p

So why did I suddenly I bring this up? Because I just finished my two-weeks mid-semester break, and during the break I tried to come up with summary notes for Hebrew and Greek. I spent a few days doing it. Once I started, sometimes I couldn't stop because I really enjoy doing it! Here's the result.

Greek summary

Hebrew summary

Done!

I hope this colourful summary can help me in my study :)

By the way, the point that I would like to make here is that it is very helpful for us to know what type of learner we are: visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. If you have not found out what type of learner you are, it is never too late. Just google "learning style VARK model" and you will get lots of information about it :) VARK model is not the only model. You can try other models, too! :)

Happy learning! \ ^o^ /

Angklung @ TTC Cultural Night 2011

2011-08-31T14:42:00.001+08:00

What a lovely poster right? Very colourful and ethnic. I love it.
It's the poster for TTC Cultural Night 2011.
Cultural Night is an annual event at TTC. On this day, students from many countries cook their traditional food and perform something that introduces a glimpse of their countries.
This year we, Indonesian students, decided to play angklung, an Indonesian traditional musical instrument originated from Sundanese tribe in Java. We played two songs: one Indonesian song titled "Ampar Ampar Pisang" from Kalimantan and a hymn, "Amazing Grace". You can check the video below.

The response from the school was great and we were offered to play angklung again during TTC Thanksgiving Dinner in October.
I'm happy because we can both promote Indonesian culture and praising God with our traditional instrument :)

Behold the Lamb (Communion Hymn)

2011-08-31T14:21:00.000+08:00

Today is Holy Communion in TTC Chapel. During holy communion two of my classmates sang "Behold the Lamb". It's the first time I heard this song and I think both the lyrics and the tune are so beautiful.

Behold the Lamb who bears our sins away,
Slain for us: and we remember
The promise made that all who come in faith
Find forgiveness at the cross.

So we share in this Bread of life,
And we drink of His sacrifice,
As a sign of our bonds of peace
Around the table of the King.

The body of our Savior, Jesus Christ,
Torn for you: eat and remember
The wounds that heal, the death that brings us life,
Paid the price to make us one.

The blood that cleanses every stain of sin,
Shed for you: drink and remember
He drained death's cup that all may enter in
To receive the life of God.

And so with thankfulness and faith
We rise to respond: and to remember.
Our call to follow in the steps of Christ
As His body here on earth.

As we share in His suffering,
We proclaim: Christ will come again!
And we'll join in the feast of heaven
Around the table of the King.

Keith, Getty, Kristyn Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright 2007 Thankyou Music

Be Still for the Presence of the Lord

2011-08-25T18:03:00.001+08:00

This is the song that I most remember from the Day of Prayer.

Be still for the presence of the Lord

The holy one is here

Come bow before him now

With reverence and fear

In him no sin is found

We stand on holy ground

Be still for the presence of the Lord

The holy one is here

Be still for the glory of the Lord

Is shining all around

He burns with holy fire

With splendour he is crowned

How awesome is the sight

Our radiant king of light

Be still for the glory of the Lord

Is shining all around

Be still for the power of the Lord

Is moving in this place

He comes to cleanse and heal

To minister his grace

No work to hard for him

In faith receive from him

Be still for the power of the Lord

Is moving in this place

TTC Day of Prayer 2011

2011-08-22T07:06:00.001+08:00

Good things are meant to be shared.

This time I would like to share with you the sermon by one of the professors in TTC for our annual Day of Prayer.
I'm glad to find out in that they post the sermon on TTC Website. I would encourage ALL of you to take time to read it. It is truly a sermon not to be missed! I do hope it will contribute to growth in your prayer life, just as it has done to me. You can find the sermon here.

Another thing is I really like the poster. It is simple. And the strength is its simplicity. And it's also brilliant. It is TTC logo and the "ren" (Chinese word for "person"/"people") consists of The Lord's Prayer in Greek, Latin, Vietnamese, Korean, Chinese, English, and Bahasa. I personally request the designer to provide me soft copy. Here it is.

Ok, now let the picture not distract you from the sermon. Click the link to the sermon NOW! :D

Compliment & Criticism

2011-08-20T12:55:00.000+08:00

Compliment & criticism...

Both are dangerous.

Compliment can make us steal God's glory. ("Yes, I am good!")

Criticism can discourage us to the point that we went down to bitterness or make us quit. ("I can't stand it!")

So... Be aware of both!

But both can also be good.

Compliment can give you opportunity to testify of God's goodness. ("It is not me, but God" - must say it with both our mouth and our heart, beware of hypocrisy!)

Criticism, if they are constructive ones, can actually lead to awareness of our weaknesses, motivate us to improve and make us be more depending of God.

So... Embrace both! :)

Why am I suddenly thinking about compliments? Because lately I have been showered with lots of compliments. A good subject rep, a good testimony, good teen ministry, good this, good that. Sometimes I feel so tired. Why? Because everytime people compliment me, I need to take time to check myself whether I'm giving the glory back to God or not.

Of course I can't blame others for giving me compliments. I believe they have good intention, which is to encourage me to keep doing good work. But how I process compliments and how they affected me also get me to think that I should also be careful in receiving compliments and in giving compliments to others because compliments can destroy a person instead of building them.

And why am I suddenly thinking about criticism? Because lately me and my friends have been giving a lot of criticism to others, especially pastors and lecturers. This pastor can't preach well. That pastor is very weak in pastoral care. This lecturer don't know what he is talking about.

And it hit me. I realise one day I will stand on the pulpit preaching and many people will comment on my sermon. Or maybe one day I will stand in front of the class teaching and my students will talk about how they are disappointed with how I teach or my incapabilities to teach.

Am I afraid? I don't think I should. I know it will be tough, but hopefully, by God's grace, I can ignore "bad" criticism and embrace "good" one. I've seen people doing that. Nothing is impossible with God.

Will I keep criticising others? Yes. But with caution. I will try to give "good" criticism (feedback). And I will find balance between criticising (giving feedback to others) and criticising myself.

God, help me.

More Thanksgiving

2011-08-04T00:44:00.001+08:00

First...

I received the above software a few days ago. It is a testimony of how God provides for me. I did not spend any single cents to purchase it. Since early this semester I was thinking that I would need to buy it because it is such a great investment. Throughout the semester God provides for me through some friends who gave me love gifts.

Second...
I received my education report. I was surprised because my grade for the 2nd semester is above what I targeted.
Old Testament II A-
New Testament II A-
Church History Survey II A
World Religion (Isl.) A-
Theology II A-

Third...
I can continue my scholarship because my average grade fulfilled what is required by my sponsor :)
I'm thankful to God for providing me scholarship! The cost of studying in Singapore is quite high. I am reminded of it as I received a copy of bill from the school a few days ago.

Thank you, Lord!

Testimony/Thanksgiving-Based Evening Vesper

2011-08-02T22:24:00.000+08:00

Today I have the privilege to lead TTC evening vesper/prayer for the second time. The first time I did it was on March and it was my favourite "sytle", meditative (based on Lectio Divina). Today is my second favourite style, the testimony-thanksgiving based style. The Scripture Reading assigned to me was Matthew 6:1-4.

What did I do?
1. Read Matthew 6:1-4.
2. Pray and ponder.
3. Take one point of message.
4. Contextualise it for TTC students and testimony/thanksgiving-based "style" of evening vesper.
5. Write my testimony/thanksgiving
6. Ask the chaplain for feedback
7. Edit, edit, and edit
8. Practice reading it
9. Pray, pray, pray

The testimony is not intended to be a sermon, and I did not open any other book/commentaries/software except my NRSV Bible. And here is my testimony/thanksgiving:

"It is natural for humans to demand signs. We are created with senses: to see, to hear, to smell, to savor, and to touch. We also naturally feel excited with something extraordinary.

I am no exception. During my one year plus studying in TTC, I always yearn for inspiring moments. I feel so excited and grateful when the lecturer says something that is relevant to my life or when they share their wonderful life experiences. I am grateful when the speakers in the chapel share something that touches my heart. I thank God for moments when I read textbook and feel that God really speaks to me personally through what I read. I am touched when my friend takes time to come to me and ask me how I am doing. I am happy when TTC won the trophy of Intercollege Games Day and I got treated at Subway (meaning that I have a valid reason to skip dining hall meal).

Those moments are special. Those moments makes me feel good. Those moments make me shout in my heart, “Wow, thank you, Lord. You are awesome! I know that you are with me!”

But, the reality is, I don’t always have that inspiring moments. Most of my days in TTC are routine and mundane: weekly reading assignments & Bible quizzes, eating dining hall food, doing my cluster cleaning, classes, chapels, evening vespers, class groups and family group.

But today’s Bible reading reminds that God does not work through extraordinary things only. It means he works and speaks to me through ordinary and mundane stuffs in my life. It is my incapability to grasp it. I am just not sensitive enough to see His presence in those mundane stuffs.

When I ponder about it, God shed some light to me on how he works through ordinary things. And just as I thank God for the extraordinary thing, I also want to thank God for the ordinary thing. I took time to come up with a list of thanksgiving for ordinary activities and for people who do "mundane" things. I will read to you my thanksgiving list:

Lord, thank you for the ordinary mundane things that you give me to do (reading, going to chapel, attending family group) because these things are forming me spiritually, although I might not appreciate how important these things are now.

Lord, I thank you for administration and finance staffs in TTC. They have been working so hard in arranging the classes, issuing my transcripts, liaising directly with my sponsor so I don’t have to be worried about paying the tuition fee, organizing allowance for my international friends. I believe there are many other things they do that I do not know, so I thank you for them.

I thank you, Lord, for cooking staffs in dining hall and cafeteria. Every morning they wake up as early as 5am to cook for me so I can eat on time and be physically prepared for every activity that I have each day. Because of them I do not need to spend time planning what to eat or spend time to go out to eat.

Lord, thank you for the cleaners. They keep TTC toilet clean.

Lord, I also thank you for the housekeeping staff, who makes sure the aircons are working, fix our toilet pipe, fix our doors, change our light bulbs, provide cleaning tools, and do many other things for us.

Thank you, Lord, for those people who are doing mundane stuff that we sometimes don’t even realize. I know that you also work in our life through them."

The evening vesper was only 15 minutes long. After the evening vesper ended, a senior came to me, shook my hands, thank me, and told me, "I was just complaint about mundane stuffs yesterday, and what you share is a great reminder to me."

I was stunned. A coincidence? Looks like, but of course it's not! I believe it is God speaking to my senior through me, an ordinary person.

Some last points:

1. Thanking God for routine and mundane stuffs is not a one-time thing. It is a very difficult habit to cultivate. It is a lifetime learning. This week is just another point of time where I was reminded again by God about it.

2. I think I'm addicted to leading evening vesper :) I still have two other "style" to try, liturgical and contemporary. But I don't think I will be given a chance to lead evening vespers again. Guess it's time to pass the baton to the juniors.

3. Everyone can give testimony and be used by God to be a blessing! All we need to do is read the Scripture silently and prayerfully.

The Second Half of 2011

2011-07-24T19:56:00.002+08:00

I'm so miss my blog :)

TTC Life
New semester has started for 2 weeks. This semester I take 5 module: Interpretation to Biblical Introduction (IBI), The Book of Job, Greek, Pastoral Care, and Hebrew.
1. IBI for me is very important. Why? Because it's been the regulation of my home church that if someone is to preach a sermon in the fellowship or worship service/chapel, he/she must have taken Hermeneutics (interpretation) and Homiletics (preaching). One thing I like most from IBI is the power point presentation shown by the lecturer. It is the most systematically and wonderfully crafted ppt presentation I have ever seen in my whole life. Honestly, I'm amazed. I'm a visual person. A good power point presentation definitely helps me in learning faster :) Beside that I really like it when he starts every session with a thoughtful, reflective, and relevant sharing of the Word of God :)
2. The Book of Job module is special. It's an intensive course held 3 times a week from 11 July to 11 August and it is taught by Prof. S., a visiting professor from Princeton Theological Seminary, USA. An inspiring man who is greatly passionate about Old Testament and its literature. In class he is teaching in English, but he would hold a Hebrew Bible with him all the time. I never see him with his English Bible :p Prof. S is a nice person. There was once I was in the faculty office compound and was talking to a lady who takes the same module, Prof. S came to us, chat with us while doing some photocopy works, and suddenly looked at his watch and said, "Well, I think it's time for coffee. Shall we go to the cafeteria?". He treated us coffee and we were having a get-to-know-each-other session. He told me that it is love at the first sight with Old Testament. He was in the "Introduction to the Old Testament" class. The professor that taught him was awesome and since first day he just loved it and very excited about OT.
3. Greek. Finally! A Biblical language! I've been waiting for it and very excited about the idea of studying the Bible in its original language. For me, if I can read the Bible in its original language, it is like understanding God's Word in a much wider and deeper perspective. I'm just too excited! :) It's been two weeks now. Honestly I think it's difficult. Hehe... But I will definitely press on!
4. Pastoral Care. I took it because it is a core module. That's all. Nothing very excited about it. I don't dislike it, but I also definitely not excited about it. Our lecturer is a Christian mental health professional who happened to take Theology in his college time. Hmm...
5. Hebrew. Another Biblical language! :D But we haven't started yet because Hebrew will start after The Book of Job module ends. I'm so so so excited! I was told that the language will be very foreign to us. And Prof S also always encourages us in Job class to take Hebrew. Hebrew is, as I quoted him, "a very beautiful language". I'm becoming more excited to study Hebrew because of Job class. The Book of Job is a Hebrew poetry. Studying Job without a knowledge of Hebrew is like studying an English poetry without knowing English. Many times when I sat in Job class I would say to myself, "I wish I knew Hebrew". What a pain!

IEC Singapore
- Thankful to God for R, a deacon from Bandung whom God sent to study in SBC now. A great musician and youth worker. Now hopefully I can concentrate in Teen Ministry :)
- Thankful to God for Teen Ministry. The passion to serve and the longing to bring new friends are there. It's a good sign. God sent more and more teens for us to serve and pastor. My senior pastor, elders, fellow teen-workers, and friends have been very supportive all the way. Even the youths have been very supportive. Like what happened today.
Today, J, a youth (girl) from Bandung, is coming to Singapore for holiday. J is quite known in our church community as she usually does a duo performance with K, another youth who is our church member. They would upload their video on Youtube. That's how we know them. J&K planned to perform in the Main Service only. But... they (and 3 other friends) surprised us by also performing at the Teen Service.Our Main Service is held at the same time with our teen service. I was, of course, thinking that they had to choose whether to perform in Main Service or Teen Service, and if they planned to perform in Teen Service, they would have let me know first. Since they didn't say anything, I took it that they would only perform in the Main Service. But... they took time to perform in Teen Service! I was surprised. After their performance in Teen Service they literally had to rush to the Main Service which was held upstairs. The song they sang and the determination of 5 very talented young people to proclaim God with their God-given talent that really touched me. I can see that the teens were so inspired! :) Anyway, I recorded their performance and has been playing the song again and again on my way back in TTC. I was almost in tears... :)
This is the song they sang, but today's performance has more people and better improvisation :)

TTC Retreat 2011 Day 2

2011-07-07T21:27:00.001+08:00

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow...

All your ways are good
All your ways are sure
I will trust in you alone
Higher than my side
High above my life
I will trust in you alone

Where you go, I'll go
Where you stay, I'll stay
When you move, I'll move
I will follow you
Who you love, I'll love
How you serve I'll serve
If this life I lose, I will follow you
I will follow you

Light unto the world
Light unto my life
I will live for you alone
You're the one I seek
Knowing I will find
All I need in you alone, in you alone

In you there's life everlasting
In you there's freedom for my soul
In you there joy, unending joy
and I will follow

TTC Retreat 2011 Day 1

2011-07-07T07:31:00.000+08:00

I, the Lord of sea and sky,
I have heard My people cry.
All who dwell in dark and sin,
My hand will save.
I who made the stars of night,
I will make their darkness bright.
Who will bear My light to them?
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

I, the Lord of wind and flame,
I will tend the poor and lame.
I will set a feast for them,
My hand will save
Finest bread I will provide,
Till their hearts be satisfied.
I will give My life to them,
Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord?
I have heard You calling in the night.
I will go Lord, if You lead me.
I will hold Your people in my heart.

Prayer in Teen Ministry

2011-05-05T09:26:00.001+08:00

It's another reflection done as a requirement for Field Education.
4.1 Reflect on event or encounter described

Background information: Our church started Teen Sunday Service since 3 Apr and it is for secondary 1 to secondary 4 students. Before Teen Sunday Service started, sec 1 & 2 students were in Sunday School and sec 3&4 students were in Sunday Service. Three people are in-charge of Teen Ministry: one as advisor (Mr. Pet, a father of two teens) and two as coordinators (Fen and me).

Reflection: In our church monthly meeting on (Sunday, 10 Apr), my senior pastor advised all advisor and coordinators of Teen Ministry to come out with a list of names of all the teens and to pray for them regularly. We think it is a great idea and we decided to pray for them every day. I am in charge of sending Mr. Pet and Fen the prayer lists every morning through emails. We currently have 16 names in our list, so we would pray for 2-3 of them each day from Monday to Saturday, while every Sunday morning we would pray especially for Teen Sunday Service.

This idea of praying for them (and for us coordinators) every day turns out to be very enriching and beneficial because:

It cultivates a heart of gratitude

When I send e-mail to Mr. Pet and Fen, I would include a word of thanksgiving. There are many things to be thankful for: for newcomers (we started with 11 people and now we have 16), for the better fellowship among them and between us and them, for every opportunity to share to them, for the gifts that God gave them and their enthusiasm to use them in ministry, and for many other things. Sometimes Mr. Pet and Fen would also reply with their words of thanksgiving.

It cultivates a heart of dependence to God

Prayers truly humble us. We are made realized that it is God who starts and who nurtures. We are just tools in His hands. Before we started Teen Sunday Service, one of my classmate shared to me about her youth ministry experience in other church. There was once when she lead worship, none of the youth sang or responded to what she said or asked. As a result of hearing that story, I always ask Mr. Pet and Fen to pray in our preparation of Teen Sunday Service and to pray for the teens so that they would gladly sing for the Lord and eagerly listen to Word of God. We humans definitely have lots of limitations. Our words alone will not be able to drive them to worship God. It is the Holy Spirit. Thank God in every Service most of them sings and listens carefully to the sermon, some of them even take note.

It cultivates a heart of caring

When we started to pray for them every day, we would start to think what to pray for them. This encourages us to approach them every Sunday to talk to them, asking them about school life or family (in Singapore or Indonesia). Sometimes we would call/sms/send message through Facebook to follow-up with them during weekdays.

In conclusion, prayers grow my relationship with God and with others (Mr. Pet, Fen, the teens)

4.2 What would you do differently if you could do it all over again?

No regrets in starting this daily prayer list. We have been given an exhortation to pray without ceasing, and yes, we would surely do.

P.U.S.H! Pray Until Something Happen

My Church History Experience

2011-04-30T08:47:00.000+08:00

I'd like to share my testimony that I read to the class yesterday, at the last lesson of one-year of Church History Survey. It is a respond to Dr. L's (the lecturer) e-mail invitation to the class. Let me quote his invitation email:

" At our final lesson next week, I intend to give some time for you to share about how our Church History course (both Parts I and II) has impacted you (if at all): Was there something you have learnt which changed your point of view, the way you live, or the way you carry out your ministry? Through your sharing, I hope that we can see some concrete examples of how what happens in the classroom or in our own reading can come to life. I also hope that these examples will also serve as guides for the rest of us as we try to make the transition from the classroom to the "practical" business of living and doing ministry."

So here it is:

A Testimony of My Experience as Student of Church History Class

Trinity Theological College 2010/2011

Dedicated to Dr. LTH, Lecturer of Church History Survey at TTC

The early experience of Church History was quite unpleasant as I saw it more on memorizing names, places, and facts. I found it very difficult to follow Sunquist's book. I would fall asleep every time I read it.

Pressure heightened when I had to face reality… the first test. How to do well in test if I don’t read the book?

God is good, He gave me gradual encouragement. The starting point of my "awakening" is when we started discussion on martyrdom, especially when we discussed the primary source reading on Martyrdom in Lyon. In addition to that, Dr. Leow’s family group presented about martyrdom in one of the Friday chapel. Then, I started to realize that Church History is not only about memorizing facts, but to learn from the people or events that happened.

By knowing the life and death of those martyrs really strengthen my faith. They are heroes of faith and I can learn from them about defending Christ until death. It is not something that is impossible. Many people in the past have gone through it. Well, I don’t know about my future, where I will go. I might be in Indonesia, in a place where persecution does happen and the threat of suffering of death can be real. And learning from martyrs really gives me strength and hope to face even the most fearsome situation.

Secondly, the first semester’s assignment which we were asked to write an imaginary letter to one of the church fathers. I wrote to St. Benedict of Nursia, the founder of Western Christian monasticism. I felt that it is quite relevant for me as a hostelite in TTC. I titled my paper “Spirituality in Community”. The idea of spirituality and community always interest me, and here as a hostelite in TTC I have a combination of both. To make it short, I would say that this paper make me realize that me and XJ, as Community Living Committee, must work closely and hand-in hand with EY and SK as Spiritual Formation Committee, to integrate spirituality into the community. There are some forms of communal worship or activities that can really contribute to TTC student’s spiritual & community life altogether.

Church History also makes me realize that God’s design is way better than human design. One example is Dr. L’s lecture and the reading about John Calvin’s life in Gonzales’ book. When we talk about John Calvin, he is always associated with one place named Geneva. Interestingly, he never intends to stay in Geneva. He thought that his gifts were those of scholar and author, not pastor or leader. He decided to settle in Strasbourg, but the direct route to Strasbourg at that time was closed by military operation, and Calvin had to make a detour through Geneva. Calvin arrived at Geneva with the intention of stopping there for no more than a day. But Farel, a missionary, told Calvin that his presence in Geneva is needed. Calvin was not convinced by Farel and explained that he has planned to go for studies. In the end Farel challenged Calvin with a threat: “May God condemn the calm you seek for study, if before such a great need you withdraw, and refuse your help.” Calvin mentioned that those words shocked and broke him, and he desisted from the journey he had begun, and thus began his career as the reformer of Geneva.

Truly, God’s design is better than human’s plan. Some of us plan to study further, some others plan to teach, some others to pastor in one particular country or church, or to be a missionary. Yes, we can plan our future, but we are not supposed to hold on tight on it. By reading these biographies, I was reminded to keep in tune with God. I was also encouraged to know that even what God plans might not be the same with what I want, but His plan is definitely greater and better, and I need to learn to obey whatever He wants me to do and just to trust Him that He provided what best.

The last but not least, I learned about the utmost importance of mission. I learned about it especially from the readings and group papers about the Church History in Asia. All churches in Asia were started by missionaries from Europe or America. The fact that we stand here today as believers is prove of God’s work through those missionaries’ dedication. Thank God for them.

In my church, we have several young people that decided to give their life to God to be missionaries. I really thank God for them. I think it is also my duty to assist them, nurturing their faith and keep them in their commitment to follow God’s calling to be missionaries. It is definitely not easy to follow God. Living in the world (particularly in Singapore) where people admire wealth, fame, power, can discourage them to follow God’s calling.

What can I do to encourage them should they discouraged? I can share with them about the church history in Asia (Vietnam, Korea, Myanmar, Cambodia, Malaysia, China, etc). From the group who presented about Lun Bawang people, we see the growth of the tribe into one of the biggest denomination in Malaysia, SIB. My group’s paper is on church history in Korea. We see how today Korea is the country with the biggest number of missionaries sending.

By telling those stories, I want to let them know that we are here today because of the work of missionaries that was willing to leave everything and go to share the Gospel in places that they never know before. I hope these facts will help them to see the great impact of missions on one person, one group of people, one nation, one continent, and on the world as a whole. We see today that the centre of Christianity is somewhat shift to the south, one of them is Asia. Christianity grows so fast in Asia, and it all started with mission work.

To end my testimony, I would like to thank God for all this inspiration through Church History class, and to Dr. L who has taught Church History in a way that make it become meaningful. Thank you.

NB: I enjoyed my Church History class. Now I might not remember the names, places, years, and events, but the spiritual lesson I learnt from the class will always be in my heart, living in me while I'm serving God.

I'd like to thank once again to Dr. L who has given the opportunities to share. It's been great to be taught by him :)

Proclaiming God's Glory through Reality Show

2011-04-30T08:19:00.000+08:00

I just read an inspiring article from Christianity Today. It's about a guy named Matt Elrod. He is one of the contestants at the reality show "Survivor" (still on air now) and he is an outspoken Christian. He mentioned that he was in the show to proclaim God's glory. At first, I could not believe, that's why I was drawn to read the article. I was so curious.
I never watched Survivor before, but from the ads of the show I can see that there's a lot of sin (lie, talk bad about others, backstabbing, vulgarities) involved. It is interesting to follow Matt's journey on the show and how it have turned out. Click the link, read the article, and be inspired :)
'It's a Hard Place to Be'
'Survivor' Update: Hat Tip to the Almighty

Happy Easter, Come Awake!

2011-04-25T18:57:00.002+08:00

Come and See (Good Friday Reflection)

2011-04-22T05:47:00.001+08:00

It is also timely that in my OT lesson we studied the book of Job last week. Let me quote what the textbook has to say about relation between Job and Jesus:

- The early Christian community saw the connection between Job and Jesus, so it was a common practice to read the book of Job during Passion week.

- The New Testament brings us the a deeper understanding of God's dealings with suffering. In Jesus Christ he reveals his love towards his sinful creatures by sending his Son to die on the cross. Jesus Christ is the true innocent sufferer, the only one completely without sin. He voluntarily (as opposed to Job) submits himself to suffering for the benefit of sinful men and women... Jesus' death on the cross did not bring suffering to an end. Indeed, Christians are characterized by their sharing in the sufferings of the Lord. To say that Christians are removed from evil and pain of the present world on the basis of the conversion is a perversion of the gospel... Thus the book of Job retains its power for contemporary Christian. It can now, however, be properly read only in the light of the suffering of the totally innocent sufferer, Jesus Christ.

Teens

2011-04-03T22:13:00.003+08:00

Today is the first day my home church starts Teens Ministry/Sunday Service (for Secondary 1 to Secondary 4 students). We have been praying for it as we long to see them growing spiritually since their young age and we would like them to be strong in Christ in the midst of challenges they face while studying here.

Here I just wanna share (meaning: copy & paste. hehe..) my reflection. This reflection is a requirement of the Field Education Placement (which I do in my home church). I decided to put it in as it is related to Teen Ministry that we just started. Enjoy reading!

1. Write a brief description of an important, difficult, or rewarding event or personal encounter:

During one of the preparation meetings to start Teens Ministry, when we are trying to find out what are teens struggle with nowadays, Mr. PJ (a father of 2 teens) shared the concern of her daughter (YJ) who is studying in one of the public secondary school in Singapore. When the daughter went to Malaysia for a competition, she shared a room with another student. There’s one occasion where after YJ prayed, the roommate asked her whether she is a Christian. YJ answered yes. Then the roommate started to ask questions about Christian faith, such as why she believes in Jesus, who is Jesus, why she believes that Jesus is Lord, why she believes in what the Bible says. YJ couldn’t answer some of the questions and when she went home, he started to ask the same questions to her dad, Mr. PJ. During the meeting, we conclude that we would later have some sessions on apologetics with the teens.

Reflect on event or encounter described:

Mr. PJ’s sharing reminded me of the most common issues faced by some Indonesian Christian students who study in public secondary school here. Before they came to Singapore, most of them studied in Christian school, so generally their friends are all Christians. In Indonesia, it is compulsory for all citizens to subscribe to any of the official religion, so generally people believe in God, evil, heaven and hell. It is a different case for them in Singapore, particularly in public schools. There are very few Christians. Almost all of their friends are either from other religion or atheists, free thinkers, and skeptics. Some of their friends do not believe that God exists and some others just do not care about faith or any spiritual matter.

I was then remembered that last semester I shared about this issue with an Indonesian Ph.D. candidate in TTC who is a father of two teens studying in a public school. His teen children had the same issue and he recommended them some books to read. A couple of days later, I went to a Christian bookstore. I bought “The Case for Christ (Youth Edition)” and “The Case for Faith (Student Edition)” by Lee Strobel. I read it myself and after that I gave those books to Mr. PJ with the hope of helping his teen daughter to respond to questions on Christian faith or how to defend it.

What would you do differently if you could do it all over again?

During my reflection for this particular question, I realized that my previous reflection and my respond to the situation were, in a sense, not so theological or spiritual. I had this notion that defending Christian faith is all about successfully answering all the questions that people ask.

I was reminded to my own experience in dealing with my skeptic elder brother. During his teenage years, he stopped going to church. From 2000 (my conversion) to 2006 I would try to talk to him to believe in Jesus. In 2006 I came to Singapore to work and, being far from him made me realized that I couldn’t do anything much. I realized that all I had done before was more relying on my wisdom and my words, not God’s power. Since I was in Singapore, I started to pray a lot for him, pray that God’s power through the Holy Spirit would open his eyes to the truth (1 Cor 2:4-5, 10-11). Praise the Lord, he finally received Christ in 2009 when his boss shared the gospel to him.

So, what would I do differently? In this case, what will I do next? I will emphasize to the teens that besides reading books and answering to their friends’ questions, they must pray for their friends, because it is God who changes heart, not our words. Besides praying, it is also important to live a Christlike life. People see our lives. Though we can successfully answer their questions about Christian faith, they won’t be convinced if we do not live it.

*Response from Field Education Coordinator at TTC (and definitely food for thought and for follow up):
Are there '2nd generation Christian' born-again? Have they experienced Christ's salvation and cleansing? That is, have they experienced God in a real way for them to testify Christ?

Inter-College Games Day 2011

2011-03-06T01:41:00.000+08:00

Last Friday (4 March) was one of the most anticipated day for me... It's the first Inter-College Games Day in my life! :)
Inter-College Games Day is an annual event where some seminaries in Singapore come together for worship, fellowship, games, and competition. This year we have 6 colleges taking part (TTC, SBC, EAST, TCA, BTS, BGST ). There are three games competed: Faculty Challenge, 7-a-side soccer, and captain ball.

As part of TTC Community Living Committee, I was automatically part of the committee for the Games Day. It was great to be involved in the preparation. I got to know new friends from other colleges. And it is also interesting to see how the six colleges work together to make this event successful.

Last Friday started with Church History class in the morning. Half of the class wore the legendary red TTC T-shirts. We were totally in games day and holiday mood (as we will have 2-weeks mid-semester break starting 7 March). After class, me and a couple of TTC friends went to the venue of the event, Highpoint. When we got there, some friends from BTS, with their light blue polo, were preparing the flea market (where we collect unused things from all students and sell it for $2). I helped preparing the flea market. Some guys was painting the line on the soccer fields and prepared the canned drinks.

More and more people coming. EAST wore green shirts, SBC black, while TCA has the same colour with TTC (ugh!). They started to shop at the flea market. Suddenly, it started to rain. We covered all items sold at the flea market and ran to find shelter.

I was quite worried at that time as the rains poured more heavily. But my friends kept telling me not to worry as the rain would eventually stop. They know I have been praying hard especially for the weather. If it had been raining the whole evening, we would have cancelled all the games. I kept praying in my heart that the rain would stop.

Praise the Lord the rain began to subside. All of us were instructed to get into the worship hall where we held the worship (initially planned to be at the basketball court). During worship, the rain stopped... and the games began!

First, the most exciting games of all, the Faculty Challenge. We would get to see our Principals and lecturers played some games. I'm so glad to see all faculties tried their best to win the challenge.

(left to right: church history, Prof. of systematic theology, Dean of Studies/Prof. of NT, hermeneutics, worship and liturgy )

faculty in action *so proud of them!*

Faculty Challenge was followed by fellowship games where all students from different colleges merged and divided into 15 teams. The purpose is to encourage inter-colleges friendship.

After fellowship games, 7-a-side soccer and captain ball competition started!

I was in the captain ball team as a substitute, so I will tell the stories more in a captain ball player's point of view.
First, TTC vs BTS. TTC didn't get any difficulty to win over BTS. At the first half of the game, TTC lead with 16-0. I played the second-half and during that time we were asked to slow down and practice our pass instead. I remember an exchange student from Yale told us during the half-game break, "Hey, guys! Relax! Slow down! Let us show that TTC has grace." We, who initially very determined to get more score, agreed with him. We were supposed to have fun and friendship, not to destroy the other school's spirit.

Second, TTC vs EAST. They were tough. They have a good defender/jumper, a very tall Caucasian man (one of the faculty). But in the end we won.

Third game, TTC vs TCA, red vs red. To differentiate, TTC players wore blue lanyards. It was quite a harsh game, I must say. TCA was very very driven to win. In the previous game, they lost to SBC (and it was also a very high-tension game). Both TTC and TCA argued a lot with the referee. Actually from days before the game we were warned not to do three things: swearing, fighting, arguing with the referee; but the third seemed inevitable. Some TCA players seemed quite pissed off. Thank God nothing bad happened... and we once again won.

Fourth (and last) game, TTC vs SBC, the most waited game, fighting the champion. According to our seniors, last year's final between TTC and SBC ended up bitter due to the referee's not counting our scores. This year we came back to claim our victory. Everyone was on fire!
The match was tense. In the first half, the jumper from SBC accidentally hit our catcher's face many times and it culminated with him hit our catcher right in the eyes. Our catcher looked pissed off. We thought he would refuse to continue with the game. We kept on cheering for him and some of our friends tried to calm him down. Thank God he eventually calmed down and went on with the game. First half was quite balance. Both sides would score here and there.
The second half was quite smooth. It is obvious that we scored more than SBC. TTC cheering team was getting louder and louder while SBC was getting softer. When the whistle was blown, we shout in joy! TTC captain ball team won the first place!

After the euphoria, we moved on to cheer the soccer team, so did SBC. TTC soccer team was fighting SBC in the last match of the day. The first half ended up 1-0 for SBC. But the soccer team refused to give in, they fought hard until the end. The cheering team, the eight player, was so motivated in their task. We cheered louder and louder *poor throat... working so hard*
And it's just happened. Our team scored a goal! The match ended as a draw. 1-1.

After calculating the total points from the three competition, TTC came out as the champion! Surprisingly, SBC came third and EAST came out as runner up. I think EAST has been preparing very hard for this year's games day and SBC was quite nervous to defend their championship.

The unbeatable captain ball team

We are the champion!

Some committee members (3 TTC, 2 BTS, and 1 SBC students) stayed late to settle financial matters . After we finish, four of us (3 TTC and 1 SBC student) had dinner at Adam Rd Food Centre (near SBC). We dropped by SBC to send our friend and drop some items, then we went home to our lovely college. It's a very tiring but sweet day :)

As to why the captain ball team was strong. It's because they have been practising hard for the whole year every Wednesday evening *which I never be able to join as I usually go for prayer meeting*. In the past month before games day, they practised twice a week. I myself had 3 practise session with the rest of the team. Having been playing together for one year, they grew up loving the game. They totally had fun. Through the discipline of practise, they also got to understand each other's style of playing, strength, and weaknesses. Each of them would cover for other's weaknesses. Beautiful, isn't it?

Discipline. Love. Fun. Teamwork.

Konferensi Misi IEC Singapore: Bersatu Menangkan Jiwa

2011-03-05T11:38:00.000+08:00

Pekan Misi Penginjilan IEC Singapore 2011

BERSATU MENANGKAN JIWA

1) Mission Conference
SAT, 12 March ’11 | 09.30 – 17.00
YMCA, 1 Orchard Rd - Meeting Room – Lvl. 4

Speakers:
- Pdt. Buby Ticoalu, M.A., D.Min.
- Pdt. Albert Rumbo, M.Div.
- Bpk. Kurniadi Tjandra
- Bpk. David Simbar

Registration fee: $10 (for refreshment & lunch)
Registration & Information: Husen (8110 4350), Dyna (9479 1965) or iecsingapore@yahoo.com

2) Revival Meetings
SAT, 12 March ’11 | 18.00 – 19.30
YMCA, 1 Orchard Rd - Tan Chin Tuan Room – 4th floor

SUN, 13 March ’11 | 11.00 – 12.30
DBS Auditorium, 6 Shenton Way - MRT Tanjong Pagar

Speakers:
Pdt. Buby Ticoalu, M.A., D.Min.

* Free Admission, lunch & dinner are provided

Pdt. Buby N. Ticoalu adalah dosen di Seminari Alkitab Asia Tenggara (SAAT), Malang dan Sekolah Tinggi Teologi Amanat Agung (STTAA) - Jakarta. Sarjana Theologi (S.Th.) dari SAAT; Master of Arts in Religion (M.A.) dan Doctor of Ministry (D.Min.) dari Westminster Theological Seminary, U.S.A.

TTC Student Council Installation Responses

2011-02-26T08:03:00.004+08:00

At the beginning of this year I was approached by a senior to continue his role in the Student Council as the Chair/Co-Chair of Community Living at TTC. He told me that he would also approach my classmate, XJ, to offer him this role. In the end, both XJ and me agreed. It is interesting for me because in my life I have never been in any Student Council before. I used to be an introvert with no interest in getting involved in any

extracurricular activities at school or university.

On 7 Feb there was an installation service for the Student Council. A couple of days before the installation service, our incoming President Council sent to us the bulletin of the service. They put the installation responses there. Installation responses is the time where all incoming Student Council would go in front of the chapel and respond to what the principal asks. Here is the excerpts of the installation response:

Principal:  Do you believe that you have been called to serve in the Student Council of Trinity Theological College, to serve God and His Community? Are you willing to obey the teaching of our Lord Jesus, that the greatest in His Kingdom is the servant of all; and thus take your position in the Council as a privilege to serve your fellow students so as to please God?

Student Council:  Yes, with the help of God.

Principal:  Will you diligently live according to the teachings of Christ? Will you always try to be a positive example to other students, committing yourself to the work of reconciliation and love in the college? Will you work cooperatively with those placed in
charge of you, following their advice with humility and gladness?

Student Council:  We will do so by the grace of God.

Principal: Will you, the students and faculty of Trinity Theological College, covenant before God to do your part to uphold the Student Council in their ministry, by your prayers, support, encouragement, constructive feedback and advice for the benefit of all
in the Trinity Community?

TTC Community:  We will with the help of God.

Principal: Now humbly, but boldly, take up the authority and responsibility to carry out your duties and responsibilities as members of the Student Council of Trinity Theological College, in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

When I read the installation responses, I was reminded that this is a great responsibility which requires strong commitment.

We will lead the community by serving them.

It is not just any leadership position. I believe when

the previous Student Council looked for successors, they didn't do it arbitrarily. The would observe people, even prayed that God would show the right person for the role. If you look carefully to the installation response, they use the term "calling". A calling to serve the community, to live a Christlike life, to set example, to humility. A privilege, I would say.

I purposely put the installation response here in my blog to keep reminding me of who and what I should be, especially as part of TTC Community.

I believe the Lord helps me and TTC Community supports me. Amen.

Testimony at TTC Friday Chapel

2011-02-19T08:25:00.006+08:00

In TTC, we have a system called Family Group (FG). One lecturer will mentor a couple of students from different programmes and classes. We meet every Thursday from 11.30 to 12.30noon. What happened in that one hour will be decided by the group.

In TTC, we have Friday chapel. Every FG is assigned to prepare one Friday chapel per year. Our FG's turn was yesterday.

I was asked by my mentor to prepare a testimony. You will find below. By the way, I also put Chinese translation because I have a friend who has kindly translated for me :) The Chinese translation might be different from the English as I did last-minute changes here and there. Enjoy! And I hope it can be a blessing for you!

Oh ya... This sharing was inspired from my life journey during this time.

Bible reading: Luke 18:18-37

"When I read again the passage about the rich young ruler and was assigned a testimony by my FG, I was reminded of this one particular point of time in my life when I was working here as a safety trainer for foreign domestic helpers. At that time, I have received the approval letter from TTC to be admitted as a full-time student, so I submitted a resignation letter to my boss. The day after, my boss called me to meet him. In the meeting, he asked me to reconsider my resignation. Furthermore, he offered me a 20% salary increase plus monthly bonus. When I calculate, the total of increase was about $500 per month. It is a big amount of money for me!

Before I met my boss, I have actually prepared to reject any offer made by my boss. But when I realised the total amount of money he offered, I was stunned. I did not expect that. At the end of the meeting, my answer to my boss was, “Let me think about it.”

I went home and talked to God. In my chat with God, I would say things like: “God, I can still serve You through my job. I can use that additional money for ministry. Or maybe I can delay going to theological college for one year? The money that I would earn within that one year (12 x $500 = $6000) can help me in my study later, such as to buy books and cover for my daily needs.” All I did was just trying to find justification to stay in my job. I was struggling. I felt doubt.

But in the midst of my conversation with God, a song came to my mind. I believe it came from God. It was one of my favourite song, “Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus”. The refrain kept playing in my mind. It says:

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace

I cried. I felt so ashamed with myself. I told myself, “Look what Jesus did for you, Ita. He is God, but he chose to become human. He went through suffering and even gave His life for you! He left nothing for Himself! He loves You so much. He even provided scholarship for you! Why is it so difficult for you to leave $6000 behind? Why is it so difficult to put God above all else, above yourself?”

The $6000 that previously looked so precious for me has become somehow worthless after I turned my eyes again upon Jesus. The next day, I met my boss to let him know that I decided to stick with my resignation and go to theological college. He “begged” me to think again, but I told him nicely that I was firm with my decision.

I thank God who has strengthened me.

But even when I’m studying at TTC now, I was still, at times, struggling. For example, when I see others using iPad or Macbook in class, I would sometimes talk to God, “God, that is so cool! I want one.” Or I like sashimi (Japanese food and it’s quite expensive) and I sometimes crave for it. I have to keep reminding myself that I do not earn money right now.

It is the struggle of letting go what I want or what I love. The struggle of wanting more than I need, not being contented with what I have, which is what actually enough for me now. I believe this struggle is sometimes felt in all of us. It can take many forms. Many things will distract us, even hinder us, to not focus on God’s calling in our lives. Let us turn our eyes on Jesus.

Lastly, I would like to encourage all of us with the verses from Hebrew 12:1-2. These verses have been an encouragement for me in times of need.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

God bless us everyone! Thank you.

当我被家庭小组安排分享见证的时候，我再次阅读少年财主的故事。我想起在我生命当中的某个时候…那时，我的职业是外地工人的安全培训员。有一天，我接到从三一神学院寄来的全时间学生申请的批准书，所以我就向老板递辞呈。第二天，老板召见我，叫我再从新考虑，并且他愿意每月加薪20%，还有多给我每个的月花红。我屈指一算，一个月总共加五百块钱！对我来讲这是一个很大的数目噢！

在我见老板之前，其实我已准备了无论他提出任何条件我都会拒绝。可是当我意识到这是如此大的数目的时候，我呆住了，因为这是我意料之外的。在会议过后，我对老板的回复是∶“让我想想看。”

回家后我跟上帝讲，我说∶“神啊，我仍然可以透过我的工作来侍奉你，我也可以用这额外的金钱在事工上，或者我可不可以延迟一年才进神学院？这一年的金钱(12 x $500 = $6000)可以帮助我以后读书时用来购买书籍和日常生活所需。” 其实，我只是在尝试找借口留在那份工作。我内心冲满了挣扎和疑惑。

当在我与神对话的时候，一首歌涌进我的脑海中，我相信是从上帝而来的。这是我其中一首很喜欢的歌曲“当转眼仰望耶稣”，那副歌不断地在我的脑海中重播∶

当转眼仰望耶稣，定睛在祂奇妙慈容，
在救主荣耀恩典大光中，世俗事必要显為虚空。

我哭了…我为自己感到何等的羞愧。我告诉自己说∶“Ita, 看看耶稣为你所做了什么，祂是神，但祂选择了道成肉身，祂经历了很多苦难，甚至把祂的生命都给了你呀！祂对自己却毫无保留！祂这么的爱你，祂也为你提供了奖学金！放下六千块钱真是这么的难吗？把神放在一切之上，包括了你自己，为什么有这么难呢？

当我转眼仰望耶稣之后，那原本对我非常珍贵的六千块钱就变得毫无价值了。第二天，我见了老板，让他知道我决定辞职并且要去神学院，他“求”我再考虑一下，但我友善的告诉他我是坚决的。

我感谢主赐给我力量去轻看这些属世享受。

现在我虽然在三一神学院读书，但我有时候还在挣扎。比如，当我看到别人在用iPad 或Macbook 的时候，我有时候会跟上帝讲: “神哪，那很有型呀，我也想要一个。” 又譬如我喜欢吃刺生（日本料理是蛮昂贵的），当我有时候很想吃的时候，我就要提醒自己我现在没有很多的收入了。

这就是“想要”多过我实际“需要”的挣扎。对不满足于我现在拥有的一切的挣扎，其实我已经足够了。我想这挣扎在我们每个人的里头都有，只是以不同的形式出现。的确有很多的东西会使我们分心，甚至阻拦我们，使我们无法专心注目在我们的呼召上。

我希望用希伯来书12:1-2这段经文来勉励大家，让我们一起来读∶

“我们既有这许多的见证人，如同云彩围着我们，就当放下各样的着担，脱去容易缠累我们的罪，存心忍耐，奔那摆在我们前头的路程，仰望为我们信心创始成终的耶稣。他因那摆在前面的喜乐，就轻看羞辱，忍受了十字架的苦难，便坐在　神宝座的右边。”
愿神赐福大家！谢谢。

After chapel, there's one special occasion that makes me very grateful. One senior thanked me for sharing. He honestly shared to me that he has been praying whether to buy an iPhone or not. We laughed, and I replied, "Well... if God really wants you to have iPhone, I believe He will give you. But sometimes what we have now is actually enough. It's just we always want more than we need." He told me it was a good sharing and it is relevant for TTC students.
I'm just glad that the sharing has been a blessing for at least one person :)

Happy 3rd Birthday, IEC Singapore!

2011-02-14T13:51:00.000+08:00

Yesterday we were celebrating the 3rd birthday of my homechurch in Singapore, International Evangelical Church Singapore (IEC Singapore). I was asked to share a one-minute testimony. Here we go: (PS: I shared mine in Bahasa)
IEC Singapore is special, because here I found again God's calling in my life. First time I realised of God's calling to go full-time was when I was 18, but I did not follow it then. Pastor Isabel Tong (Cie Wen Ie), the first pastor in IEC Singapore, guided me on spiritual discipline so that I finally found God's calling in my life again. Rev. Jahja Santoso, second pastor, supported and encouraged me to study full-time at bible college. Rev. Gideon Ang, third pastor, gave me life examples of always share the Gospel with everyone he meets. Normally, it's me who look for pastor, but Rev. Gideon Ang was different. He would approached me, talked face to face with me, and gave me wise council of the importance of living God's specific vision in my life and to be a servant of God with a pure and genuine intention. All elders, congregation, and friends in IEC also keep supporting my in answering God's call. They support me financially, psychologically, and spiritually. I'm grateful to God for IEC Singapore. Thank you.

It's a long journey ahead. God bless us everyone! :)

Education Reports: Semester I

2011-01-24T09:35:00.003+08:00

Old Testament I A-
New Testament I A-
Church History Survey I A-
Theology I B+
Mission & Evangelism A-
GPA: 3.63

I consider the above as very good and satisfying :)

What motivates me to get good grade?
1. To brighten my parents' day. They are the type of parents who would be very happy to see 'A'.
2. To fulfil one of the requirements to continue my scholarship
3. Good grades as investment for my future. In case I will take Post-grad study.

I love my parents. I am grateful for my sponsors. And I do not know my future, how God will use me.
These three things are enough for me to (in particular) aim high on grades.

Mission accomplished for semester I!

"Why" on Ministry

2011-01-11T07:45:00.003+08:00

I've always liked "why" questions.
It reveals motivation.
It digs into the depth of the heart.
It makes aware of the unconscious.

Now I'm questioning myself, again, why?
Why am I taking ministry?
Can I say no to a ministry offered to me? Or why should I say no?
Is it 'weird' for a theological student to say no when others asked me to minister? Is it not ok for a theological student to take less ministry than others for wanting to concentrate on study? Should I care of what people think of me?

Am I taking ministry because nobody else available, or because I think that nobody else can do better than me?
Am I taking ministry to prove myself? To get a platform to develop my skills? To utilize what I have learned at school?
Am I taking ministry because it makes me feel good or feel useful?
Am I taking ministry because I just love to be the one in charge, to be able to tell others what to do?
Am I taking ministry because people have given me allowances and love gifts? Oh... yeah... money is always one of the trickiest thing on earth.
Am I taking ministry because I sense that there was a great need? Has these needs driven me to ministry? Is need-driven ministry right?

What is inside is more important than what is seen.
Works are important, but it is the motivation behind that defines the value of works.
Has the Gospel driven me? Has God's grace driven me?

-Inspired by the sermon preached by a senior at TTC on Chapel yesterday-

Kutipan dari Novel-Novel Berbahasa Indonesia

2011-01-01T09:52:00.010+08:00

Saya baru saja melewatkan 10 hari liburan di Bandung, kampung halaman tercinta.
Tidak seperti biasanya, dalam liburan ini saya sama sekali tidak tertarik untuk wisata kuliner. Saya memang lapar dan haus, tapi bukan terhadap makanan, melainkan bacaan, terutama segala bacaan berbahasa Indonesia. Target saya yang pertama adalah Buku "Marmut Merah Jambu" karya Raditya Dika, blogger yang menginspirasi saya untuk memulai blog.

Ketika saya mencari buku tersebut di salah satu toko buku terbesar di Bandung, ternyata habis. Ketika saya tanya apa ada novel tetralogi Laskar Pelangi yang buku kedua hingga keempat, petugasnya juga bilang sudah tidak ada lagi. Jadinya saya membeli Power Bible Comic edisi 5-9 (karena saya sudah membaca edisi 1-4 di Singapura). Kebetulan sedang diskon 20% :) Kemudian saya juga membeli novel "Negeri van Oranje", "Negeri 5 Menara", dan dwilogi "Padang Bulan" karya Andrea Hirata. Plus, yang selalu tidak dilupakan, komik Detektif Conan! :)

Di hari-hari setelahnya, ketika mengunjungi toko buku di mall-mall, secara terpisah saya berhasil membeli buku "Marmut Merah Jambu", Novel "Sang Pemimpi" dan "Edensor" (buku kedua dan ketiga dari tetralogi Laskar Pelangi). "Maryamah Karpov", buku keempat, tidak saya beli karena kehabisan duit (hasil kekalapan membeli buku di hari-sebelumnya) >.<

Akhirnya, selain merayakan Natal bersama keluarga dan kumpul bareng teman-teman, liburan saya lewatkan dengan membaca buku. Kebetulan (?) saya sakit batuk berat dan sempat ke dokter, jadi saya mengisi waktu istirahat di rumah dengan membaca. Semua buku yang saya beli, kecuali "Power Bible Comic 9" dan "Edensor", telah habis dibaca. Dua buku favorit saya, "Sang Pemimpi" dan "Negeri 5 Menara", saya rekomendasikan teman-teman untuk membaca! "Sang Pemimpi", jika boleh saya singkat, mendeskripsikan secara kuat arti dari persaudaraan, pengorbanan, dan perjuangan meraih mimpi. Saya dibuat tertawa dan menangis ketika membaca buku ini. Sedangkan novel "Negeri 5 Menara" sangat menyentuh kalbu dengan nasihat-nasihat tentang hidup yang sarat dengan spiritualitas (karena buku ini berkisah tentang anak-anak yang bersekolah di pondok pesantren)

Di blog post ini, saya tidak akan memberikan review, tapi hanya mengutip saja, seperti yang pernah saya lakukan pada novel "Laskar Pelangi" di postingan terdahulu. Selamat menikmati kutipan-kutipan sarat makna ini. Semoga ini mendorong teman-teman untuk membaca langsung novelnya, karena dengan mengerti konteksnya tentu teman-teman akan lebih merasakan dan mengerti secara dalam apa makna dari kutipan-kutipan ini. Namun saya juga hendak memberi peringatan kepada teman-teman, kutipan-kutipan ini mengandung spoiler! Hati-hati!

Kutipan-kutipan dari Novel “Negeri 5 Menara” karya A. Fuadi (penerima 8 beasiswa luar negeri)

Halaman 0
“Orang berilmu dan beradab tidak akan diam di kampung halaman
Tinggalkan negerimu dan merantaulah ke negeri orang
Merantaulah, kau akan dapatkan pengganti dari kerabat dan kawan
Berlelah-lelah, manisnya hidup terasa setelah lelah berjuang

Aku melihat air menjadi rusak karena diam tertahan
Jika mengalir menjadi jernih, jika tidak, kan keruh menggenang

Singa jika tak tinggalkan sarang tak akan dapat mangsa
Anak panah jika tidak tinggalkan busur tak akan kena sasaran

Jika matahari di orbitnya tidak bergerak dan terus diam
Tentu manusia bosan padanya dan enggan memandang

Bijih emas bagaikan tanah biasa sebelum digali dari tambang
Kayu gaharu tak ubahnya seperti kayu biasa jika di dalam hutan
-Imam Syafii-

Halaman 35
“Menurut Pak Kiai kamu, pendidikan Pondok Madani (PM) tidak membedakan agama dan non-agama. Semuanya satu dan semuanya berhubungan. Agama langsung dipraktekkan dalam kegiatan sehari-hari. Di Madani, agama adalah oksigen, dia ada di mana-mana.”

Halaman 41
“man jadda wajada. Siapa yang bersungguh-sungguh, akan berhasil!... Inilah pelajaran hari pertama kami di PM. Kata mutiara sederhana tapi kuat. Yang menjadi kompas kehidupan kami kelak.”

Halaman 50
“Menuntut ilmu di PM bukan buat gagah-gagahan dan bukan biar bisa bahasa asing. Tapi menuntut ilmu karena TUhan semata. Karena itulah kalian tidak akan kami beri ijazah, tidak akan kami beri ikan tapi akan mendapat ilmu dan kail. Kami, para ustad, ikhlas mendidik kalian dan kalian ikhlaskan pula niat untuk mau dididik” –Kiai Rais-

Halaman 78
Aku sempat bimbang, kenapa orang diajar menjadi seorang whistle blower?
“Sekarang semakin banyak orang semakin tak acuh dengan kebobrokan di sekitar mereka. Metode jasus adalah membangkitkan semangat untuk aware dengan ketidak beresan di masyarakat. Penyimpangan harus diluruskan... Katakanlah kebenaran walaupun itu pahit. Ini adalah self correction, untuk memberikan efek jera. Dan yang paling penting, memastikan semua warga PM sadar sesadar-sadarnya, bahwa jangan pernah meremehkan aturan yang sudah dibuat. Sekecil apapun , itulah aturan dan aturan ada untuk ditaati.”

Halaman 106
“Jangan risaukan penderitaan hari ini, jalani saja dan lihatlah apa yang akan terjadi di depan. Karena yang kita tuju bukan sekarang, tapi ada yang lebih besar dan prinsipil, yaitu menjadi manusia yang telah menemukan misinya dalam hidup... Misi yang dimaksud adalah ketika kalian melakukan sesuatu hal positif dengan kualitas sangat tinggi dan di saat yang sama menikmati prosesnya. .. Carilah misi kalian masing-masing. Mungkin misi kalian adalah belajar Al-Quran, mungkin menjadi orator, mungkin membaca puisi, mungkin menulis, mungkin apa saja. Temukan dan semoga kalian menjadi orang yang berbahagia “

Halaman 112
“Sejarah bukan seni bernostalgia, tapi sejarah adalah ibrah, pelajaran, yang bisa kita tarik ke masa sekarang, untuk mempersiapkan masa depan yang lebih baik”

Halaman 139
“Tapi ini kan hanya masalah kecil, Cuma pelajaran kesenian,” bela Ayah.
“Justru karena ini hal kecil. Jangan sampai dia meremehkan suatu hal, sekecil apapun. Semua pilihan hidupnya ada konsekuensi, walau hanya sekadar pelajaran kesenian...”
“Tapi kan dia baru 6 tahun.”
“Justru malah dari usia ini kita didik dia.”

Halaman 157
“...Memang SMA itu masa yang indah... Kita Cuma agak stress kalau mau ujian saja. Selebihnya adalah bermain. Kalau di PM, setiap hari kita seperti ujian... Tapi yang indah bukan berarti masa yang paling berguna untuk mempersiapkan mental dan kepribadian kita.”

Halaman 253
“Karena saya tidak punya tanah, yang saya wakafkan adalah diri saya sendiri saja.”
“Artinya?”
“Semuanya. Semua waktu, pikiran, dan tenaga saya, saya serahkan hanya untuk PM. Tidak ada kepentingan pribadi, tidak ada harapan untuk dapat imbalan dunia, tidak gaji, tidak rumah, tidak segala-galanya. Semuanya ikhlas hanya ibadah dan pengabdian pada Allah... Bukankah di Al-Quran disebutkan bahwa manusia diciptakan untuk mengabdi?”

Halaman 296
“Jiwa keikhlasan dipertontonkan setiap hari di PM. Guru-guru kami yang tercinta dan hebat-hebat sama sekali tidak menerima gaji untuk mengajar. Mereka semua tinggal di dalam PM dan diberi fasilitas hidup yang cukup, tapi tidak ada gaji. Dengan tidak adanya ekspektasi gaji dari semenjak awal, niat mereka menjadi khalis. Megajar hanya karena ibadah, karena perintah Tuhan. Titik.
Begitu niat ikhlas terganggu, seorang guru biasanya merasakannya dan langsung mengundurkan diri. Akibat seleksi ikhlas itu, semua guru dan kiai punya tingkat keikhlasan yang terjaga tinggi yang artinya juga energy tertinggi. Dalam ikhlas, sama sekali tidak ada transaksi yang merugi. Nothing to lose. Semuanya dikerjakan all-out dengan mutu terbaik, karena mereka tahu, cukuplah Tuhan sendiri yang membalas semuanya. Tidak ada transfer duit dan materi di PM. Hanya transfer amal, doa dan pahala. Indah sekali.”

Halaman 405
“Negaraku surgaku, bila tiba waktunya, kita wajib pulang mengamalkan ilmu, memajukan bangsa kita”

Kutipan-kutipan dari Novel “Negeri van Oranje”
Halaman 290
“Blessed is he that learns to admire, but not to envy”

Halaman 427
“Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.”

Halaman 433
“A country is only as great as its people... Kalau orang Indonesia sendiri gak membanggakan negaranya, gimana negara kita mau terkenal? Boro-boro objek wisatanya...”

Kutipan-kutipan dari Novel “Padang Bulan” karya Andrea Hirata
Halaman 188
“Duru guru mengajiku pernah mengajarkan bahwa pertemuan dengan seseorang mengandung rahasia Tuhan. Maka, pertemuan sesungguhnya adalah nasib. Orang tak hanya bertemu begitu saja, pasti ada sesuatu di balik itu.
Begitu banyak hidup orang berubah lantaran sebuah pertemuan. Disebabkan hal itu, umat Islam disarankan untuk melihat banyak tempat dan bertemu dengan banyak orang agar nasibnya berubah.
Namun sayang, tak semua dapat mengungkap rahasia itu dan beruntunglah sedikit orang yang memahami maksud dari sebuah pertemuan...”

Halaman 196
“Orang-orang itu telah melupakan bahwa belajar tidaklah melulu untuk mengejar dan membuktikan sesuatu, namun belajar itu sendiri adalah perayaan dan penghargaan pada diri sendiri.”

Kitipan-kutipan dari Novel “Cinta di dalam Gelas” karya Andrea Hirata
Halaman 98
“Berikan aku sesuatu yang paling sulit, aku akan belajar”

Halaman 99
"Maryamah adalah pribadi istimewa yang tak punya tabiat mengasihani diri. Ia tak pernah mengiba-iba. Kupandangi guru kesedihan itu. Hari ini aku belajar satu hal penting darinya bahwa jika tidak bersedih atas sebuah kehilangan menimbulkan perasaan bersalah, hal itu merupakan kesalahan baru, sebab kesedihan harusnya menjadi bagian dari kebenaran.
Pertemuan dengan Maryamah hari ini meletupkan semangatku. Aku telah melihatnya belajar bahasa Inggris dengan susah payah, tanpa merasa ragu akan usia dan segala keterbatasan, dan dia berhasil. Sekarang, ia siap berjibaku menguasai catur, dengan tekad mengalahkan seorang kampiun seperti Matarom. Ia tak dapat disurutkan oleh bimbang, tak dapat dinisbikan oleh gamang. Darinya, aku mengambil filosofi bahwa belajar adalah sikap berani menantang segala ketidakmungkinan; bahwa ilmu yang tak dikuasai akan menjelma di dalam diri manusia menjadi sebuah ketakutan. Belajar dengan keras hanya bisa dilakukan oleh seseorang yang bukan penakut."

Halaman 155
"Kami punya warung kopi dengan menu kopi miskin, yaitu kopi bagi mereka yang melarat sehingga tak punya yang cukup untuk membeli kopi biasa. Namun, ganjarannya, ia mendapat kopi tanpa gula sebab harga gula mahal. Maka, kopi miskin adalah kopi pahit, sepahit-pahitnya, seperti nasib pembelinya.
Pamanku yang berjiwa lapang dan merupakan umat Nabi Muhammad yang amat pemurah, menyediakan kopi miskin dalam menu warungnya. Sesekali, secara diam-diam, pamanku menyuruh kami mennambahkan gula untuk kopi miskin, karena ia tak sampai hati pada kaum yang papa itu. Namun, aneh, pembeli melarat yang telah terbiasa dengan kopi miskin malah tak menyukai hal itu. Pelajaran moral nomor 33: kemiskinan susah diberantas karena pelakunya senang menjadi miskin."

Kutipan-kutipan dari “Sang Pemimpi” karya Andrea Hirata
Halaman 60-61
“Setiap peristiwa di jagad raya ini adalah potongan mozaik. Terserak di sana-sini, tersebar dalam rentang waktu dan ruang. Namun, perlahan potongan itu akan bersatu membentuk bak montase Antoni Gaudi. Mozaik-mozaik itu akan membangun siapa dirimu dewasa nanti. Lalu, apa pun yang kaukerjakan dalam hidupmu akan bergema dalam keabadian... Maka, berkelanalah di atas muka bumi ini untuk menemukan mozaikmu!”

Halaman 120
“Betapa aku membenci WC. Di mana-mana, kita selalu menjumpai WC yang tak keruan. Di rumah-rumah, di sekolah-sekolah, di jamban umum, di terminal, di kantor-kantor pemerintah, bahkan di rumah-rumah sakit. Mengapa banyak orang Indonesia jorok?” :p

Halaman 133
“Namun, tak pernah kusadari bahwa sikap realistis itu sesungguhnya mengandung bahaya sebab ia memiliki hubungan dekat degan rasa pesimis. Realistis tak lain adalah pedal rem yang sering menghambat harapan orang.”

Akhir kata, saya senang karena banyak novel-novel Indonesia sekarang yang menyinggung tentang dunia pendidikan sehingga pada saat membacanya orang-orang Indonesia bisa terdorong untuk terus belajar, menimba ilmu ke negara lain, menimba ilmu setinggi langit, menimba ilmu dunia dan akhirat *yang seharusnya tak terpisahkan*.
Saya pun dibuat semangat untuk memulai, setidaknya, semester berikutnya. Selamat datang tahun baru dan semester baru! :)

Movies in Holiday

2010-12-06T14:04:00.006+08:00

It's holiday! And I've watched 3 movies so far. Haha... Just miss those times. When I was working. I went for a movie minimum twice a month. But since I started life at TTC, I recalled that I only watched 3 movies in 5 months. Wew...
So... this holiday I tried to watch movies, and so far I managed to watch 3 movies. One in the cinema, the rest I watched in my room.
And... all three of them are cartoons! I love cartoons. The world beyond reality... the fantasy... It's all so amazing! Anything can happen in a cartoons :) And one thing I love from cartoons is the songs. So here I will put one song from each movie that I watched.

1. Rapunzel/Tangled
I don't think I need to explain much, It is undescribable. just watch! It's totally worth it. I had a great laugh! And Rapunzel's hair! It's an amazing treat to my eyes to see such delicate and sophisticated drawing! I must say that it is the best movie that I watched this year. It's a movie that if you ask me to watch again, I will! :D

I See the Light

Rapunzel:
All those days, watching from the windows
All those years, outside looking in
All that time never even knowing,
just how blind I've been
Now I'm here, blinking in the starlight
Now I'm here, suddenly I see
Standing here
It's oh, so clear, I'm where I'm meant to be
And at last, I see the light,
and it's like the fog has lifted
And at last, I see the light,
and it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright,
and the world has somehow shifted
All at once, everything looks different
Now that I see you

Flynn:
All those days, chasing down a daydream
All those years, living in a blur
All that time,
never truly seeing things the way they were
Now she's here, shining in the starlight
Now she's here, suddenly I know
If she's here, it's crystal clear
I'm where I'm meant to go

Flynn/Rapunzel:And at last, I see the light
Flynn:And it's like the fog has lifted
Flynn/Rapunzel:And at last, I see the light
Rapunzel:And it's like the sky is new
Flynn/Rapunzel:
And it's warm and real and bright.
And the world has somehow shifted.
All at once, everything is different.
Now that I see you, now that I see you

2. Anastasia.
It's an ok movie. The only thing that interests me is the life and death of the legendary Rasputin. First time I heard about him was when I was in high school from my history teacher. He is believed to have supernatural power and it keeps him alive eventhough people poison and shoot him (for further info you can click the link).

3. Prince of Egypt
It was so nice to watch the movie after attending the Old Testament class :) The knowledge brought a deeper understanding to the movie. And yup, I think you can guess what song I will put here... When You Believe. Actually the reason why I watch this movie is because our choir were practising it for our musical drama for Christmas. And I got the movie from the choir master.
Ashira! Ashira! Ashira! Ah... can't wait to learn Hebrew! :D

When You Believe

Many night's we've prayed With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song We barely understood,
Now we are not afraid Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long before we knew we could

Miriam (chorus)
There can be miracles When you believe
Though hope is frail It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles You can achieve
When you believe Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Tzipporah
In this time of fear When prayer so often proved in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds Too swiftly flown away
Yet now I'm standing here With heart so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I'd say

Miriam and Tzipporah (chorus)
There can be miracles When you believe
All hope is frail Its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles You can achieve
When you believe Somehow you will
You will when you believe

Hebrew Children
A-shir-ra la-do-nai ki ga-oh ga-oh
(I will sing to the Lord for he has triumphed gloriously)
A-shir-ra la-do-nai ki ga-oh ga-oh
(I will sing to the Lord for he has triumphed gloriously)
Mi-cha-mo-cha ba-elim adonai
(Who is like You, oh Lord, among the celestial)
Mi-ka-mo-cha ne-dar-ba-ko-desh
(Who is like You, majestic in holiness)
Na-chi-tah v'-chas-d'-cha am zu ga-al-ta
(In Your Love, You lead the people You redeemed)
Na-chi-tah v'-chas-d'-cha am zu ga-al-ta
(In Your Love, You lead the people You redeemed)
A-shi-ra, a-shi-ra, A-shi-ra.......
(I will sing, I will sing, I will sing)

Hebrews (Chorus)
There can be miracles When you believe
Though hope is frail Its hard to kill
Who knows what miracles You can achieve
When you believe Somehow you will
Now you will You will when you believe......

Miriam and Tzipporah
You will when you believe

Next... Narnia! Hahaha...

Review of First Semester @TTC

2010-12-02T11:07:00.006+08:00

Subject: Mission and Evangelism (M&E)
Comments: The most creative approach.
-The class is the most fun! It really helps to put it on Monday :)
-We watched movie "Through the Gates of Splendour" which is about the five martyr-missionaries and their family members who continued their works. And we are assigned a movie review.
-Me & a couple of friends went to a mission organization "Youth with a Mission (YWAM) to have an interview, and we prepared a presentation. An inspiring talk with the staff and testimony from a classmate who was with YWAM for a couple of months. She said (roughly), "If you are very serious about mission, don't go to a place where people (missionaries) have been there. Find a place where no missionaries have ever been there."
-Me with the same group went to Cambodia to observe the mission work there! I've been blogging about it.
-The lecturer also invited some guest lecturers who provided us a different perspectives on several topics.
How this class has changed me: This subject has taught me many things, correct my conception on mission and evangelism, and give a good biblical and theological basis on the 'mission trips' that I have (and will) be involved with.
This class also has taught me to be a global Christian, we prayed for countries. I remembered in one class we prayed for Christianity around the world (America, Asia, Europe, Africa, Australia). It widens my narrow perspective on God's works.

Subject: Old Testament (OT)
Summary: The most complicated class :)
First, the lecturer. I'm a the subject rep and therefore sometimes talk about how to make the class better, how to help those who are having difficulties, how to follow up with feedback from the class.
Second, the class. It's mentally tiring. Very short break and sometimes the class finished long after the bell rings...
Third, the weekly Bible quiz. Yup, how can I forget about it. I remembered at first I was struggling with the quiz until I realize that it is indeed very useful for me.
Fourth, the assignment. The faith-shaking assignment! I won't discuss it here as I do not want to be made responsible of shaking others' faith :p
Fifth, my group had a very cool and creative presentation on our paper! (We made a debate into a drama!)
How this class has changed me:
-This has been a difficult class especially for some of my international friends. I was made aware of it (esp. as a subject rep) and I was encouraged to help.
-This subject helps me to get the deeper truth of New Testament. It is amazing when I re-read the New Testament with the knowledge of the Old Testament in the back of my mind!

Subject: Church History (CH)
Summary: Love the assignment. A creative and useful approach to Church History.
I have talked about CH in my previous blog post. Right now I want to just talk a little bit on the assignment.
Here I quote from the syllabus:
"Choose a person or a group of people (e.g. a Church Council, a particular Christian community) covered in our course. Write him (or her or them) a letter, whose content should include:
a. an explanation of the relevant aspects of your present-day context; and
b. how the things you have learnt about this person speaks to your context."
The tricky part is the assessment criteria where I have to describe my present-day context in a way comprehensible to my recipient. Anyway, I wrote to Saint Benedict of Nursia regarding his Rule.

Subject: New Testament (NT)
Summary: more than just a survey
This class was supposed to be a survey class, but because the lecturer is a person who really likes to read so I think there are so many things that he wants to talk about and the class becomes more than just a survey. I don't mind with a deeper content, of course, as I have taken course on New Testament Survey in other bible school before. I just think about some of my friends who were never really survey the NT before.
I love the exam. It makes me look further and deeper in digging New Testament.
Never knew that Mark was so genius with his way of writing the Gospel (Intercalation? parataxis? wow... I've only heard of chiastic before). Each literary method exposed greater truth or message. Also enjoying my research on how the Feasts contribute to expand God's message in the book of John.
What I learn: Studying NT requires me to study both OT and NT. It just make me never have enough. And that is actually how we should approach the Bible. We will never have enough. No matter how many times you dig it, you can still find 'new truth' when you dig it again. It humbles me. Oh Lord, this child of your still have a long way to go. A way that I will never finish in this life...

Subject: Theology
Summary: Feel guilty for not reading the book :( Hopefully can catch up during holiday.
Comments: I talked about it before in my previous blog post, just a little bit of addition: You will never have enough time for Theology! Sir, the 30-minutes break is too long and the 2-hours lectures is not enough! Hahaha...
What I learned: How to graciously approach and answer people who have the different (to the extent: opposite) view of me. How to be critical and always question what the lecturer has explained :D

Subject: Church Visitation
Summary: Favourite subject
Comments: I love it! It is the subject that is unique to TTC, and it is something that I would bring to a theological school if I were a principal or dean of studies :)
I love how I can go around Singapore, visiting lots of churches from different denomination (something that I didn't and won't be able to do again in Singapore as I am attached to IEC). Enjoying the talk with the pastor about the church ministry. To get different ideas on how people worship (liturgy) and the various ways of ministry.
I love the assignment given to us to reflect. Through the reflection, I got a lot of things that I can bring back to my church or to me personally to be a better servant of God.
And I love the lecturer. Very calm and never show emotion. Very humble woman and she speaks as well as writes wisely (from the comments to all the weekly assigments that I submitted). She would give me question to ponder. She reads My Utmost for His Highest... *How did I know? She sometimes quoted it in her presentation*

Subject: Music Leadership Proficiency
Basically this class teaches me a little bit of music theory and technical things in leading worship.
Some of my classmates don't like this subject bccause it is either:
1. They have already been very good in music, or
2. They don't like the type of music taught, or
3. They do not need it in their ministry, or
4. They don't like the lecturer.
Fortunately for me, I'm none of the four above, so I love this class.
1. I didn't know much about music so I'm willing to learn
2. I love hymns and 'certain extent of' contemporary song
3. I will need it in my future ministry. In my home church, the worship leader must be pastor/full time ministers.
4. She is a person with a strong passion of church music and always emphasize how we have to integrate our Theology to music.
Well... it sounds selfish but... I feel that this particular subject was meant just for me! Hahaha :p

Look forward for 2nd semester!

He was There...

2010-12-02T09:58:00.004+08:00

My 1st semester at TTC unofficially finished last Monday (29/11) when I handed in my last paper this semester.
It's been an amazing feeling! A mix between relief and grateful. After I finished editing my last paper, I laid on my bed and cried, as I suddenly reminded how God has been there with me....

When I felt confused and upset because I don't understand what the lecturer said or what the discussion in the class about....
*Have you ever been in a discussion where you roughly don't know what they are talking about and just wanted to ask basic question, but feel afraid because people will look down on you or because your question will just break the flow of discussion? Yup, that's the feeling*

When I had headache trying to understand what I read or to memorize...
*all the terms! Aggh!Sometimes I just gave up reading*

When I was in spiritual dryness for reading all the biblical/theological books just for the sake of fulfilling the requirements.... felt guilty for not being able to stop and ponder about it first...
*It's been like a race... Ready? Get set... go! Reading M&E... M&E finished, go prepare for OT quiz... OT finished, next: NT reading... NT finished? still have CH test... CH finished? Go back to M&E la... and confession: I did not read Theo >.<*

When I was overwhelmed and had lack of sleep, juggling between classes, quiet times, papers, readings, chapels,vespers, community life, mission trips, prayer meetings, youth fellowship, entertainment, hanging out with friends...

HE WAS THERE...
There are times I just ignored Him, cut back my time with Him because I was too 'busy' with all 'other' things... *What a child!*
Yet, HE WAS THERE...
And everytime I turned back to Him for help, for strength, for wisdom, for everything....
HE WAS THERE... *What a Father!*

There were times when I read Bible or the required books, I came to a certain point where I was wowed by God through what I read... this feeling of amazement of what God is and what He has done...

There were times where I shed tears when I found a deep spiritual truth through my readings or my encounters with people...

There were times where the lecturers shared their experiences and they showed me examples in life and ministry... or there were times when what they said touched my heart, encouraged me, or rebuked me to go back to God and to prioritize what really matters in life... I really thank God for them! :)
There were times when I had great chat and laughters with other students as well as worked together and encouraged each other...
And... there were times where God directly inspired and answered me when I was praying! *Best moments!* :)

HE WAS THERE...

In my room... in the class... in the dining hall... in the chapel ... in the cluster... in the library... in the churches... in the buses... in Toho... everywhere!

HE WAS THERE...
Through the Bible... through the books... through the lecturers... through the seniors... through my classmates... through my pastor... through my friends... through every circumstances... through every moments!

He IS also here.... and He definitely WILL be there...
HE IS THE EVER-PRESENT GOD. Amen.

International Evangelical Church (Hok Im Tong) Singapore Christmas Celebration 2010

2010-11-29T22:26:00.003+08:00

IEC Singapore are pleased to invite you to our Christmas 2010 Celebration:

King of PEACE

*sermon by Rev. DR Caleb Tong in Indonesian-Mandarin
with an English musical drama:
AN UNEXPECTED EXPECTATION 2 ---Amelie and The Three and A Half Kings

Sunday, December 12th 2010, 10:00 am

6 Shenton Way, DBS Building Tower One, DBS Auditorium Level 3,

Singapore 068809

Nearest MRT: Tanjong Pagar

Book your calendar now!!!You may invite friends as many as you want...Let's prepare for this enchanted adventure.. and have a Merry Christmas to you too!
Do not hesitate if you have any questions, you may reach us:

Fendy :+65 96152333

Juliet :+65 98597088

Leonardo :+65 92227529

Don't miss it!! & We'll See You There

♥ •.★.·*†*•.God Bless You.•*†*·.★.• ♥

Prayer and Power

2010-11-22T07:15:00.006+08:00

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men and women.

Do not pray for tasks equal to your powers. Pray for powers equal to your tasks."

-Phillip Brooks (1835-1893)-

I read this statement twice within these two days from two different books. Coincidence? I don't think so. I think God is trying to say something to me.

When I read the above statement, two things came into my mind:

First, what Peter Parker said in Spiderman 2 : "With great power comes great responsibility". Hmm... come to think about it, it's quite frustrating, right? You end up thinking about how much responsibility you will have to do.
I think the sentence is not complete. If I may add, it would be: "With great power comes great responsibility, and with great responsibility, comes great power."
Yup, there's God's encouragement for each of us to fulfill our responsibility :)

Second, I think about how my life would be next semester. I will take 5 subjects (same as this semester) and 1 audit. Plus... there will be placement. I will be placed in my home church. Currently, I still do not know what my responsibilities are, but one thing for sure, I will have more responsibilities compared to this semester.
The quote above becomes an encouragement for me to pray more. Praying... something that I have been considered as 'second class' compared to reading Bible. Yup, no doubt I enjoy reading Study Bible, commentaries, and books. But to pray? It takes much lesser than my time spent for reading. I think God is trying to remind me to get on my knees more...

Thank You, Lord, for Your Word. Help me to obey.

Personal Reflection on Trip to Cambodia

2010-11-20T13:51:00.003+08:00

It's my attempt to write a personal reflection on my trip to Cambodia with 4 TTC friends. In order to make sense of it, I encourage you to read my two previous blog posts.
Trip to Cambodia part 1 and Trip to Cambodia part 2
Please pardon my English and please bear in mind that I'm only a 'rookie' in the world of Mission (This year is the first time I was directly exposed to mission trip or mission work and it's only short-term ones). Happy reading!

During our trip to Cambodia, we had a great opportunity to learn much regarding mission work in Cambodia. We met foreign missionaries, tentmakers, local pastors, staffs of international and local mission organization. I am grateful to be given a chance to interview them, discuss with them on the challenges or issues arise, as well as pray with them. Many inspiration and learning came through these interactions, which further my understanding on what mission is and how cross-cultural ministry is supposed to work.

Evangelism and mission: the rocky road of discipleship
Since the starting of the Mission and Evangelism class, I have encountered new concept and deeper understanding of mission. My perspective on mission used to be so narrow. For me, mission is quite identical with evangelism. I used to think that mission means going out to other parts of the world and share the Gospel to others, but this is definitely not what Jesus means in his Great Commandments (Matthew 28:19-20). Steven Hawthorne mentioned:
“the primary action word was ‘disciple.’ The other action words, ‘go... baptizing... and teaching’ were all commanded actions, but they each filled our part of what Jesus meant by the pivotal command: ‘Disciple all the people’... They (Great Commandment) were not mandated merely to expose people to the gospel. They were commissioned to bring about a result, a response, a global following of Jesus from every people.”[1]

John Piper take further the concept of mission into worship by saying: “Missions is not the ultimate goal of the Church. Worship is. Mission exists because worship doesn’t.”[2] So, what is worship? Steven Hawthorne elaborate: “Worship takes place when people recognize who God is and offer public acknowledgement and freely approach God, personally offering face-to-face gratitude and day-to-day allegiance. Worship is genuine relational interaction with God.”[3] Therefore, mission is not equal to evangelism. Mission is discipleship, to make people follow Jesus, to live and to be like Jesus. In mission, it is expected that we bring people to experience the transformational power of the Gospel. It means that we want to see changes in their lives. Transformation in life is important as it will attract others to Jesus, and the result is multiplication instead of a linear growth.

From my conversation with several missionaries, I gain better understanding of the difference between evangelism and mission. Several missionaries like Jac (Harvest Inn) and Rev. Phi (Methodist School of Cambodia) mentioned to us how it is quite easy to ‘convert’ Cambodian, but to disciple them is still a big issue. Even the local pastors affirmed it. Many of them share the Gospel to others and when they invite the person to receive Christ he/she would agree easily to what they say and would pray the sinners’ prayer with them. In a church service, when the pastor called the congregation to receive Christ, many responded. The problem is, it is hard to say whether it is genuine or not. One of the local pastor mentioned that according to Cambodian culture, it is rude for them to say no to other, so sometimes they would say that they want to receive Christ just because they were afraid to offend the pastor! It is, of course, difficult (and impossible) to disciple people who are not genuinely received Christ as their Saviour and Lord.
The second reason of why discipleship is difficult is because their understanding of sin is distorted. It is difficult for them to stop sinning because they live in the standard of society. Some sin such as bribery; corruption; gambling; cheating in class, is considered as ‘culture’ in Cambodia. For Cambodian, doing those things is considered as totally acceptable because everybody else is doing it.
The third reason why spiritual formation takes very long and hard time in Cambodia is because of external factors. First, the demand of their profession to work long hours, even on Saturday and Sunday, makes it difficult for them to attend the worship service or to spend time in other activities that can help to build their spiritual life. Second, people consider Christianity as bad luck, so when a person admit that they became Christian, they were usually rejected or persecuted by people around them. It becomes a problem especially to the middle-upper class Cambodian as they don’t want to tarnish their reputation by admitting that they are Christian.

Upon reflecting on the situation, I came to a conclusion on the necessity of reading and studying the Bible for spiritual formation. As stated in 2 Timothy 3:16 “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness”, the Scripture function as a standard where the readers are made aware of what is wrong and right, what is sin and what is not. Furthermore, Scripture teaches us how to continually live in righteousness. It provides encouragements throughout difficult days in dealing with struggle, rejection and persecution. Some of the people we talked to also mention that it is not common for Christian in Cambodia to own Bible in their house. First, the Bible is relatively expensive. Secondly, there is high rate of illiteracy among Cambodian. For most Christian, the only time they can listen to the Word of God is during worship service on Sunday. In light of the situation, I think Cambodia needs more support in providing Bible and in radio ministry, which has been run wonderfully by TransWorld Radio.

The rise of tentmaking ministry: a tool of witness and discipleship
According to Ruth E. Siemens, tentmakers are:
“...mission-motivated Christians who support themselves in secular work as they do cross-cultural evangelism on the job and in free time. They may be business entrepreneurs, salaried professionals, paid employees, expenses-paid voluntary workers or Christians in professional exchange, funded research, internship or study abroad programs.”[4]

During our trip in Cambodia, we spent our time with several tentmakers such as Jac (owner of Harvest Inn and renting tuk tuk), Rev. Dr. Kev (owner of a Cambodian NGO named Tabitha Services), the Tee couple (owner of Eden Cafe). I personally saw the rising trend of tentmaking. This can be seen through Jacob and Rev. Lowe who initially came to Cambodia as missionaries supported by the church, but later running their own business. The Tees also just recently started their venture after running their orphanage for a couple of years.
From our conversation with Jac, I understand that tentmaking is an effective way of discipleship. As a boss, he is to give example to his staffs (mostly local Christian youths). This is in line with what Paul said said “...but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate” (2 Thes. 3:8-9), and through the working life he can teach biblical principles. For examples, he can teach them to work hard and to be honest in dealing with their client when they deliver their tuk tuk. He also teaches them on other life skills such as how to do financial planning, which means teaching them to save money (most locals does not see the need to save money as they never plan for the future) and not to have debt (most locals would borrow money and spend so much to look good especially when they need to attend function such as wedding).

Humanitarian ministry: giving the poor a new chance in life
The poor and the marginalized constitute a big portion of Cambodian society. Under Khmer Rouge regime many children were left without parents, many intellectuals were murdered and the country was left with tiny hope of the future. Today, social issues are still arising. Husbands would leave their families to earn a living in other city. There, they find other women and exposed to AIDS. They are either die or transmitted their wives at home. Hence, there are so many young women and kids abandoned.
I was touched to see many missionaries or mission organization carry out significant works that give focus to the poor (some of them in absolute poverty), the marginalized and the sick, just as Jesus gives particular emphasize of preaching the good news to them (Matt. 11:4-6, Mark 10: 17-20, Luk. 4:16-21, Luk. 6:20). Some of these organizations are Christian Medical Mission to Cambodia-Jeremiah Hope and Sihanouk Hospital, who provides free healthcare services, minor surgeries as well as major ones. Others are Place of Rescue, Care for Cambodia, and COSI/EWC who provide shelters for AIDS patients and their families, orphan kids, abandoned young women and the elderly. Most of them provide holistic ministry in which they provide almost everything from place to stay and food to free education/skills trainings. Some of this organization, such as Sihanouk Hospital, would even go the extent that they will create a system to carefully select that the fund/aid recipients are those who really cannot afford it.
Running orphanages is also a very good way to disciple Cambodian kids to live in God’s truth. Missionaries who run orphanages can teach them faith in Christ and nurture them. Providing them basic needs is a significant witness that opens way to the Gospel, and by living with them it is easier to nurture their faith. These orphanages are very important. They raise future leaders of Cambodia. When I see the future of Cambodia, I see hope.

Culture and contextualization: issues and challenges
With the bulk of foreign missionaries in Cambodia, culture and contextualization becomes the major issue. Foreign missionaries come to Cambodia, bring their culture with them and living hand-in-hand with the locals. There is a contact established between cultures. One might wonder what the appropriate role of foreign missionaries in culture change is. Don Richardson says, “The missionaries introduced culture change, but it was not arbitrary, nor was it imposed by force. The missionaries brought only changes required for New Testament ethics and for the survival of the people. Often the two requirements overlap.”[5]
During the trip to Cambodia, I saw many types of mission organizations which run each in its own distinctive way. Some of them, like Place of Rescue (Mar) and Care for Cambodia orphanage (the Tees), tried hard to maintain the Cambodian culture within their organization. At the Place of Rescue, Mar (Canadian) speaks with each of them in Khmer language. She also arranges the housing to be similar like the local houses and she let them to do everything on the floor, even when they eat or the kids do their homework, because that is their culture of the people before they stay at the Place of Rescue. At the Care for Cambodia orphanage, kids are sent to the local schools. But I observe a different environment at COSI. COSI is still quite strong with its Singapore culture. I notice it in the way they prepare their school curriculum. It is very well-planned, organized, and systematic.
Jac told us that there is a tendency where the children who are raised by the care of foreign missionaries or mission organization will have difficulties to integrate back to society once they finish their time in the orphanage because the way they were brought up is totally different with the way most of other kids brought up. There is a sense of cultural clash with others. During the presentation by COSI coordinator, I found out that several youths who graduated from COSI, after failing to get a job outside, came back to COSI to teach or to be its staffs. COSI is also currently building a farm with the hope that giving employment opportunities to its graduates as a farmer there. Some of COSI graduates work under other Singapore missionaries like Jac. I wonder whether they would be able to integrate back with the society or they will, within their whole life, only be able to identify themselves with Singapore people or culture only. It is definitely a concern that needs to be taken seriously. Charles Kraft says, “Christianity should be perceived as excitingly relevant to the problems people struggle with in their context.”[6], and here I am wondering: If they cannot even survive within their own society, how can they become ‘light and salt to the world’?
Other concerns regarding foreign missionaries also raised during our discussion in Siem Reap with several local pastors (thanks to Ps. Lu who arranged it for us). Those local pastors that I talked to mentioned that some foreign missionaries came with their own program and within their own timeframe and demand the locals to work hard to fulfil the purpose of the programs. The demand is sometimes too high and the locals are stressed out to achieve the target set. What is even worse is that there were cases where some foreign missionaries just left the local pastors when the timeframe given finished and the target was not achieved!
Some of the local pastors also complain on the way the foreign missionaries would ‘push’ their own culture in worshipping. Some of the missionaries would teach the locals ‘their way’ of worshipping. For example, the missionaries told the locals that they need to lift up their hands and speak loudly while praying, while, according the local pastor, Cambodians are relatively quiet people and are not used to lift up their hands when they worship as they are afraid that it will attract much attention. While writing this, I was reminded to one lesson in “Mission and Evangelism” class where the lecturer gave us a paper with a list of items (commands, practices, customs) and asked us to identify which items are essential to the church in every age and which are negotiable (may or may not be valid for the church in any given time or place). I think it is a very good exercise and a valuable learning especially for those who serve in a cross-cultural setting. They need to be able to differentiate the essentials with those which are not.

Indigenous church: empowering the locals
William Smalley defines indigenous church as
“a group of believers who live out their life, including their socialized Christian activity, in the patterns of the local society, and for whom any transformation of that society comes out of their felt needs under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and Scriptures... An indigenous church is precisely one in which the changes taking place under the guidance of the Holy Spirit meet the needs and fulfil the meanings of that society and not of any outside group.”[7]

Despite the drawbacks of foreign missionaries mentioned above, there are some success stories where foreign missionaries help the locals to ‘stand on their own feet’. Mar started the ministry in Preah Khet Melea Military Hospital by visiting AIDS patient there, sharing the Gospel to them and sometimes taking care of their needs. She has been encouraging the locals to join her and guiding them for several years on how to minister to the patients. Now, the ministry is run independently by the locals. When we visit the hospital, there were approximately 20 Cambodian Christians, men and women in their 40s and 50s, from different churches in Phnom Penh. Such a joy to see their ministry!

[1] Steven C. Hawthorne, “Mandate on the Mountain” in Perspectives on the World Christian Movement, 4th ed. (Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library, 2009), 128.
[2] John Piper, “Let the Nations Be Glad!” in Perspectives on the World Christian Movement, 4th ed. (Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library, 2009), 64.
[3] Steven C. Hawthorne, “The Story of His Glory” in Perspectives on the World Christian Movement, 4th ed. (Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library, 2009), 51.
[4] Ruth E. Siemens, “Tentmakers: Integrating Work and Witness” in Perspectives on the World Christian Movement, 4th ed. (Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library, 2009), 761.
[5] Don Richardson, “Do Missionaries Destroy Cultures?” in Perspectives on the World Christian Movement, 4th ed. (Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library, 2009), 488.
[6] Charles H. Kraft, “Culture, Worldview and Contextualization” in Perspectives on the World Christian Movement, 4th ed. (Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library, 2009), 404.
[7] William A. Smalley, “Cultural Implications of an Indigenous Church” in Perspectives on the World Christian Movement, 4th ed. (Pasadena, CA: William Carey Library, 2009), 498-499.

Trip to Cambodia (Group Report 2 - Siem Reap)

2010-11-20T13:28:00.003+08:00

This post is a continuation of the previous post.

Siem Reap, 3 Oct – 7 Oct
Having said our farewells in Phnom Penh, we headed to Siem Reap by bus on 3 October. After a long 6 hour bus journey, we were received at our hotel by Rev. Lu who immediately put us to work interacting with English students at the evening classes that are conducted at his school. The Mustard Seed School was started in 2008 by Rev. Lu of the Methodist Church in Cambodia with aims to generate income while reaching out to students and their parents. The school currently operates out of a small two-storey building and has approximately 70 students. Lessons are run by Rev. Lu, his wife and another Christian lady. Ministry to the students is done through morning devotions and regular outreach programs. Rev. Lu envisions that the testimony of the students will impact their parents. At present, income generated from the school is used for maintenance, operations, salaries, and to operate Pathway Fellowship Cambodia.

Pathway Fellowship Cambodia is a Church planted soon after the Mustard Seed School was started. Church services are held on the second storey of the school building. Approximately 25 youths and adults attend church service regularly. Through conversations with Rev. Lu, we gained an understanding of the vision for starting the school. Rev. Lu had been seeking a way to effectively reach the community in a financially self-sustaining way, and in a way that was helpful to the community, and also brought him in close contact with the villagers. Education was the open door.

Conclusion
Despite the very meaningful experience, it was a really tiring trip for all of us. In fact, we were so tired after our three day ministry with Rev. Lu that we hardly had the energy to enjoy our visit to the Angkor Watt National Park on our last day in Cambodia. Over the course of 10 days, we had the opportunity to see many different models of mission work. Starting from the tent-making social entrepreneurial work of Harvest Inn and Rev. Dr. Kev to the traditional institutional mission efforts of MMS and OMF International, we saw missions in many different new perspectives. Our visit to the humble orphanage that the Tees run and the Place of Rescue that Mar runs also left indelible marks in our hearts of the deep humanitarian work that needs to be part of the Christian mission, a work that many non-Christian NGOs have unfortunately taken over from the Christians. Most importantly, spending those last three days with Rev. Lu reminded us that the end goal of missions should be self-sustaining indigenous work.

Our experience taught us the urgency of mission work. The deep need not just in Cambodia but across the world for God’s messengers to share a message of hope to those who are trapped in darkness both physically, socio-economically and spiritually. Our trip (or post- trip) has also taught us of our failure to pray for the missionaries and the mission field. In the process of putting this report together, we were once again reminded to live up to our promises to pray for the missionaries that we spent time with. A promise that we have too often forgotten. It is indeed our prayer that God will use us and the Gospel to bring hope, love and security to the people of Cambodia.

Trip to Cambodia (Group Report 1 - Phnom Penh)

2010-11-20T12:58:00.004+08:00

As some of you might know, last August me and 4 TTC friends went to Cambodia to observe the mission work there. The trip was done as part of a requirement for "Mission and Evangelism" course. I have not blogged about it at all because I waited for our group report :p Here we go....
PS: names are made confidential

Introduction
As part of our Mission & Evangelism course, our team of five – Je, Ma, St, EY and Yu– embarked on a mission observation trip to Cambodia from 28 August to 7 September 2010. Cambodia has long been the destination of many missionaries, churches, non-governmental organisations and international agencies and they have brought both financial aid and the gospel of Christ to the Cambodians especially since the fall of the Khmer Rouge regime.

Cambodia is a beautiful country situated in Indochina and shares land borders with Thailand in the north and west, Laos to the northeast and Vietnam to the east and southeast. It has a coastline on the Gulf of Thailand in the southwest. According to the census carried out in 2008, it has a population of 13.4 million. It is estimated that the local Khmer people make up approximately 90% of the population. Our experience in Cambodia has left us with warm memories of a gentle and polite people and culture.

In the 20th century, Cambodia has been through very rough times having been scarred by the Vietnam War and later, the rule of the Khmer Rouge from 1975 to 1978. Under the Khmer Rouge, it lost an entire generation of the educated population. On our first day in Cambodia, we visited the genocide museum in Toul Sleng which tells the story of the horrors suffered by the Cambodians during the Khmer Rouge era. After the Khmer Rouge, Cambodia continued to suffer under Vietnamese rule until the constitutional monarchy was reinstated in 1993.

Today, Cambodia is still stricken by poverty, illiteracy, poor healthcare and the rise of AIDS. Children have lost their parents, people are maimed, and a huge percentage of the population live in extreme poverty. We caught a glimpse of poverty in Phnom Penh but were told it was only a fraction of destitution experienced in unreached areas in Cambodia. Our trip was divided into two phases. Phase 1 was in Phnom Penh and spent interviewing missionaries and mission organisations while phase 2 was in Siem Reap where we spent time with a local Cambodian pastor and ran a few programs for the children there. We have structured the report chronologically to reflect the time we spent on our journey in Cambodia.

Phnom Penh, 28 Sep – 2 Oct
The first place we visited in Phnom Penh was Harvest. Harvest is a tent-making ministry started by a Singaporean missionary, Jac, who is supported and sent to Cambodia by TMChurch. Harvest projects are social enterprises that seek to provide vocational training and education to Cambodian youths and young adults, and to support their livelihood. Harvest operates out of a single building and is run by young Cambodians who are supervised and mentored by Jac earning income through rental of the rooms in the guesthouse, sale of food and beverages at the cafe, catering of Nonya cakes, and transportation services.

Having lived in Cambodia and supported Cambodian missions for a long time, Jac saw the plight of the Cambodians and was convinced that missions could take on a more practical and sustainable approach as compared to the traditional model for missions. A social enterprise was the model that fit the bill. The building where Harvest operates was bought from donations and converted into a guesthouse. Income generated is used to support the livelihood of the Cambodian employees and to maintain the business. Through this ministry, Jac aims to mentor the employees of Harvest (who are all Christians), and equip them with useful skills for life and work so that they can be skilled labourers for Cambodia’s workforce and a testimony in their future workplaces. Eventually, Jac intends to pass this ministry on to a Cambodian Christian allowing it to become fully indigenous.

Following our visit to Harvest, and after pushing our Tuk Tuk through a knee-high flood, we got to spend some time with Rev. Phi, the principal of the Methodist School of Cambodia (MSC). MSC is an initiative of Methodist Missions Society (MMS) in Singapore and provides education from nursery to primary and secondary grades for Cambodian children following Cambodia’s national education syllabus. MSC currently has about 300 students and seeks to “Mould young boys and girls to become thinking, caring and giving people.”

While MSC is a paying school, i.e. students are required to pay school fees, MSC maintains a scholarship for several students through its Student Sponsorship Scheme. Rev. Phi also shared with us the many challenges that he faces with some supported students who are also victims of domestic abuse and sexual exploitation. MSC unashamedly emphasises Christian education and hopes that students will grow to become leaders of Cambodia who are well educated and morally upright. Already, MSC have seen tremendous success with many middle income families sending their children to MSC and holds a reputation for being one of the top schools in Cambodia.

The following morning we joined a local congregation for worship at Toul Kork Church which is located right on the premises of MSC. The church had a fairly large congregation (close to 100) and the Sunday morning worship service was bilingual in both Khmer and English. The church was mostly attended by middle income Cambodians and was comfortably equipped with leaky air condition and a contemporary band setup including a trumpet. It was a most interesting service and began to raise questions of cultural contextualisation in our minds. Over lunch, we got to meet Rev. Dr. Kev and spent some time learning about Tabitha Services, a Cambodian NGO committed to begin the Great Commission Companies and further our understanding of tent making work in Cambodia.

On the third day, we visited Christian Medical Ministry to Cambodia / Jeremiah’s Hope (CMMCJH) which is a nondenominational, international, Christian mission dedicated to providing excellent medical care to the poor and quality medical education to the healthcare community of Cambodia. There we met with Sok, the Country Director, and Nary, the Administrator Coordinator who explained to us that the main work of the clinic is to provide major surgeries for free. CMMCJH would schedule surgeries and organise a group of doctors from abroad to come in for approximately two weeks just to perform those surgeries.

During our conversation, they also revealed that besides AIDS, two major health problems for Cambodian are thyroid and motor accidents. As there are only two local neurologists in Cambodia, there is always a need for neurologists to perform surgeries for patients with head trauma. One of the two neurologists Dr. Sim, is already with the clinic. CMMCJH is in the midst of building their own hospital and surgical facilities and hopes to move their operations to the new hospital next year. From CMMCJH, we headed over to another medical facility, the Sihanouk Hospital Center of Hope.

The mission of the Sihanouk Hospital Center of Hope is to provide a centre for the further education and clinical training of medical professionals, while delivering 24-hour high-quality, free medical care for the poor and disadvantaged in Cambodia. Grace, a Development Associate at the hospital, explained to us that the hospital was established in 1996 under the collaboration of Japan Relief for Cambodia, World Mate and HOPE worldwide. As of May 2010, the hospital has treated more than 1 million people. Grace explained that the hospital could not meet the huge healthcare demands and as a result, they have to be very selective of their patients to ensure that the recipients of the free healthcare really come from very poor backgrounds.

Going from medical facilities, we went on to what turned out to be one of the most amazing organisations we visited in Cambodia. Care for Cambodia (CfC) endeavours to give people in Cambodia the freedom to live a life with hope, love, joy and peace in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ by providing care for the children and young people, especially the poor orphans. CfC began in 1997 by giving employment opportunities to widows and other poor people by teaching and resourcing them to sell traditional crafts for a living. In January 2001, CfC started taking in orphans and abandoned children, especially children whose parents died of AIDS and provided them with a home and education in local schools.

Managed by Khe Tee(Local Director), Fi Tee(International Consultant Director) and Nor Tee (International Adviser), CfC currently has 44 children aged between 3 and 19 years old. CfC not only sends the children to local schools but also gives them home tuition and instruction in agriculture, sport and creative arts. The children in CfC experience a very close Christian community and are, from our observation, very well loved by the Tees. We spent half day with them hearing their hopes and prayers for the ministry. We also had a great time with the children, interacting with them over song and dance after a warm fellowship meal. Truly, it was a most fantastic experience.

In recent weeks, Nor has also started Eden Cafe providing job opportunities for Cambodian Christians who leave the orphanage. Similar to the model of social enterprise missions, the aim is to provide a source of livelihood for Cambodian Christians and equip them with useful practical skills so that they are able to find work. As the cafe had begun operations for only a short time, future plans for how the business will be operated and sustained were not apparent.

The next day we took a long drive to Community Outreach Services – Immanuel Children Village (COSI) run by MMS. Despite the drive, our visit to COSI was a brief one. Ps. Fran, took us to the farm where he demonstrated their latest community initiative (FAITH – Food Always in the Home) to encourage the neighbouring communities to develop natural and sustainable farms through agricultural technology. Coming from the Tees orphanage the previous evening, we observed stark contrasts between the two orphanages. Where CfC was a small close knit Khmer community, COSI was a behemoth of 120 children with 12 house parents set on a 3.7 hectare compound built astonishingly like a Singaporean school.

From COSI, we dropped by the Emmaus Woman’s Centre (EWC) which train young women in skills that will allow them to learn a livelihood. With roots as a women’s shelter, today, EWC provides a free 12-month residential training program for young women to receive spiritual, vocational and educational training. EWC provides everything that the women require over the 12-months and keeps them in a safe environment where they can be trained in biblical discipleship while learning livelihood skills. Graduates of EWC then head back home to help support their families and also serve as Christian witnesses in their villages. COSI and EWC were very different from the other facilities that we visited and the uniquely Singaporean culture and style was very evident in both these organisations.

Heading back to the city, we visited Transworld Radio (TWR) in Phnom Penh and met the Cambodian team. TWR has a lovely premise in Cambodia and we visited their office and recording and production rooms. TWR is an international Christian radio network which broadcasts Christian programme through radio stations and makes available Christian content in audio form. TWR broadcasts and communicates in as many as 200 languages and has reached people in over 160 countries. In Cambodia, TWR seeks to reach children, youths, women and church leaders through their radio programmes and audio material. TWR’s ministry in Cambodia is of great importance in view of the high illiteracy rate and poverty amongst Cambodians.

The TWR team also engages in fieldwork – they visit provinces throughout Cambodia and run Christian programmes in rural areas. Additionally, TWR corresponds with their listeners. More than a thousand letters arrive at their office in a month. TWR carries out follow up work and builds relationships with listeners who get in touch with them. We spent about an hour in dialogue with the TWR team, understanding what they do and hearing stories of how they bring Christ to Cambodia. They also shared prayer concerns for their ministry and Cambodia. Like all the other organisations that we visit, we ended our time at TWR in prayer for the people of Cambodia and God’s work there.

On our fifth day in Phnom Penh, we visited Place of Rescue which was founded as a Cambodian NGO in 2003 by Mar. The place accommodates families living with AIDS, orphans, grannies and young unmarried pregnant women. Currently the place houses approximately 250 people, in which 190+ are orphans; 27 are HIV positive; and 20 grandmothers. The place is managed by Mar, a Canadian lady with her team of locals. Mar took us on a tour around the compound herself and we got to see how everything was done in the houses for the AIDS patients, orphanage, school and grannies houses. She also hosted us in her little house where we talked about the development of Place of Rescue II which was established in another province of Cambodia.

Place of Rescue also coordinates regular visit to Preah Khet Melea Hospital. Every Wednesday morning, a group of approximately 20 people from different churches in Phnom Penh gather for prayer at the hospital and then go in small groups of 2-3 people to visit the patients, some of which are HIV/AIDS positive. They visit the patients to share the Gospel, pray, and give gifts of food. We had the opportunity to join their team and visited the patients in the hospital with the locals, praying for them and providing support and financial relief to the patients where possible.

On our last day in Phnom Penh, we got to visit the headquarters of OMF International in Cambodia. OMF International is a Christian missionary organisation that serves the church bringing the gospel to some 12 countries in East Asia and has pioneered ministries in other countries by creating opportunities for missionaries to share the love of Christ in East Asia. Under OMF International is the OMF-Cambodia which started in 1975 when their missionaries went to the Thai-Cambodian border and ministered to refugees during the war.

Presently, OMF-Cambodia works in youth centres of 23 provinces all over the country. It desires to plant and develop churches in Cambodia but they do not start new projects. Instead, they only train some pastors and key leaders to support the existing work in the provinces. Missionaries that OMF sends into the field are on terms of 4 years plus 1 year furlough. Even though OMF-Cambodia faces a lot of challenges especially in terms of the locals viewing Christianity as a western religion, they still do their best to support existing work of various churches in the provinces. We spent 2 hours at the headquarters and left praying that this organisation will continue to be a channel of God’s blessing to the people of Cambodia.

TTC = Liberal?

2010-11-13T23:44:00.005+08:00

Even before I applied to TTC, I heard that this college is labeled as "liberal" and some people advised me not to apply here. Hope this blog post from my senior at TTC provides clarification.

The Summons

2010-11-12T23:53:00.004+08:00

Today is the official closing day of my first semester at TTC. We had a closing ceremony, and we sang a song titled "The Summons". This song left a great impression on me. Nice song and great lyrics... Really made me ponder...
You can check the video below...

The Summons

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown?
Will you let my name be known
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

Following GOD is not easy.
It takes daily commitment on the renewing of 'me': my characters, my understanding, my thought, my deeds, my everything.
To let go my dream, ambition, and plan.
To not have control of me and my future.
To let go of the 'me' and let God shape me to become the 'me' that I never expected.
It can be scary... but it is amazing... to see how God has brought me here and now. Sometimes I do not dare to think where God will bring me, because I know that it is beyond me.

The song also reminds me of my quiet times a few days ago. Let me quote Oswald Chamber's "My Utmost of His Highest" (10 Nov):
-After sanctification, it is difficult to state what your purpose in life is, because God has moved you into His purpose through the Holy Spirit. He is using you now for His purposes throughout the world as He used His Son for the purpose of our salvation. If you seek great things for yourself, thinking, “God has called me for this and for that,” you barricade God from using you. As long as you maintain your own personal interests and ambitions, you cannot be completely aligned or identified with God’s interests. This can only be accomplished by giving up all of your personal plans once and for all, and by allowing God to take you directly into His purpose for the world. Your understanding of your ways must also be surrendered, because they are now the ways of the Lord.
I must learn that the purpose of my life belongs to God, not me. God is using me from His great personal perspective, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him. I should never say, “Lord, this causes me such heartache.” To talk that way makes me a stumbling block. When I stop telling God what I want, He can freely work His will in me without any hindrance. He can crush me, exalt me, or do anything else He chooses. He simply asks me to have absolute faith in Him and His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, and if I wallow in it I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. Doing this creates for me my own cozy “world within the world,” and God will not be allowed to move me from it because of my fear of being “frost-bitten.”-

For me, to follow God means to never have plans for my life and to let God plans for me. It sounds crazy, because people would ask me, "What will you do next?". Usually I will answer, "I hope to be able to study further, my passion is in teaching, so long-term plan is to be a lecturer in a Bible School in Indonesia."
Can you see the 'me' in my answer? MY passion, MY plan, MY hope. Not HIS plan or what HE wants me to do. I sometimes think I should just answer, "I am not sure yet. I leave it to God. He will let me know in His time." Well... I guess I'm too proud give that kind of answer.
I need to constantly remind myself to be open to His ways and His will. It is, of course, still possible that I will never be a lecturer, or I will not serve God in Indonesia.

One thing I believe: I can be anything and anywhere, as long as it is what God wants me to be. LORD, keep my heart always open for YOU and YOU alone!

The Process of Understanding God

2010-10-09T21:01:00.007+08:00

"Faith seeking understanding"

- Anselm of Canterbury-

I think the above sentence sum up on what is the biggest theme of my life right now. The faith that seeks understanding. I started with faith, and I am now seeking understanding to strengthen my faith in God, trying to understand God and His will, more and more.

It is a process. A necessary process. Some of them call it the "deconstruction and reconstruction of faith". If I may draw an analogy: It is like a puzzle. Some parts of the puzzle are firmly placed in the correct place. The other parts are still waiting to be placed correctly into the puzzle board. Sometimes you feel that one part has been correctly placed, but along the way you think that it is not, so you need to pull it out and wait for the next moment where you can put it back in the correct place. Sounds complicated? It IS!

The deconstruction part is unpleasant in a way that I am now sometimes feeling like someone that understand very little about God. I feel lost. I feel doubt. I am made realised that my theological and biblical foundation is far from solid. What an unpleasant experience! I sometimes not sure what to think, what to ask, what to answer, what to do, or which one to choose. And it is not just affecting my intellectuality, but also my emotional, social, and spiritual life. It affects my life, my whole being. But the reconstruction part is wonderful. There were moments that God gives answers, reveals more about Himself, and I am made amazed.

I faithfully embrace the process. I believe that this understanding of God will help me in building a solid foundation of my life. I believe that there will be time when my realization of faith in life will be much more solid. It is a lifetime journey, I believe, but this 3 years at TTC is crucial and intense. When I finish my study here, it is a different world out there, with a different process to go through.

My Journal Entry on Friday, 27 Aug 2010

2010-09-08T12:54:00.005+08:00

Just wanna share with you a bit of my walk with God at the end of last month (through sharing my journal entry). But in able to make sense of what happened, I would give a brief description on the setting *Just like it is more helpful to understand the Bible when we know the context :)*

That Friday, I have deadline of an assignment. I finished it at 5am in the morning. *I know it's a bad habit to do things in last minute, but I do have a reason for it*
That Friday, TTC Cultural Night was held in the afternoon. Indonesians performed "Yamko Rambe Yamko" (from Papua). Of course, it needed preparations (we must memorise song & dancing moves, prepare costumes, etc)
On the next day (Saturday), me and 4 other friends went to Cambodia for an 11-days mission observation trip. And, of course, we also must prepare for the trip (background research, met people who has experiences in Cambodia, work on the trip schedule, correspondences with some people in Cambodia, ministry preparation, packing, etc)
I must say that it was so hectic.

And here is my journal entry on Friday, 27 August 2010, written in the morning before breakfast, when I truly need to pour out everything to God:

"Dear LORD, what a week it has been! Short and irregular sleeping times... assignment deadline... preparation for Cultural Night and trip to Cambodia. It's crazy!!!
But I'm grateful I'm not alone. There's You... and there's a classmate who had the same struggle and have been praying for me. Hehe.. :p

What I learnt from this?
Your peace...
In times where I was most hectic, Your Spirit always reminded me that it is utmost important to find time to be still. Or I would surely go out of my mind, or probably fall sick.
Thanks for 'honey time', a 15-30 minutes everyday to drink honey while enjoying the greeneries from my bedroom or the cluster lounge. It was so refreshing to see those trees as well as hear the breeze and birds' chirping.
Thanks for the 1-2 hours 'nap time' every afternoon. You know how important a nap for me because I only got 2-3 hours sleep at night for the past few days. *Ability to sleep is a blessing*

To have faith...
Somehow I believe that everything will be fine and that I will finish all in time.
Yup, there was time that I doubted, and I did prepare for the worst, but I'm doing well now and doesn't need to go on the the worst-case-scenario.

So.. thank You:
-for keeping my health despite hectic schedule and lack of sleep
-for the honey and vitamin C that mom prepared for me :)
-for the wonderful times with fellow Indonesians in preparing for the Cultural Night. It's been fun!
-for Cambodia-tripmates, that we were encouraging each other
-for Your true peace :) "

Yes, GOD is GOOD, ALL the TIME ;)

Lesson from Church History

2010-08-20T23:13:00.006+08:00

If you read this entry of my blog, you will realise that I was quite reluctant to read Church History book.

But reality started to hit. First exam!

Well, I think I need to explain a little more on what I meant by first exam.
The Church History total score consists of:
- 3 exams each valued 20% (total 60%)
- 1 assignment valued 40%
The first exam was scheduled to be held on 18 August. And two weeks before that, from the 13 chapters that will be tested, I only have read first three chapters. After I read chapter 3 I just stopped reading it, totally not interested. I really thought the book was boring.

But God has its own way to change me. To make me realise that studying Church History is part of His plan to shape my understanding and my life. He let things happened in my life that encouraged me to enjoy the process of study.

1. The letting go of A. This is the most important lesson.

I have been stressing myself with my own expectation to get A. I used to always told myself that I need to get minimum B because it is a requirement to continue my scholarship and to continue to study further. I felt stressful and unsecure. I need to get good score, but I don't like to read the book. How????

In these times, God has spoken so many things to me. Through my quiet times and through the lecturers. Gradually, I changed the way I think.

The main point is not to get A. The main point is to give my best and leave the result to God. I remember vividly my OT lecturer said in class, "God does not accept you because of your score. Whatever score you have, whether it's A or not. God has accepted you. God has accepted you for who you are." Amen! :) At that time I felt very peaceful and secure. Yup, God accepted me. It is ridiculous for me not to accept myself. And why should I worry about what the scholarship organisation or what the church think of me if GOD himself accepted me?

2. Primary source

While I don't like to read the book, I like to read the two articles that the lecturer gave to us as a material for discussion. The articles are amazing!

One told about how people must undergo 3 years of church membership class! In the early church, they took matters more seriously. They would examine the job, the life and the character of the cathecumen. My church membership class is only 6 months, and in most of my classmates' church are even shorter. The day before their baptism, the cathecumen must pray 6 times a day and fast (!!!) And there are many more requirements. It shows how significant baptism was for them.

The other article told stories regarding martyrdom in Lyons. It was so mind-blowing and heart-wrenching. I can't imagine myself in their situation.

They are heroes of faith. Their suffering and death brought glory to God. What an example to follow.

3. The presentation on martyrdom in Friday chapel service by my Church History lecturer's family group.

It was amazing, to see martyrs from all parts of the world, including Indonesia, particularly among the Bataks. Interestingly, they also presented about martyrdom in Japan.

Well, I am definitely more theologian than historian. I'm so weak in memorising years. Fortunately, I've got a theologian lecturer that prefers to find theological values from events in Church History compared to memorising years, names, and places. Thank God :)

After the gradual encouragement, I started to gain interest in Church History and began to read my Church History book again, chapter by chapter... No pressure on me. I told myself, "Relax, Ita. Just read chapter by chapter. If in the end you cannot finish all the chapter, it is okay. Just enjoy the reading and the process of learning. If in the end you score low, It is okay. There will be two more exams after this. And there will be assignment. There are still chances to improve your score. Don't be too hard on yourself. It is the first exam anyway. As long as you have done your best according to your capability, any results will be fine."

I feel secure in His everlasting arms and His unconditional love :)

Peace and security is needed most in exam. If we are stressful in facing the exam, it will be more difficult for us to remember the things we have studied.

And... How's the result? I'm satisfied. Definitely higher than I have expected. *Well, that's basically what happened when you lower your expectation :p*

Really thank God! :D

Bible Quiz

2010-08-20T22:30:00.004+08:00

It is a common practice for TTC to held a Bible Quiz for all full-time students at the beginning of the semester. The purpose is to give a brief description for the lecturer on the students' knowledge of the Bible so they can teach us accordingly.
I remember that I finished the quiz very fast. Why? Because I dunno most of the answer. I decided not too push myself to answer correctly, because that would give false impression on my Bible knowledge. If I don't know the answer, I will skip. I won't pretend that I know.
Then I received the result. It's 63%.
It IS low :p I asked some of my friends on their result... 79%... 88%... 70%... and I heard that one of the students got 94%!
I was not disappointed. The result totally reflected my Bible knowledge. I might be the only student who never read the whole Bible.

I remembered in Theology class we were talking about it with the lecturer. And he mentioned, "Your faith is not measured by how much Bible facts you know."
Well, I replied, "Amen" :)
But, of course, it doesn't mean that I can just go away with it. I am now more realised on how important for me to be to study at TTC and how important the weekly OT quiz for me :)

The next day after I received the result, I pondered about it. I was reminded by what Oswald Chambers mentioned during my quiet times a week before. I flipped through my journal and I found this note:
"Oh, the bravery of God in trusting us! Do you say,"But He has been unwise to choose me, because there is nothing good in me and I have no value?" That is EXACTLY why He chose you. As long as you think that you are a value to Him, He cannot choose you, because you have purposes of your own to serve"

Tears rolled down from my eyes when I read that quote again. I prayed. I thanked God for choosing me, this girl with little knowledge of Bible. I felt so unworthy, yet God trust me.
God... trust... me.
Wow, this is something big. Beyond my comprehension. Which is the very reason to believe more that it is God's works. Totally His works.

Be Thou My Vision

2010-08-15T21:31:00.003+08:00

It's been 6 weeks I did not attend IEC Singapore Sunday Service due to TTC church visitation.
I missed singing hymns with the congregation. Churches in Singapore (at least the ones that I attended) don't really put so many hymns in their praise & worship...

Anyway, so happy that I finally can sing "Be Thou My Vision" again in a Sunday Service! :) Usually I just listened to it myself in my room... :(
Specially love this song! Look carefully to its words... so God-centered... so encouraging... so full of commitment and determination...

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art.
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Classes @ TTC

2010-08-12T18:48:00.006+08:00

Been busy in the past month since school started. No update for so long because lately I prefer to write in my journal. Yes, I still prefer writing by pen :)

I have not followed Facebook for 3 days! Haha... Somehow it just never crossed my mind. Too engaged with classes, readings, and enjoying community life here at TTC :) So fun, so inspiring, so mind-changing. In the process of life-changing, I guess.

Too many things to talk about. But I will write about my classes at TTC now.

Monday is "Mission and Evangelism" (M&E) class. What is good from this class is that we always start with prayer for missions around the world. It keep us updated on what is happening in the world out there and grow our compassion for people.
We are supposed to do several projects. One of them is to write a reflection on our participation in Mission Trip. Well, I must say that I'm totally amateur in this area. Zero experience. I have never been to a Mission Trip before (there is a high probability that I am the only one in class that never been to MT before).
Me & 4 friends are planning to visit Cambodia from 28 August to 6 Sept. Well... cannot say much anything now as we are still in the midst of preparation.

Tuesday is "Old Testament 1" (OT1) class, which I am a Subject Representative (basically assisting the lecturer in some duties and being a mediator between lecturer and classmates).
A great experience as a Subject Rep! It is a pleasure to serve the class and the lecturer. I myself honestly has been blessed with this responsibility.
It makes myself busier, yes, but it is also a great learning for me. I knew that the lecturer is a very busy person (look at the list of all her responsibilities at TTC - lecturer, Acting Chaplain, Warden- not to forget that she is a wife, a mother, and a preacher!) but she replied to my email fast and she would patiently explain to me on the matters when I really didn't know what to do. And she would do it in a way that is very encouraging and friendly. This has motivated me to keep doing the best because I know that she is doing her best.
Another good thing is.... Every week we have quiz!!!! :p The lecturer assigns us to read one Book for each week starting from Genesis. It is an interesting experience with its own struggle that I would need a special post to talk about it.
But I like the lecture! I'm so into OT now! I would happily read the Bible and read more than the required readings. It crossed my mind that if I have a chance to study further, I would take OT as my area of research.
If I have to describe OT, I would say that it is so deep and so rich with theological values. OT is the "Bible" that Jesus read throughout his life, right? If I wanna be like Jesus, must study the Bible that He was studying :) It is good to master both Old and New Testament. We will definitely be more like Jesus.

Wednesday is "Church History" class. Sadly to say, the class that I was most reluctant to go to. Why? I have problem with the textbook that we use. It is so boring that I found myself sleeping almost everytime I was reading it! >.<>

Thursday is "New Testament 1" (NT) class. The lecturer is also my Family Group mentor and a great Theological blogger. His blog is the top 100 Theological blog in USA!
A very nice person indeed, and he is so efficient in teaching as he would carefully chose his words in delivering his lecture. He also chose for us a more interesting textbook with full of colour, pictures, and maps (definitely helps me as a visual person) :D Well, NT is not something new for me as I took night class in other Bible School on NT before. But a different teacher means a different perspective so it is still interesting.
I would happily dedicated this blog post to him as our conversation with him today in Family Group about his blog has inspired me to return into blogging again :)

Friday is "Theology 1". Love the lecture and couldn't ask for more! :) He is a Professor in Christian Doctrine. He is like a " Theological dictionary in the form of human" :), and he would make a thick Theology book into a concise presentation. I am amazed! :)

For a full list of TTC lecturers, visit this page. You could try to make a guess on which lecturer teaches each of my 5 class :)

Ok, that's all for today. Will tell you more stories of my TTC life later :)

Wanna Be Like Jesus?

2010-07-17T08:33:00.002+08:00

"Jesus was short on sermons, long on conversations; short on answers, long on questions; short on abstractions and propositions; long on stories and parables; short on telling you what to think, long on challenging you to think for yourself; short on condemning the irreligious, long on confronting the religious."
-Brian Mclaren, More Ready Than You Realize-

TTC Orientation Days (5-6 July '10)

2010-07-10T23:04:00.002+08:00

Life at TTC started with two days of orientation (Monday and Tuesday) and those two days of orientation has become two days of encouragement.

As some of you know before, I started life at TTC with excitement as well as apprehensiveness. There were some worries regarding the classmates... the food... the lecturers... reading materials... and the amount of workload (the thing that make me worry most). Let me answer one by one.

The classmates... rocks! :D A lot of them are almost the same age as me and even younger, so it is quite easy to get connected with them. There are some who are much older, but they are so kind and brotherly... Some of them even very youthful till I feel that they are the same age as me J We were so committed to help each other, no one gets left behind. It reminds me of a quote from Lilo & Stitch: “Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind.” Yes, we are ohana.

And... I realized that I forgot to include seniors! They are very very nice and helpful.

The food... well... I don’t think I will get my favourite Indonesian, Japanese, Myanmar food. It will mostly be Singapore food. But it’s okay though, coz I’m not fussy about food. I’m an omnivore. I’ll eat everything... But honestly, I found the food acceptable.

The lecturers... well... cannot say much about it, class hasn’t started yet.

The one that I was worried most: Reading materials, assignments, etc... is worse than I had imagined before. In the opening speech, the Principal told us, “TTC can be a seminary or a cemetery.” Yup, cemetery. That is where our faith will go when we focus a lot on intellectual formation only. Some lecturers advised the locals to minimize or cut our time for ministry. I chat with some of the seniors, and in our conversations I sometimes asked them how life in TTC, especially the amount of the workload. NONE of them answered, “It’s okay” or “Not too busy”. Some of them answered only with a smile (because they didn’t want to tell the truth as the truth will scare us), and some of them just took a deep breath and answered, “You will realize that you can go through it by the strength from God only.” (not sure to categorize it as encouraging or discouraging...)

The most discouraging part is when one of the seniors reminded us that life after TTC will be tougher than life at TTC. She mentioned that some alumni stopped ministering. Some of them are really stressed out and struggling in their ministry that they asked her to support in prayers.

Imagining life in and after TTC made me feel so weak. I was anxious.

But God's always beyond imagination.

It is in the second day I heard someone said, “In grace and in truth.” When I heard the word GRACE, I was surprised. I was like awaken from a nightmare. Isn’t it through our weaknesses that we could see God’s grace?

In the last session, which is Evening Prayer on Tuesday, we were given time to reflect and pray. It was then that I reflected on “grace” and was reminded again that God is omnipresence.

He was there... He is here now... and He WILL BE there.

By His grace, I was saved.

By His grace, I was called.

By His grace, I am equipped at TTC now.

And by His grace, I believe I will finish well... not just until I finish TTC... but until God called me back home...

God also reminded me again to have HOPE in Him. I remembered that in the previous Saturday I shared testimony in the youth fellowship about starting a life at TTC, and at that time I ended it with saying, “Well... I just can surrender it to God...” But Rev. Gideon Ang suddenly added, “Well... not only to surrender... but also to hope. To surrender and to hope. (Berserah dan berharap)”. The word “hope” (and Rev. Gideon’s voice) echoed in my mind during that reflection time...

I shed tears...

Tears of gratitude...

Tears of relief and comfort...

Tears of hope...

Thank You, Lord J

To be continued to the Retreat part?

Thank you, Adam Couple!

2010-07-03T23:10:00.004+08:00

My bro intoduced me to Adam Couple when I was back in Bandung. They are one of a few couples stars in a Korean reality show titled We Got Married (WGM).
You can watch all the episodes from Youtube, just please don't blame me if you get addicted :D

Jo Kwon and Ga In (the couple) has successfully brightened up my days in the past 3 days. I laughed, laughed, and laughed a lot :D And it's just so great to see the chemistry between them. I do think they fell in love with each other :)
Just want to put this video as something to remember.

A Little Update After So Long...

2010-06-29T13:22:00.004+08:00

Wow... it's been one month since I last updated my blog! Lazy me :p

How's life now?

Mmm... if you read my previous post regarding my trip to Beijing, you would get a sense that I enjoyed it very much. Well... yes. And now, I am constantly missing Beijing. Moreover, 2 days ago I watched Karate Kid, and it has successfully made me missing the city more. I have been thinking to go there for 1.5 months during my school holiday to learn Mandarin. Or.. even to go there for a year! But I'm still not sure about everything. I can say that right now my life is not about what I want anymore. I totally need to pray about it. Is it my selfish will? Or is it part of His plan to shape me? It's funny that I have changed. I'm embracing the Chinese part of me more and willing to develop it. Hope my school life helps, because my school has Chinese program. Let's see...

And.. talking about school! Yeah! I am totally back to school again! And this time I will be living at the dorm! Wow... it's a totally new experience for me.
Seeing the same people every day... and night...
Cannot buy whatever food I want, all arranged by the school... I sometimes wonder what kind of food I will taste there... Will I ever taste my favourite Indonesian, Indian, Myanmar, Japanese food? :p
What kind of classmates and lecturers will I meet?
Will I be able to cope with writing paper in English? >.<
How many books will I need to read? Will I understand the English they use in the textbook?
No income... so I will really really need to stop the urge to spend money on books and movies :'(
Will I change? In what ways?
Well... no point in thinking about it and then getting worried. It would be better for me to stop imagining about things and wait for it patiently and in trust that God will help me in times when I feel so weak.
TTC, here I come! :D

Beijing... oh... Beijing...

2010-05-30T19:38:00.003+08:00

It's been one week since I came back from Beijing and I miss that city a lot! :'(

I really really really thank GOD for the opportunity to be there *my farthest trip so far*. Honestly, I have never ever imagined myself being there.
The trip itself started when I had a conversation with Mrs. I whose daughter, Z, currently studying there. She offered me her place to stay if I ever had a chance to go there. Well... Why not? Then I thought.
I've got non-budget-airline-but-cheap ticket :) And I've got a free furnished apartment *bonus: house mate :)*
Great!

Well... to provide a brief description of my times there, I will show excerpts of my journal entry written there:

“Lost in Translation” started when I got into the taxi. The driver couldn't speak English at all. Gestures is the language here :) Arrived into the apartment lobby and the people there spoke very little English. They was very very nervous when they knew that I only speak English. But one very good thing that I noticed from them is that they were trying hard to speak English with me, and all the people around them, even though they are not staff, helped them :) Z was having a class and therefore I couldn't call her. So I just decided to put my baggage in the storage room and walked around there.

There is no rules on the road. The roads are so wide and there were bicycles everywhere. Quite dangerous because people drove cars very fast. There was no rules on the road. Some people don't wait until the light is green. And there is high chance that a bicycle will bump into you because bicycle rules here!:)

The weather was awesome! It was cold and windy. Aircon and heater are available,but I don't need it! It really reminds me of good old days in Bandung!

Finally I met Z and we reached the apartment together. It was newly built apartment, very cozy.
Z's parents let me sleep in the only bedroom. It was like hotel room with big flat TV and they let me use the laptop in the bedroom.

I couldn't stop thank GOD for this. I was asking HIM for a getaway and He provided it through the nature which He created and through Z's family.
A weather that I dreamed of. My own private room. Tranquility. It's perfect, GOD. I couldn't ask more. Thank You for everything :)

Today I went Yuan Ming Yuan (Old Summer Palace). It was the place that used by the emperor and the royal family to 'cool down' during summer (as summer in Beijing could be very very hot). It is a huge place with lots of lakes, trees, flowers, and pavillions to enjoy beautiful sceneries. The scenery could have been more beautiful with lots of wonderful building such as palaces, mansions, temples, fountains, huge statues, etc, but the Anglo-French troops destroyed all the buildings and stole some the best statues. So when I was there, I only saw ruins.

I figure out that while it is a very good thing to take time for a while from the hot summer to enjoy Yuan Ming Yuan, it is also important they go back to their own main responsibility to govern the nation. For me, it means that in the 'heat' of life (when I started to feel life as only routines, when I feel burn-out, when things started to get me beyond my control), it is important to stop, to be silent and solitude before the LORD. And this silence and solitude cannot be natural to human. We need to arrange time with HIM, because it is not human nature to seek GOD first. It must be intentional. And another that is not less important is to continue with the 'routines' with the refreshed perspective of it and strength from the Almighty. Most of the times we are unconscious about the benefit of routines. Routines could actually helps us indirectly to move on with life. When we do the routines, it means life goes on and GOD still wants us to be HIS partner in this life. We still have duties and responsibilities to do. Isn't it nice to see routines from a different perspective? But it is not easy to do. Sometimes we need something very unexpected happen in our lives to make us realize the benefit of routines, such as when we lost someone we love and that we are in desperate need to move on. Routines could help us to get a sense that life does moves on.

Z accompanied me to Old Summer Palace and she showed me things that I wouldn't be able to see if I went there alone. She told me that the most beautiful part of Old Summer Palace is not the part the tourist group would stop at. In order to get the best scenery, we need to follow a small pathways (sometimes no pathways). This small pathways was definitely more difficult to follow. It is narrow. It is tiring because we need to do some climbing. It could also be dangerous because if your foot tripped, you cannot find anything to hang on and you would glide down. But the extra efforts really worth it. There was a pavillion in one of the highest point of the Old Summer Palace. I must say that it is the best spot. Very peaceful (you cannot see people talking,only birds chirping). Very cool with the wind breezed among the trees. Great view of Lotus lake and island.
Well... isn't life like that? When we want to get to the highest place, there is extra efforts needed. "

Next... let's go to my to-do-list that I roughly made before I went there:

I want to sing and pray without fear of waking up anyone :p - done
I want to finish "Secure in the Everlasting Arms" by Elisabeth Elliot... - not done
I want more time to reflect... -got
I want to pour out my thoughts in my journal... I missed my hand-writing! -well.. didn't write but typed on notebook
I want to go to the places I'd never been before (definitely!)... - done
I want to enjoy the cool weather and beautiful scenery... -done
I want to eat funny2 foods (scorpio?)... - done :)
I want to take lots of pics and videos (yeahhh!!!)... - done
I want to do bungee jumping (no such thing in Singapore!)... - done
I want to cook (errr... it's part of the plan... but not sure that I would be able to do this)... -done
I want to sleep early and wake up early... - not really :p
I want to take walks in the parks... -done
I want to learn a musical instrument... - done

Coming back to Singapore, I felt totally refreshed!

I started to ponder on what things made me refreshed. Was it being in a new environment? Doing things I never did before? The weather? The apartment? The food? Well... yup, those things helped, but I think what refresh me most is... LOVE... believe it or not! :p
It didn't mean that being in Beijing made me loved more. It's just that I could feel it more intensely as I did not have so many things to distract me in enjoying love from God and from others. Intimate time with Him alone... intimate time with Z...

My love language is quality time. I feel loved most if I spend quality time with the people I love.
I thank God I wasn't totally alone there! There's Z and her church friends...
Together we watch movies.... cook ... had dinner out (and delivery)... had girl talk and serious talk... hang out... play games... shop...
I feel loved knowing that she was willing to spend time searching through the net to find out for me how to get to places, and she even wrote it down for me. She also spared time to accompany me out and translate when I need to bargain.

While I received so many blessings and love, I would also need some channels to share them out with others.
I learnt that Z's love language is 'touch'. She would hold hands, lean her head on me, hug, etc. And I was learning to love her with the her love language. It didn't come naturally for me because I certainly didn't raised in a family that would 'touch' each other. And thank GOD for this opportunity to learn another aspect of love :)

What a give and take! I totally had a great time there! :)

Goodbye, Lion City!

2010-05-09T00:20:00.002+08:00

I will leave Singapore tomorrow, off to Beijing for 13 days personal retreat.
Too excited till I couldn'd sleep :p

In Beijing...

I want to spend more time ALONE with GOD. Didn't really have much quiet times totally alone here. Me & my roommate are two different person. I am a morning person while she is a night person. I usually had quiet times in the morning while she slept next to me (we were sleeping on the same bed) and at night it would be the reverse.
And most of the times in Singapore I would be outside doing things, including working part time.

I want to sing and pray without fear of waking up anyone :p
I want to finish "Secure in the Everlasting Arms" by Elisabeth Elliot...
I want more time to reflect...
I want to pour out my thoughts in my journal... I missed my hand-writing!

I want to get ready for my calling...
Thanks to Ev. Agus Susanto who shared to us today about Paul who is ready. He is ready physically, mentally, intellectually, and spiritually.
This trip to Beijing is part of the preparation to be ready for my calling, the nearest preparation would be studying at TTC. Hopefully this trip will help me to meet my mental and spiritual need.

I also want to spend quality times with my sisters there :)

Other than that...

I want to go to the places I'd never been before (definitely!)...
I want to enjoy the cool weather and beautiful scenery...
I want to eat funny2 foods (scorpio?)...
I want to take lots of pics and videos (yeahhh!!!)...
I want to do bungee jumping (no such thing in Singapore!)...
I want to cook (errr... it's part of the plan... but not sure that I would be able to do this)...
I want to sleep early and wake up early...
I want to take walks in the parks...
I want to learn a musical instrument...

So many things in mind... not sure whether I will be able to fulfill everything...
May the LORD help me to focus on achieving the main purpose.

The Near Future

2010-04-25T22:16:00.006+08:00

Future... I like to think about the future, especially my future. And lately I thought a lot about it.
It makes me excited, but also apprehensive.

1. China trip
Excited because I will see and do a lot of new things, but apprehensive because of the language. Last Friday was my last day to work full time in my company. Previously I thought that I could use this two full weeks (until 10 May) to learn basic Mandarin conversation. But now, the company asked me to work part-time everyday (2-6pm) because they haven't found out a replacement for me. There gone my studying time... I think later I will count on my Mandarin phrasebook and dictionary :p
Still not sure whether I should go to Shanghai from Beijing. If the trip with Rev. HR is confirmed then I won't go to Shanghai as I will spend the last 5 days in China getting involve in his team. He needs to get the visa to go there. I haven't applied for any visa also.
Anyway, I think my boss will even go to the extent of asking me to cancel my trip to China and will reimburset the ticket cost.
Hmm... waiting for His answer... really need His spirit of discernment...

2. June holiday
Coming back from China will be a full month holiday in June. Excited because I will spend time with my parents in Phuket and after that will go back to Bandung, but apprehensive of what I should do for 2 weeks plus in Bandung.

3. Trinity T. College Life
This is the most exciting part, and as a result... it is the thing that makes me most apprehensive.
A lot of questions came up into my mind:
Why TTC? What will happen? Will I be able to cope with lessons & reading materials? Will I be busy with classes and papers? Will I be able to cope with the great minds of the lecturers from various school of thoughts?
Other than that, it's about the scholarship. It motivates me to study well. I want my college days back. I studied International Relations and I loved it, so all the classes and reading materials were not a burden for me. Well... I hope it also will apply in my Theological study. I love God, so study Theology is not supposed to be a burden for me, but a process to enjoy.
But the problem is, scholarship also means there are some expectations from others (the church and organisation that funded me). I don't like to think about human's expectations. For me, God's expectation for me is the most important thing. But... I cannot just disregard their expectation. They are still the people whom God used to fund my study.
The situation is quite complicated I guess.

Well, I'm basically a phlegmatic. And one disadvantage of being a phlegmatic is they are coward. They are afraid to confront people. They are afraid of rejection. They are afraid of hurting people or being hurt by others therefore they don't like to build a deep relationship. They are afraid of challenges, sufferrings and failure... They constantly look for comfort zone.

Many times when I think about the future, fear will take charge. It IS dangerous.

In times like this, I always find comfort from Elisabeth Elliot's writing on the famous (and one of my favourite) hymn by Horatio Spafford, "It is Well with My Soul". It is the first chapter of her book, Secure in the Everlasting Arms. Here is the excerpts:

Just after the Arab-Israeli War in 1967, I spent 10 weeks in Jerusalem. One afternoon I was invited to have tea with Mrs. Bertha Spafford Vester, who had lived there all of her 91 years, a fascinating woman. She was the fifth daughter of Horatio Spafford, who wrote "It Is Well With My Soul."

I remember sitting in the small dining room of the beautiful hotel where I was staying, which had been the home of the Spafford family, and I noticed this old lady. She fascinated me. She happened to sit just across from me and I could sit there and watch her eat and watch her talk to the servants, all of whom of course she knew because she lived there in that hotel. And I wondered who she was and finally I asked my waiter and he told me that her name was Mrs. Bertha Spafford Vester. I remembered that name, Spafford, and somehow or other--I don't really know how in the world it happened--she found out that I was in the hotel and might enjoy having a cup of tea with her. So that is what happened.

The story of that beautiful hymn, "It Is Well With My Soul," is familiar, I'm sure, to very many of you. But Mrs. Vester added many details that were certainly brand-new to me.

The great Chicago fire of the 1870s caused Spafford, a wealthy businessman, to take stock of his life. Wanting to know Jesus better, he decided to sell everything and move to the land where He had walked. "He" was capitalized, meaning where Jesus had walked. Shortly before the ship sailed, he was delayed by business but took the family to New York. For some reason that he was unable to explain, he had the purser change their cabin, moving them closer to the bow. He returned to Chicago to finish his business.

Then came a telegram: "Saved alone." The ship had sunk. Mrs. Spafford had survived. Their four daughters had perished. Had they been in the cabin originally reserved amidships, all five would have been drowned, for it was just there that the steamer had been struck by another vessel.

As we sipped tea and munched on Arab sweets, Mrs. Vester, who was not born until after the disaster, told me how her mother had described that terrible, black night when she and her four little girls were flung into the cold sea. Frantically, she had tried to save them. Barely she had been able to touch just with her fingertips the hem of the little gown of one of her babies, but she could not grasp it. She herself had been miraculously rescued as she floated unconscious on a piece of flotsam.

During Mr. Spafford's voyage to join his wife in France, the captain summoned him one day to the bridge. Pointing to his charts, he explained that it was just here, where they were at that moment, that the other ship had gone down. Spafford returned to his cabin and wrote the hymn which has comforted countless thousands:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll--
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

That word "lot" is not one we use in quite that way. It means whatever happens, that which comes by the will of the powers that rule our destiny, a share, a portion, an assignment. When we draw lots, no human power controls which will be ours. But Christians know that we are not at the mercy of chance. A loving hand, a great wisdom, and an omnipotent power rule our destiny.

The government of all is on the mighty shoulders of Christ Himself, who sees all long before it happens. All is intended for our blessing. How different things look. Yet think of the faith of Horatio Spafford, suffering the loss of all his children and writing, "Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well."

To love God is to love His will. That which He gives we receive. That which He takes, we relinquish, as glad to know ourselves in the hands of God as we should be sorry to be in our own, as Fenelon said. As glad to know ourselves in the hands of God as we should be sorry to be in our own. Wouldn't you rather be in the hands of God?

With what astonishment of gladness or sadness we receive some things. With what reluctance or delight we relinquish others. Yet we find that we can bear our own sufferings while of others' sufferings we say, "I could never bear that."

My friend Jim, whose wife has cancer, wrote to me. "The assignment is so hard, but always there are the gracious gifts, the winks of heaven--a friend stopping by, a plumber coming at the perfect moment. Coincidences? Not to one with the eyes of faith. God shields us from most of the things that we fear, but when He chooses not to shield us, He unfailingly allots grace in the measure needed. It is for us to choose to receive or refuse it. Our joy or our misery will depend on that choice."

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; and have made my lot secure." Psalm 16:5

What an encouragement! In times of worries and fear, I sometimes would say, "Whatever my lot." and it will remind me of this beautifully-written and God-inspired article.

A Day with Rev. HR and His Wife

2010-04-22T00:12:00.004+08:00

Missionaries...
A special call...
A call for total surrender to GOD even on the simplest thing of daily lives...
A call for faith to His providence...
A call for sacrifice... die to yourself and your loved ones...
A call to live for Christ... and bear His cross...
A call to fully understand God's heart... His mercy and compassion...

A day with them has opened my eyes and heart of what God can really do in ordinary people's life. He is undescribably amazing, and I stand here totally in awe of Him and His works.

I believe my Creator knows me well, what I would and wouldn't be able to bear. That is why he did not call me for this particular mission.

Still... He is calling me to do good works that are just right for me...
And yes, just like Rev. HR and his wife who are faithfully doing good works that are right for them, I also want to be faithful to my calling.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." -Ephesians 2:10-